At least do no harm
The ugliest name and image I can think of is my extended family, as they have let my mother die to abuse, my father be locked in for 2 weeks at a time due to abuse, my life almost be taken due to abuse, my daughter's personality to change due to abuse, and my man to get away with abuse for 15 to 17 years, and especially 8 years since I've seen them, except for 5 minutes at mom's funeral and previously to this post I had no hard feelings, #Abuse , #emotional Abuse Survivors #Suicide #abandonment #Care giving #Parenting #marital abuse #Incarceration #elder abuse #Suicide due to abuse
My mother is the only person who cares about me and I treat her very badly. My mum is always pushing me to do better. Make friends and socialise, get a new job and make more money, get a new car, clean the house up and get a girl friend.
I don't know if my mum realises how miserable and sad I am. I blame my mother for all my problems and she blames herself. She is literally the only person who calls me to see how I am and I push her away swearing at her and threatening her. I think she called me "by accident" after our conversation crying and said it was a mistake. I should feel terrible about the way I speak to my mother but somehow it relieves me of a lot of my troubles.
I am putting all my issues on my mother and causing her significant stress. I don't know how she feels because its all about me. Everything is about me and my troubles. I feel bad about how I speak to her but I think it is more about pushing her away and completely isolating myself. Once I am completely isolated is when I really consider whether my life is worth living. Fortunately or unfortunately, (depends on which way you want to look at it) she will never let that happen.
She will call again tomorrow, sometimes I wish she would let me be but I would be no better off. I love my mother more than anything and she knows that. I got clean and straightened my life out for my family with my mums support. No matter how much trouble I caused her she was always there for me. I feel bad treating her so poorly but she brings the worst out in me.
I hope my mum doesn't feel like she has failed as a mother. I think she feels bad because I am not happy, hurting and suffering.
I think she just wants me to be happy. She is not stupid and can see that I am miserable and hates seeing me this way.
#mum #motherslove #NeverGiveUp #Support #alwaysthere #reallove #Family #Truelove #Care #caring #Love #chillout #calmdown #emotional #respectful #Myfault #ownership #notherfault #mystory #Decisions #onlylove #imwrong #help #sheltered #supportive #EverythingWillBeOkay #Hope
Last week we did a needs check in and the winner of the poll was a hug. So this week I decided to send everyone a virtual hug from me to you if you would like one. I know it isn't quite the same as an actual hug, but wrap your arms around yourself and hold it for at least 20 seconds while thinking about something that makes you happy. Hopefully that'll be just the dose of oxytocin you need to start your weekend off right.
They never get a day off, they never get recognition. Sending love to these angels on earth.
Excerpts from "The Quiet Cost of Family Caregiving," by Paula Span of the New York Times, Sept. 4, 2022:
At first, Dana Guthrie thought she could help care for her parents, whose health had begun to decline, and still hold onto her job administering a busy dental practice in Plant City, Fla.
“It was a great-paying job and I didn’t want to lose it,” Ms. Guthrie, 59, recalled recently. So she tried shifting to a four-day schedule, working evenings to keep up with the office demands, and she began spending a few nights a week at her parents’ home instead of her own nearby.
Ultimately, though, her mother’s liver disease progressed and her father was diagnosed with dementia. The family learned that the cost of hiring home aides for two ailing 82-year-olds exceeded even a middle-class retirement income and savings. “They really needed me,” Ms. Guthrie said. In 2016, she left her job “and moved in full time.”
An estimated 22 to 26 million American adults currently provide care for family members or friends, most of them older people, who need help with daily activities; more than half of those caregivers have jobs. “There’s no doubt that juggling the two can be very difficult,” said Douglas Wolf, a demographer and gerontologist at Syracuse University.
Caregivers who are employed often reduce their work hours or leave the workplace altogether, research has shown.…
Male caregivers tend to "leave the labor force and they don’t come back,” [economist and researcher Dr. Yulya] Truskinovsky said.…
In contrast, women caregivers leave the work force more abruptly and are more likely to return — after just two years, on average — “but at lower wages or fewer hours,” Dr. Truskinovsky said.
The pandemic amplified the conflict between employment and caregiving, Dr. Truskinovsky and colleagues found in another study. “Caregiving arrangements are very fragile,” she noted. While families often patch together paid and unpaid care, “it’s unstable, and if one thing falls through, your whole arrangement falls apart.”…
Caregivers facing disrupted arrangements were more likely to be furloughed or lose their jobs; they also showed far higher rates of depression, anxiety and loneliness than either non-caregivers or caregivers who did not experience disruptions….
Paid family leave… might help workers providing care for the elderly as well. When California adopted paid leave, which took effect in 2004, residency rates at nursing homes declined by about 11 percent, Dr. Wolf of Syracuse and his co-author Kanika Arora found.
Although the study could not establish the reason, Dr. Wolf speculated that “the change in the law induced people to stay on the job, but they took enough time off to keep their parents out of a nursing home.” The authors’ more recent work shows that paid sick leave also helps increase family caregiving.…
After Ms. Guthrie’s parents died, she relocated to Radcliff, Ky., where her sister lives. She found positions at dental practices there but has never matched the compatibility or the salary of the job she left in Florida.
Currently unemployed, Ms. Guthrie has been interviewing for jobs and wondering whether she will ever be able to retire, although she doesn’t regret the sacrifices she made to care for her parents.
“We were a close-knit family and I would do it again,” she said. “But I took a beating, emotionally and financially, and I haven’t really been able to recover.”
[Supports for family caregivers were blocked in the US Senate by 50 Republicans and 2 Democrats (Manchin-West Virginia and Sinema-Arizona.)] #Caregiving #MultipleSclerosis #Depression #newlydiagnosed #MightyTogether #ChronicIllness #Disabilities #Care giving #Disability #Support #myMSstory #myMSstory
Back in the day,
We used to play outside till dawn
Now, we're just another government pawn
Back in the day,
We used to live, laugh & grow
Now, we are forced to work our asses off bro
What is this shit? (mind my language)
Death is a trap to try and get us to submit?
As kids, we couldn't wait to be adults
Now, I reflect and I am like that was truly nuts!
The days when we could cry and be comforted
Childhood turned to adulthood and those days plummeted
Now, we're struggling to make ends meet, Who would have thought, childhood was only a treat
But it's life,
So put away that knife
It is what it is -
God is good, all is his
Better days are ahead
So, go and continue to chase that bread!
#Life #resilience #NeverGiveUp #Suicide #SuicideAwareness #Selfharm #selfharmawareness #strength #courage #bravery #Independence #freedom #freedomwriters #useyourwords #expression #expressyourself #creativity #Deep #deepthinkers #bold #Spirituality #Meditation #Spiritual #calm #Zen #gowiththeflow #liveinthepresent #loa #TheSecret #manifest #manifestation #Positivity #PositiveVibes #GoodVibes #vibes #Energy #YouCanDoIt #Believe #Hope #Care #Empathy #compassion
The more I work with the mentally ill - abused when children #Bipolar , #BPD , #Depression , and more, as a #councillor and one who has these illnesses too, due to obscene #Childhood trauma, of which I’m on the mend thank goodness.
I’m no longer surprised at the horrifying abuse my clients have been subjected to when they were children, leaving them with mental illnesses, Rather, I’m sickened, with a deep sense of fury , lost on how utterly cruel, and evil their parents or family members who perpetrated the abuse are.
The abuse I suffered for years as a small child, leaving me with borderpolar, which I’ve spent years recovering from, I’m no longer angry about, it doesn’t affect me anymore, but I do still have borderpolar
My years of studying, & working on myself, helped me. I learned that healing comes when we let go, and move forward, and this helps my clients.
My point is a serious concern, about HOW is its possible, to prioritise things like #black LIVES MATTER, or #fighting CANCER, or #the WAR ON DRUGS etc, which DO matter, and ARE important subjects, needing attention, , but where’s the headlines, the hype, #help , #Care or #concern for children ( now adults) - who've been #brutally abused? And the circumstances have left them #mentally ILL as a result? And who are mostly #Homeless , #addicts to numb the pain. Who society has thrown away?
It’s overdue, long overdue, to make headlines, hold fundraising events, highlight and educate people on #mental ILLNESS, and DO SOMETHING real to help, , to do your part in the desperately needed love and care, who’ve #suffered HORRENDOUSLY, leaving them sick and thrown away.
It’s Mother’s Day. I feel alienated, blocked from communicating with my oldest daughter. Basically, she’s completely shutting me out. I don’t know what happened, or what I did..Maybe nothing? Maybe something? She’s also not communicating with her Dad. Her husband said that she is suffering from a bad Bile Reflux, it has been making her ill to her stomach for months. It’s making her weak, and it has made her suffer weight loss.(-I knew this. I just hope her doctors can do something before she losses more weight. She’s in a NED currently, so that’s great.)
I just saw a social media post where my daughters are together on a trip to Pittsburg. Ummm, she can’t be that sick to not respond to a text, a want for a phone call, or just a responsive:“hey Mom..”? It’s like my child has ghosted me. I’ve had several people that I was close to in the past, try to push me away, because of their Cancers. I’ve seen it. Is it because they think you can’t possibly know what they are going through? Is it because they want to spare you the pain of their demise, but are actually causing their loved ones a great deal of emotional pain and anguish, by pushing themselves away, by distancing completely.? #MothersDay #BreastCancer #itscomplicated #Grief #Whattodo #Family #PTSD #Havemyownissues #Care #Depression