Join the Conversation on
554 people
0 stories
73 posts
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in
See full photo

Every Despondent Day

Today is one of those days. You know the kind. The kind where no matter what people say, look, do cheering up is just not happening. Short of someone telling me, I won the lottery. My total take home amount after taxes is 1 billion dollars, yeah, cheering up is not in the cards. I am not sure how many others are out there who have these days. These days you feel trapped. Since my divorce, I have no car, and no official income. I live with my retired parents and unemployed brother.(I am not sure why he doesn't even try to get a job but I am sure something is wrong with his spirit. He has mental issues of his own too. So, I try to cut him some slack.) I've been applying for menial jobs just to have some stream of income, with absolutely no success. Sure, I am halfway through a data analytics course. I have been working on this for 3 months. However, that brings in no income. On days like this I feel like I have climbed halfway up the depression hole, only to discover I am still at the bottom. All of the climbing you did yesterday was around the hole, not upwards. Also, by the way, the hole gets deeper every day. On days like this, my 100 square foot room feels like a glorified prison. I know I need to cry. I know I feel like this because I am exhausted and weary of the daily wear and tear life puts on us but there is no way to activate the catharsis because I officially have no one who "gets it". I have no one who gets me. I just want someone to give me a call, tell me, "Let's go have some fun. Don't worry I will pay." I want to get you out of the house. I want to get you away from the oppressive life you live with older Christian puritanical judgmental parents and family on watch, an annoying brother who will not get off the couch and bleeding clipped wings that long to escape this mind and body. Yeah, it's one of those days you have to wait it out.

#Depression #depressed #lonely #hopeless #MentalHealth #exhausted #weary #stuck #prison #catharsis #Isolation #Judgement #Escape #Needabreak #Fun #betterdays #Divorced #single #unemployed #noincome #livingwithparents #careerchange #financialstress#waitingforbetterdays

52 reactions 18 comments

Moving on from a self sabotaged relationship

Has anyone ever had a great connection with a genuine person but let their own insecurities and trauma get the best of you, and now they’re gone and you can’t reach out? How can you move on?
#checkin #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Depression #SeparationAnxiety #selfsabotage #OnlineDating #Relationships
#tired #CPTSD #self -sabotage #Dating #Love #stuck

19 reactions 5 comments

Trouble Answering Therapists Question

Recently started therapy with a new provider. It’s been going well but we are still in the early stages. My “homework” between sessions is to identify my fears about therapy and “doing the work” that is to come.

Has anyone else struggled to identify their fears or answering a providers questions?

#Therapy #stuck #questions #ADHD #Anxiety

4 reactions 1 comment

New spoonie

Hi I'm new here on mighty. I just signed up yesterday but I already forgot how I came across this platform, thanks to my #BrainFog lol

It's been 2 years and 7 months since I contracted #COVID19 and have been suffering with #longcovid since then. Despite hearing all kinds of denials possible from doctors, now I am diagnosed with #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis and #Fibromyalgia and many more. Not that the labels help with my symptoms, but they surely helped me look in the right direction when searching for possible #treatment plans.

I'm almost 40 and been #stuck at home mostly. I've recently been approved for a public transportation access link service so I'm planning on using that from time to time. I use a #Walker #Rollator and occasionally a #Cane when I go out to the doctors.

I guess I'm here to connect with others going through similar things whether it be a longcovid, PASC, fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, arthritis, spinal stenosis, or more symptom-specifically #HypersomnolenceDisorder #Hypersomnia #PeripheralNeuropathy #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue
I am quite new to this #Spoonie life and trying my best here.

4 reactions 2 comments

Shutting down at work

I can feel myself shutting down and switching off at work after months of stress in my job. I knew that I was stressed and my body has started screaming at me as I literally feel the stress in my bones, but I didn't realize how close I was to a crash. I feel like I am low-key preparing for not being in this position for much longer, like wrapping up client files.
The thing is, I can't imagine applying for new jobs or moving to a different workplace, so shutting down isn't really a viable option. But it's also just happening without a conscious decision.
I don't know what to do. #Work #Stress #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #CPTSD #stuck #Financialstress


The BPD Struggle is Real #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #stuck #Job #Relationships

The past 5 years have been hard to say the least. Health issues, mental health issues brought on by several significant life changes that all occurred in an abbreviated time frame.

5 years is a long time and honestly, I feel stuck and not sure how to break through this.

As a 53 yo woman, I feel like I have a lot to offer…to relationships and to employers. I have been lost though. I hold onto relationships even if I know they’re unhealthy because in my mind, I’d rather be comfortable with them than be alone with myself.
I’ve been in 3 relationships, two of which are with NPD personalities. The one was a marriage of 20+ years. The second, 5 years. It’s on and off and neither of us seem to know how to stop it. It’s very hard, extremely hard especially when he sees everything I do wrong but can’t see his own behaviors. He deploys the silent treatment but when he’s finished punishing me (because that’s how it feels), he comes back and says that he wants the relationship. It’s all confusing. I know he’s toxic but there’s a part of us that we’re both drawn to the other and can’t ignore.

My biggest problem is this job situation. It’s been 5 years and after having an 18 year extraordinary career, I can’t seem to help myself. I can’t afford therapy now so finding this group seems like a great supportive alternative.
I just need someone to help me understand how to manage these situations that keep me stuck.


Mid-mid-life crisis

I'm kind of in a funk at the moment. I think this may be my almost midlife crisis lol. I'm kidding, kind of. My birthday last week has hit me hard. I'm 31 and I'm just kind of feeling like I haven't done anything with my life. I have two ok jobs. Neither pay well. I'm bored out of my mind at my FT job.
I'm single, never been in a relationship, while 95% of my friends are married/ in long term relationships/ have kids.
And most of my friends seem to be doing great professionally: psychiatrist, cops, working for three letter agencies, military, etc.
I had such big dreams growing up and I just feel like I completely failed that kid. If I hadn't had all these medical problems/surgeries my plans wouldn't have had to change. And I just feel like I'm stuck and going nowhere.
I wish I had joined the military straight out of high school. I could be 11 years into a career.
Then I start thinking, well, get your ass in shape, hire a trainer, see if it's possible to still make that dream come true. Technically, I have just under three years til the cutoff. My doctors have always said that exercise could either significantly improve my health issues or even "cure" them.
I know. I'm talking crazy. I've lost my mind. There's no way in hell I could get into good enough shape. But in my craziness, I emailed three different trainers and have two consults this week and one next week.
I know that even if I go forward with this absolutely insane plan, my odds are slim to none. I just don’t think I’d be able to pass the medical screenings, but again, if I don’t try, I’ll just feel like I’ve forever failed that kid who dreamed these amazing dreams.
Please, no criticisms. #stuck #CheckInWithMe #struggling

1 comment

My mom just doesn’t understand

I’ve made mistakes, mostly like accepting my current job. Thankfully this job helped me realize my want to better myself and start to look at something within my field, however my mom will not let me live down or forget my past and it’s maddening. I had an issue spending money, accidentally spent too much, I’m better. What’s super frustrating is she supports my younger sister in her job struggled and want to quite but shuts me down. She constantly trying to give me reasons to fail and why I won’t make it xyz. I love my mom I’m just beyond frustrated with her constant need to tear me down.

Just wanted to get this off my chest, it’s been bugging me for a while and the passing one of my aunts has made me reevaluate a lot of stuff and one thing is turning my fear of failing into fear of not trying. Thanks for reading.

#CheckInWithMe #sad #anx #ChronicDepression #Depression #stuck


So lost today! #mindnumb #stuck #overwhelmed

So many small but nagging minute things needs dealt with in the next 48 hours. I keep spinning from one to another, knowing EACH needs an answer via action on my part. Each one has me stumped. So my brain moves on to the next, etc.
Now, I feel like the spin cycle on a washer. Round and round....
Ugh! I can STOP the spin, but I still don't have the answers for any of this.
Just need to put it out there....what my day is like.
Hugs! I hope no one else has this struggle today. 🥴🤪