My first job interview in 2 years and I broke at the one question I practiced the most ! #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Recovery #Whathappened #
So I’ve been building up to this job interview after having nearly 2 years away from work due to a serious sepsis infection that affected my body so much I’ve been crippled with chronic conditions and anxiety and depression!
So I have been through the initial interview, practiced the questions done loads of research and even practiced my questions with the recruiter and not once did I break when I told my story !
Half way through today the interviewer asked so you had a break from - to so tell me what happened and why your interested in this role - after me saying It’s a tough story but I contracted a nasty infection that turned into sepsis and resulted in ...... and then I felt the pain in my stomach , that gut wrenched fight or flight and I just burst into tears !
Why today ?
I have practiced my answer to this question a million times ?
Does this mean I’m not ready ?
What must they have thought ?
My anxiety is just about at a level 100000000 right now !
I did take a second compose and started again and broke then said can I have a few minutes please ?
They agreed but it was like it changed the whole vibe ! I may be overthinking but telling my story which involves the memories of me nearly dying and then having to cope with the aftermath and recovery and the anxiety and depression has taken its toll but I’ve fought hard to get to this point I’m not cured I’m not perfect but I’m ready !
But today has sent my head west ! Had anyone had this experience? How do you contain emotions you thought you could ? Nothing prepared me for that today I may not get the job but I know I tried and gave it my all even if me makeup looked like shit by the end !
That’s all Lau x