whatisthis

I'd like to start a thread about cleaning and organizing. I'll start.
1. When in doubt throw it out. (This is especially helpful as I cleaned up my fridge 😬 #whatisthis ?

This is a bit of an odd question that I'm not sure I'll be able to find the words for.

Is there a word for the feeling you get when your fatigued and your mucles and joints fell irritated? Like pain is not the right word. But everything just feels agitated? Like your so tired you can't stand being in your own skin and feeling your bones?

I've been trying to discribe this feeling and find a word for it so I could maybe look it up and see if there is anything that helps? Because I'm feeling it now and It makes me want to crawl out of my skin and cry. #Fatigue #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #whatisthis

I was going to be Army Strong. A provider. The strength must have been too much this bag of bones to handle collapsing within this old sack of flesh. Brain tell right leg to move. Alright right leg let’s go. The bone moves and the flesh stays. A will with no way. If I am the puppet master why have the strings weakened? Ache 🤒. #Veteran #Army #MyCondition #whatisthis

#CheckInWithMe
I’m so tired of anxiety clouding over everything, each day I try to keep busy and find any shreds of positivity I can. I’ve been trying to keep fighting and it’s getting so tough!

Going against the negative voice seems so meaningless when all I can see is evidence of all the lack of career goals, how I failed uni, why friends and ex’s hurt and abandoned me. My mind won’t stop screaming how I’m an embarrassing, inadequate,pathetic,boring person.

It’s like I’m a ghost half-alive and like I don’t deserve to exist unless I’m helping others and they like me. When I try to tackle anxiety and spend time with close friends I
never feel like anyone’s first choice. The emptiness and fear of them rejecting me is debilitating.

I desperately want to go out with close friends and others they know, just being able to be around them and enjoying myself without my head torturing me about it afterwards!

Whenever I try spend time with a group of friends(or with a close friend and their friends), I find myself becoming really anxious and suicidal. Because even when I focus and be nice and try to chat away - I feel so replaceable,like I am nothing, like I am only annoying them, like the people I care about don’t actually feel the same because they seem to be having a better,more fun time with their other friends.

I have this constant feeling deep down in me that I am not doing anything good enough, and just existing makes me feel guilty. I know I am a perfectionist and I know I put pressure on myself, and set high standards for myself but I don’t know how NOT to do this. I feel so lost and scared and the risk of failing and being hurt by others is ruling my life.

If anyone else understands this or has any input please comment xx

#Anxiety #exhausted #Fear #AvoidantPersonalityDisorder #whatisthis #lost #MentalHealth #relate