I am a person, I am Fjolla and I am me because of all the people with disability I met during my life and I love me because of them.
But makes no sense if I love me and I will let people judge, discriminate and offend people with disability just because they can.
Imagine people using a diagnosis that USED TO BE a medical term for people with disabilities to offend someone these days, I am talking about the r*tarded word.
It really bothers me to hear people say the R-word but I do listen to how they use it and always speak up to explain why they
shouldn't use it.
1. R-word means you are not “normal” .
And who decided the norm of normal and why people with disabilities are labeled less human as long as they don't fit their community's social norms?
2. R-word is used to demean; it's used to make someone feel less than human.
People with disability have their diagnosis which is part of them but not their whole life.
Using the wrong label before the person is disrespectful.
We should emphasize they abilities not limitations.
3. R-word is a hate speech; it’s meant to be hurtful.
These days are people who are plain mean and use it with the means to hurt.
People with disability are people with different human abilities, why it's so hard for us to understand that?
They are people first.
4. R-word it’s meant to degrade someone with a learning disability.
People who use the R-word today they forgot that when they used to diagnose people with "mental r*tadion" on early 90s they limited their abilities, people who have no social life and spend thier days within the same walls every single day and by saying that it meant that they are slow, have low intelligence, incapable on their daily basics and back on time that's all parents expected from their kids that time.
If we want people to have higher expectation of people with disability, we can’t allow the world unlicensed to perceive them as stupid, less, delayed, ohh... how cruel and limiting that word is!
5.R- word it’s used when they want to make fun of someone of offend them for acting weird.
Our understanding moves on so should our expectation of language that is linked to people with disabilities.
If someone acts funny or looks funny to you there are a lot of words that you can used it: looks ridiculous, that's silly, that's foolish..
6.R-word it’s disgusting, it is basically saying "you are as bad as a person with disabilities" .
We say that people with disability have their own way of thinking, have thier own self-stimulating behaviors, sometimes a different way of showing thier feelings, being non-verbal, have they own world and imagination, walk a certain way or not walking at all, speak and get things very literally, need more time to understand things or a situation. but what is bad in all of these things and why we should compare their own being with something or someone who is or does bad things ??
Quite often when I feel stuck and unable to get anywhere in my mind (just like I was in my driveway the other day😅), I come to the Mighty.
It is like there are people pushing me out of the snow or shovel the way so I am able to go somewhere else in my mind again.
And also being able to share my experience with others and commenting on their posts makes me feel worthy and seen.
Thank you all so very very much for this experience! And it is only happening because of you! You are awesome, wonderful, loved and worthy!
#Depression #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #thankful #Love #worthy
Now that my kids are grown I have been struggling with feeling worth something. What is my niche? What is it I am supposed to be doing? I have been looking for work since last June but because of Covid, it is even harder to find a job that I can do with my disabilities. I have a Social Security hearing coming up soon. Fingers crossed that it turns out positive for me. Still, what do I do with myself. What is my worth? What do I contribute to society as a whole? This is a question that still haunts me.
I can’t say for sure but I decided to go on strike and say to the rest of the world: “fudge you, you are nothing to me!” Which of course is not true as my heart is full of hurt from the loss of my parents when I was young and the “loss” of my children by their choice of life.
So strike it is, with my husband of 23 years, who knows me very well, taking care of my physical needs and emotional ones, as much as he can.
I decided to stay in bed. Not to lay and cry although I gave myself permission too, but to lick my wounds, take care of myself with lot of sleep, reading, funny movies, tele series, animal documentaries, biographies, light food ( junk food does not appeal to me)and coffee.
It’s been 3 days now and I am recovering from that dark hole that was trying to swallow me.
I kept contact with my sisters and best friends but did not talk about what I was going through: they heard me retell the same ole story over and over. I try to give them a break and also be there for them. And I am a good friend. One good point for me!
Oh! And I was not alone: beside God who is always with me, He made sure that my dog and at least one of my cats staying with me in bed, close to me. So I am in good company.
I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here and it doesn’t matter: I’m getting better by doing what I’m doing right now.
Will it work if it happens in the future again? I don’t know as I live a day at a time.
Why? I can’t do nothing about the past but learn from it and I have no power over the future neither. All I can do is CARPE DIEM.
I didn't write this, but I feel this to my core.
For the exhausted woman who showers a few minutes longer to cry with the water...
For the person hidden in the bathroom, because she needs a few minutes of tranquility while slipping tears from her eyes.
For the woman who is so tired that she feels she can't continue, that she would give anything to feel like herself again...
For the woman who cries in her room when everyone leaves the house and for a moment she let's go...
For the woman who desperately battles with self Confidence when wearing denim pants because she wants to look pretty and wear them to feel better but everything just climbs over or can't close...
For the woman who orders pizza for dinner because she didn’t have the time to make dinner again as she expected... Because she's tired.
For the woman who feels alone, even when she's accompanied.
#Grief On Thursday I found out my my dad's long cancer had spread to his brain. The doctors gave him 2 months at most. Over the weekend he has already gotten dramatically worse. I went to see him yesterday even though I wasn't meant to due to Covid restrictions. I had to go say goodbye to him before he goes. He means the world to me. He also told me that I am worthy of love, it's like he knew exactly what I needed to hear when even I didn't. He always knew what to say to me. He made me feel loved when I felt like the whole world hated me. I am going to miss him so much.
I know that I can keep going after he's gone because he taught me how to. He taught me that it's not a weakness to lean on others for strength. He taught me that even if I can't or don't love myself that others love me because I am worthy of being loved.
We are all worthy of being loved, by ourselves and others. #worthy #Selflove #LovingOthersAsWellAsOurSelves
Most, if not all of us believe what I call the beautiful lie.
The lie says this is what really counts: to be wealthy, powerful, influential, attractive, admired, talented, popular, and, above all, valuable. We must make a life that is worth something to others. Worth more than others. The world screams at us to hurry up and matter. Our lives become a reaction to this lie.
According to the lie, we must not be nothings. To be good for nothing is to be as good as dead. And death is what we fear most. The death that says our lives have no value.
So we thrash about in a pool of comparison and one-upmanship. Our lives become burdened by the heaviness of getting it right. Our joy becomes brittle, and our hearts slowly break. The only possible outcome of this hurry-up-and-matter hustle is the slow crushing of our souls.
But God offers real life, where our brokenness is redeemed. He says we can abandon society’s beautiful lie and allow him to breathe new life into us, his beloved.
I think of the passage in Ezekiel where the Lord leads the prophet through a valley. Ezekiel wrote: “God’s Spirit took me up and set me down in the middle of an open plain strewn with bones. He led me around and among them—a lot of bones! There were bone all over the plain—dry bones, bleached by the sun” (37:1-2, msg). That’s our condition. We’re like dead, dry bones.
And yet God tells Ezekiel to prophesy—to reveal something by divine inspiration—over these bleached and broken things. The prophet does. And in the story the bones come alive. Broken things are made beautiful.
Here’s the point: God breathes life into our dead and imperfect things. So if we feel that we don’t measure up, that doesn’t mean we have to climb onto the build-your-worth treadmill. We already have worth. In God’s eyes. By his doing. And our worth is permanent, lasting far longer than any worldly attempt to uphold the beautiful lie could ever last.
#peopleofthesecondchance #wecallouttodrybones #comealivecomealive #worthy #HearingLoss #DeafCommunity
My silver lining of 2020 was realizing that the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself, and there’s nothing more powerful than the power of self love. Loving yourself is everything you need to sustain a meaningful life. It is accepting yourself unconditionally no matter what, which frees you from the burden of needing acceptance from anyone else. Loving yourself is realizing that every compliment and every kind gesture from others is just an add on to what already exists. It allows you to become more loving towards others and makes you want everyone to shine because you know for a fact that it will never dim your light. The energy that comes with loving yourself is magical that will inspire others to glow as well. The strength that comes with it is fulfilling that will make you acknowledge your worth and value. Self love isn’t being selfish. It’s respecting yourself enough that makes you not settle for anything less than what you deserve. At the end self love attracts the love of others and shows you that you are lovable with all the imperfections you have. The truth goes with this saying “no one can love you the way you love you” and you owe it to yourself.
I love you Rana♥️