Back Pain

The theme was scrambled eggs. I made double cheese for pauley and for myself I made cheesy garlic ranch sausage scrambled eggs. I diced up a cheddar brat, added some shredded cheese, and when it was done cooking I added some ranch dressing and garlic Parmesan seasoning. Gosh gee it was really good. And pauley said her eggs were really yummy. Now she's washing dishes while I sit cuz umm... I had to stand for about 20 minutes. And my back pain spiked to 8. Whoops. She was kinda upset with me for making dinner and getting hurt. I think maybe we should get tray tables so I can sit in the kitchen and make dinner. But she gave me a whole Norco and 2 aspirin. We're getting a refill on Monday.

I've been having really uncomfortable hot flashes for months. I know it's man-o-pause but it sucks. I was hoping going back on testosterone would help. It's been almost 2 months and I'm still having trouble. But my voice is changing again. I've got squeaky boy voice. And my facial hair is growing faster. But not how I want. I was hoping for a mustache. Or a goatee.

I really need to get a BBQ grill lighter. I've got a few small jar candles that smell amazing but I can't light them. One of them is mahogany and leather and coffee scent. I cannot put into words how much I love that candle.

My mom has my daughter today so she won't answer my call or text me back. It's been awhile since we last talked. My phone said the last time we talked was December 31st. She was kinda awful and I hung up on her. I've texted her a few times this week but she said she is busy. I know I should cut ties and be done with my family cuz they don't accept me. But I still care about them.

I'm craving a cookie with my coffee.

2 years ago I thought maybe with the back surgery, I would be done with the bad pain and trouble walking and standing. I thought gosh can I please finally be healthy... Now I'm dealing with new back problems from my tailbone to the first vertebrae under my skull. And my eyes are so broken. So much is going on with my eyes. I have an appointment with one of the providers tomorrow to discuss the X-ray results. Then I have an appointment with my neurologist next week. Then I have an appointment next month with my neuro-ophthalmologist . And my BHH nurse is freaking out about my HR being too high and she wants me to go see my cardiologist. And I'm having trouble scheduling my appointment with the new Endo. And I gotta find a pain management clinic soon. I'm really sick of being broken. Whatever I did to piss off the gods...

#thegodsmustbemad #BackPain #FemoralAcetabularImpingement #spinalbonespurs

I went to the dollar store before my appointment. I got monster rehab strawberry lemonade, a bag of butter flavored puff corn, and a little bag of dill pickle flavored cashews.

I only sat in the waiting room for 2 minutes. We took my vitals and it wasn't good. I've gained weight. And my heart rate and pulse were really high. She checked my HR probably 5 times. She wants me to make an appointment with my cardiologist. She thinks the losartan is not good enough. I'm so used to my HR being high. But apparently the last reading was 139/98.

I shared my puff corn with Pauley. I get a bag every 3 months when I have my injection appointment. It's a reward for being a proactive rockstar with my mental health. It's a really nice treat.

Now she's taking a nap while I sit on the couch. I'm listening to music on my headphones. I feel pretty ok. I know my mental health will be fine by tonight. I took a 100mg tramadol and a sumatriptan and 2 aspirin before I left for my appointment. My back hurts a little but not as bad as earlier.

I talked with my nurse about how pauley needs to join the psych office program for people without insurance.

The puff corn is sugar free so I don't feel so guilty for eating the whole bag. They're so yummy!

#Psychmeds #BackPain

I'm starting to get a migraine again. My tummy really hurts. And my scalp is so itchy. I keep scratching my head and removing big scabs and scales. I'm pretty sure it's bleeding. My anxiety is high.

In other news I just ordered 3 new flavors of coffee. Blueberry crumble, gingerbread, and pumpkin spice. They'll go perfectly with the caramel butterscotch syrup. I just made a pot of butterscotch caramel coffee and it smells sooooooo good. I'm gonna mix it with white chocolate toffee flavored cappuccino powder, caramel syrup and oat milk. It's gonna be awesome!#ChronicPain #BackPain #Migraine #coffeeadventures

Woke up with a migraine again. And my back is trashed. Pauley just gave me a half of a Norco and 2 aspirin and I took a sumatriptan. I'm just hoping it helps cuz I feel awful. I'm gonna take some hydroxyzine and try to meditate.

#Migraine #BackPain