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    New spoonie

    Hi I'm new here on mighty. I just signed up yesterday but I already forgot how I came across this platform, thanks to my #BrainFog lol

    It's been 2 years and 7 months since I contracted #COVID19 and have been suffering with #longcovid since then. Despite hearing all kinds of denials possible from doctors, now I am diagnosed with #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis and #Fibromyalgia and many more. Not that the labels help with my symptoms, but they surely helped me look in the right direction when searching for possible #treatment plans.

    I'm almost 40 and been #stuck at home mostly. I've recently been approved for a public transportation access link service so I'm planning on using that from time to time. I use a #Walker #Rollator and occasionally a #Cane when I go out to the doctors.

    I guess I'm here to connect with others going through similar things whether it be a longcovid, PASC, fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, arthritis, spinal stenosis, or more symptom-specifically #HypersomnolenceDisorder #Hypersomnia #PeripheralNeuropathy #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue
    I am quite new to this #Spoonie life and trying my best here.

    Post

    Shutting down at work

    I can feel myself shutting down and switching off at work after months of stress in my job. I knew that I was stressed and my body has started screaming at me as I literally feel the stress in my bones, but I didn't realize how close I was to a crash. I feel like I am low-key preparing for not being in this position for much longer, like wrapping up client files.
    The thing is, I can't imagine applying for new jobs or moving to a different workplace, so shutting down isn't really a viable option. But it's also just happening without a conscious decision.
    I don't know what to do. #Work #Stress #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #CPTSD #stuck #Financialstress

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    The BPD Struggle is Real #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #stuck #Job #Relationships

    The past 5 years have been hard to say the least. Health issues, mental health issues brought on by several significant life changes that all occurred in an abbreviated time frame.

    5 years is a long time and honestly, I feel stuck and not sure how to break through this.

    As a 53 yo woman, I feel like I have a lot to offer…to relationships and to employers. I have been lost though. I hold onto relationships even if I know they’re unhealthy because in my mind, I’d rather be comfortable with them than be alone with myself.
    I’ve been in 3 relationships, two of which are with NPD personalities. The one was a marriage of 20+ years. The second, 5 years. It’s on and off and neither of us seem to know how to stop it. It’s very hard, extremely hard especially when he sees everything I do wrong but can’t see his own behaviors. He deploys the silent treatment but when he’s finished punishing me (because that’s how it feels), he comes back and says that he wants the relationship. It’s all confusing. I know he’s toxic but there’s a part of us that we’re both drawn to the other and can’t ignore.

    My biggest problem is this job situation. It’s been 5 years and after having an 18 year extraordinary career, I can’t seem to help myself. I can’t afford therapy now so finding this group seems like a great supportive alternative.
    I just need someone to help me understand how to manage these situations that keep me stuck.

    Post

    #stuck #Motivation #PTSD #Depression

    Really needing a push for ANY KIND of motivation! what have you found that helps?

    Post

    Mid-mid-life crisis

    I'm kind of in a funk at the moment. I think this may be my almost midlife crisis lol. I'm kidding, kind of. My birthday last week has hit me hard. I'm 31 and I'm just kind of feeling like I haven't done anything with my life. I have two ok jobs. Neither pay well. I'm bored out of my mind at my FT job.
    I'm single, never been in a relationship, while 95% of my friends are married/ in long term relationships/ have kids.
    And most of my friends seem to be doing great professionally: psychiatrist, cops, working for three letter agencies, military, etc.
    I had such big dreams growing up and I just feel like I completely failed that kid. If I hadn't had all these medical problems/surgeries my plans wouldn't have had to change. And I just feel like I'm stuck and going nowhere.
    I wish I had joined the military straight out of high school. I could be 11 years into a career.
    Then I start thinking, well, get your ass in shape, hire a trainer, see if it's possible to still make that dream come true. Technically, I have just under three years til the cutoff. My doctors have always said that exercise could either significantly improve my health issues or even "cure" them.
    I know. I'm talking crazy. I've lost my mind. There's no way in hell I could get into good enough shape. But in my craziness, I emailed three different trainers and have two consults this week and one next week.
    I know that even if I go forward with this absolutely insane plan, my odds are slim to none. I just don’t think I’d be able to pass the medical screenings, but again, if I don’t try, I’ll just feel like I’ve forever failed that kid who dreamed these amazing dreams.
    Please, no criticisms. #stuck #CheckInWithMe #struggling

    Post

    My mom just doesn’t understand

    I’ve made mistakes, mostly like accepting my current job. Thankfully this job helped me realize my want to better myself and start to look at something within my field, however my mom will not let me live down or forget my past and it’s maddening. I had an issue spending money, accidentally spent too much, I’m better. What’s super frustrating is she supports my younger sister in her job struggled and want to quite but shuts me down. She constantly trying to give me reasons to fail and why I won’t make it xyz. I love my mom I’m just beyond frustrated with her constant need to tear me down.

    Just wanted to get this off my chest, it’s been bugging me for a while and the passing one of my aunts has made me reevaluate a lot of stuff and one thing is turning my fear of failing into fear of not trying. Thanks for reading.

    #CheckInWithMe #sad #anx #ChronicDepression #Depression #stuck

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    So lost today! #mindnumb #stuck #overwhelmed

    So many small but nagging minute things needs dealt with in the next 48 hours. I keep spinning from one to another, knowing EACH needs an answer via action on my part. Each one has me stumped. So my brain moves on to the next, etc.
    Now, I feel like the spin cycle on a washer. Round and round....
    Ugh! I can STOP the spin, but I still don't have the answers for any of this.
    Just need to put it out there....what my day is like.
    Hugs! I hope no one else has this struggle today. 🥴🤪

    Post

    Stuck

    I’ve been feeling really stuck and in limbo lately. I no longer have the urge or desire to die but I also don’t have much hope and joy in life or the thought of the future either. I just feel like im here, going through the motions. Like, I’m grateful to still be alive and to no longer have the heaviness of suicidal thoughts and death looming over me but im also not particularly happy or joyful to be here, if that makes any sense?
    I just wish I knew how to get out of this rut im in. Anyone else ever feel this way? How did you get out of it? #ChronicDepression #Depression #Suicide #Death #Joy #stuck #Limbo #help #alive #Gratitude

    Post

    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is Nic (Godguideme). I’m new to The Mighty and look forward to sharing my story.

    #MightyTogether

    #Depression

    #ADHD

    #Trichotillomania #Trauma #stuck

    Post

    Wanting to do what’s right

    I’m frustrated. My goal is to be a contributor to my family, do what’s best, what’s right for me and my grandkids and mom and dad. But I have this fear of telling the parents about things the kids do. Not to be telling on them (which seems to be how my telling the parents is taken) but because speaking with the kids directly is ignored or met with angery tantrums. I clean house the most because I am home the most and because that’s what one does to contribute. But because I’m grandma I feel I should also discipline the kiddos when they need instruction. But here’s when things get tricky. I feel like I can’t discuss anything with my daughter, she will always dismiss what I say with something that, “that’s okay ” or “ that’s fine”. She spends most of her time off sleeping or texting or watching her shows. Daddy does some stuff on his day off and spends some time with the kids but at some point he stops, and just lets YouTube and TV babysit the kids and he’s completely unaware what they are watching unless a shouting match happens over differences of opinions on what will be watched. Then he screams at them from his sitting position in the living room where he’s watching his shows.
    I clean, and I’m finding food and garbage and dirty pull-ups hidden behind furniture and boxes and suitcases, mildewing the carpet is wall.
    I can’t correct them without a loud opposition from the kids daring mom and/or dad to come in and put me in my place for trying to tell them what to do.
    If I tell dad what is happening he becomes upset (passively) and tells my daughter he has a problem with me telling him about the kids.
    I don’t know what to do. I just texted my son-in-law telling him I’m at a loss, don’t know what to do to get the kids to stop hiding all this trash, dirty pee clothes, dirty pull-ups and food. I took pictures too before I picked up the mess. This happens at least twice a week, ( my finding stuff like this). I tell the dad and sometimes mom even though I think they’re going to kick me out for causing trouble.
    #Anxiety #Worried #stuck