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    Impulse buying

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    2 hours left
    Very often
    Not as often as I should
    Not at all - I make good shopping choices
    My impulse shopping is so bad - My lights get cut off
    My impulse shopping is so bad they sometimes repo my car
    My impulse shopping is so bad that my spouse divorced me
    My impuse shopping is so bad that I maxed out my credit card
    My impulse shopping was so bad I got evicted
    I pawned my wedding ring and my electronics to impulse shop
    My impulse shopping is so bad my spouse cut the credit cards
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    My best friend

    Love this guy right here he has been my therapist for over a decade. He gets me walking again after surgeries because he always wants to go outside without him the chronic pain would be unbearable.#Depresion #chronicalodynia #neurogenicmuscleatrophy #Disabled #periphoralneuropathy #ChronicPain

    27 reactions 9 comments
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    #Lately ....

    I've been #SelfSabatoging lately and can't pin point why. I feel fine now, but it's like walking out of a fog. Im not seeming to steer towards a depression like im used to, which is disorienting. I just feel like im inside of the eye of a storm and it's so calm and peaceful here, but you know the storm will eventually pass over you, as it has before. The other shoe will drop eventually. In the mean time, here i am. In the midst of destruction and and in the wake of my bad decisions, I wait.
    #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
    #Depresion #Anxiety #PTSD


    Doing poorly

    I have been in a crisis stabilization unit for a week. My depression is could fuel the night sky, and anxiety right along with it. My PTSD symptoms are high as well. This time it's definitely a crisis.

    I meet with my doctors over Zoom so I still have them but everything is slow going. It was a mess this weekend as I continue to be tossed into the depths of hell. I got a last minute appointment with my psychiatrist today so we'll see what he has to say.

    #Depresion #CPTSD #Anxiety #Crisis

    2 reactions 14 comments

    Not bad

    Not bad
    Today I woke up
    The dread was there, but it wasn’t bad
    I took a shower, not great but not bad
    I made breakfast, it was simple but not bad
    I got dressed, not fancy but not bad
    I turned on the tv, the show was not bad
    I went outside, it was bright but not bad
    I breathed the air, it was cold, crisp but not bad
    I have no job, not ideal but not bad
    I went for a walk, not eventful but not bad
    I went to my therapist, the session not bad
    I had lunch, not mouth watering but not bad
    Another appointment, news not great, not bad
    I head home, not a mansion but not bad
    I have dinner, not 5 star but not bad
    I watch tv, nothing new but not bad

    I message you
    You ask how my day was
    I look back on it, all I can say is “Not bad”
    When you come thru darkness the world is grey
    The darkness doesn’t have shadows
    So when you see them you realize something
    Life isn’t like everyone else’s for you
    Your world isn’t perfect but.... it’s not bad

    #Depresion #Poetry


    Depression is hard.

    Give yourself permission to rest. Depression is a sickness, and it is hard 😔 #Depresion #Bipolar2Disorder


    Feeling of hurting myself

    I don’t know if anyone has experienced this. When I’m driving sometimes I feel like vearing off the road and hitting a tree and getting into an accident. #Anxiety #Depresion #Thinking #bad thoughts


    The clouds are coming back #MentalHealth #Depresion #personality disorder #medicationweightgain

    I went back to bed after getting the kids off to school. I can feel myself slipping back into the hopeless hole of mental cloudiness.
    I’ve been on a combination of medication that has worked wonders for my thinking but the weight gain has been extreme. I can barely put shoes on my belly and legs are so large . I’m not used to this feeling.
    I’ve been exercising several times a day plus watching my calories , without any weight loss success.
    Maybe I’m just having a normal feeling of discouragement and it’s not my mental illness coming to ruin everything.
    I’m going to make myself a coffee and do a workout.
    I hope this feeling passes . I don’t want to go back to being mentally unwell.
    Send me some motivation vibes , I need it .
    Thank you