Unmotivatedperfectionist

Recently, I’ve been feeling like I’m spiraling downwards. I’ve been pushing off, important things I need to do, I’ve been making excuses for everything, and my mood is like a tornado, never to know where it will lead me. It’s been extremely stressful these last few months. I need to plan a wedding, in my home country of Germany, with my fiancé, that’s Italian-American with dual citizenship. And let me tell you, I’ve never hated German bureaucracy more in my goddamn fucking life. From horrible opening hours to, OHHH we’re not open on Mondays or weekends. I also should clean up my apartment, which by the way, I haven’t done in weeks. And then, there’s the big clock ticking over my head, that I need to empty out my home by mid April. So I’m running out of time, and my motivation is nowhere to be found. Giving up is not an option, I can’t let my fucked up head, and my unmotivated ass, get the best of me. I know I can do all of this, I did if before! I’ve packed up my whole life, and moved across the Atlantic before, so why shouldn’t I be able to do it now?! It’s just another move, just another episode of my head, not agreeing with my responsibilities, just another way, my ADHD is testing its limits. But I didn’t come this far, to just give in to it now. I’ve fought before and I’ll fight again this time.
I know I’m not the only one here, to have these problems. Hell, all you moms out there are superheroes to me, with your organization, planning, and executing of all the things you have to manage daily. So can we make a deal for just right now, and you’ll be my mom for a second, and you tell me how to get my head out of my ass, and get my shit done! Pretty please with a cherry on top? #needhelp #Unmotivatedperfectionist #stressmanagement #Anxiety #movingout #Cleaninghouseissues

I want to go back to college and I want to improve my skills on software programs and just become a better communicator and not feel like such a loser, but I don't know how to get over my fears. #Unmotivatedperfectionist

The desire for perfection doesn’t necessarily go away during depressive episodes. When I’m depressed I usually lack motivation and basic cognitive functions are slower and lagging. At times the thought of filling out job applications or doing laundry or taking a shower or even leaving my house seems insurmountable. Then I find myself getting mentally stuck in a thought spiral, unable to start a task because I know I can’t give it my all and it’s likely I won’t be able to complete it, especially in the way I would normally. Earlier this week a friend reminded me that anything worth doing is worth doing imperfectly, even poorly! That it’s ok to do 10% of a task when you cannot mentally handle completing it. That it’s far better to start and do some of it than it is to remain stuck and do nothing. So today, when I couldn’t bring myself to leave my house and go out into the public; I bundled up, went outside to the backyard, and sat on the porch with my dogs. #Selfcare #Depressedperfectionist #Depression #lackofmotivation #Thoughtspiral #stuck #Unmotivatedperfectionist #Someisbetterthannone #Worthdoingpoorly