Bursitis

This is my Crimson Sunbird picture #Nature #Art #colouredpencils

#GiantCellArteritis #cerebralaterialvenousmalformation #Bipolar #Fibro #Osteoporosis #spondylitis #disbetes #IgAdeficiency #cognitiveimpairment #IBS #Asthma #COPD #ChronicPain #Bursitis #spinalwedgefractures

If I didn’t have my art I’d be lost! I’m mainly housebound and my art is my lifeline!

When my husband and I married 9 years ago we took those vows without hesitation and with joy. He had full knowledge of my fibromyalgia and degenerative disc disease but at that time I was still functioning pretty well on a daily basis. Since then I have had both shoulders repaired TWICE! I had two torn tendons repaired in my right hip and all the bursitis cleaned out of it and could not walk for 3 weeks. I had 2 back surgeries, first for a spinal pain stimulator implant and then two titanium spacers at L3/4 and L4/5. Next month I will have another back surgery to replace the old stimulator. The icing on the cake is I have ADVANCED DRY MACULAR DEGENERATION which means I am basically leagaly blind. I’m no longer allowed to drive in my state. My point is while I think my husband fully meant his vows on that day 9 short years ago I think his patience is wearing thin. Now we have been through health scares with him too. He went through a cancer scare last year and treatment but Praise God he is all clear! It just seems like evertime I open my mouth he snaps at me lately. We really have NO INTIMACY anymore and while I THINK he loves me I’ve just really started to question if he LIKES me or likes being around me. I feel like I’ve become an obligation and a burden.
I have ABSOLUTELY NO ONE TO TALK TO!#solonley

Ten months after first asking my primary doctor for a rheumatology referral, I finally had an appointment with one yesterday. It didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I have a lot of different symptoms and pain in every area of my body. I have seen a neurologist, gastroenterologist, and orthopedist. I do have tendon tears that are causing pain, but it doesn’t account for most of my symptoms. My ortho and physical therapist think there might be a systemic tendon issue. My doctors ruled out many things with lots of tests. They only want to cover up symptoms, so I was persistent for an answer and finally got a referral to a rheumatologist. Unfortunately, he was pretty dismissive. He said he read my medical records from my primary care, he asked me questions, and he gave me a physical exam. He asked if I had a prostate exam (I am a transgender man) and didn’t know most of my current diagnoses. I also realized later that he didn’t ask me about my cognitive symptoms or check anything but the areas I already know there are tears and push on a few of my vertebrae. I asked about pain management because I am allergic to corn and derivatives which are in most pharmaceuticals. He didn’t know anything about compounding medications or herbal supplements. He recommended physical therapy and to “figure out what works for you.” At the end of the appointment he said he was ordering 4 blood tests. Repeating the 2 inflammatory markers my doctor has tested a few times and were normal, a different RA test, and one to check for muscle degeneration. He said that if those come back normal than I don’t need to follow up with him. He said to follow up with my ortho because my pain is likely due to injuries and micro traumas. And to see an endocrinologist, even though I already had a lot of hormones checked with my primary and doctor who prescribes my testosterone. And to continue with the heart monitor I’m wearing this week and the cardiologist because I could have postural tachycardia. I was nervous and felt pressured to say that plan was fine.

I got the blood work results via the lab’s app today and they were all normal. I am so upset. The doctor said someone would call me with the results. I am not a doctor, but I know there are other tests, blood and otherwise, that can be done to further investigate my symptoms. I’ve been researching my symptoms and connective tissue diseases for over a year. I feel like most medical professionals don’t care enough to dig deep into what’s going on and just pass me off to others or give me meds for symptoms.

I don’t know what to do. Do I tell the person who calls from the doctor’s that I want to follow up anyway and ask the rheumatologist for more testing? Do I go back to the ortho and have him check all of my joints, back, neck, hands and feet? Do I ask my primary for another referral to a different rheumatologist, when she didn’t even want to refer me in the first place? The original referral said “low suspicion of rheumatic cause, patient requested eval.” I don’t know.

I am just so exhausted, feel defeated, and want to give up.

#Undiagnosed #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #CPTSD #Depression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #AvoidantPersonalityDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #CarpalTunnelSyndrome #TriggerFinger #Bursitis #Tendinitis #rotatorcufftears #labraltears #sciatica #Migraine #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #SleepApnea #Asthma #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Allergies #Folliculitis

My niece died last Monday night. She had been fighting Leukaemia. One minute she seemed to be okay. The next, on end of life care! And boom! She is dead! It happened so quickly in the end!
I am a coloured pencil artist. When her brother, my nephew died, I drew! I kinda zoned out and was drawing and listening to music. I can’t draw at the moment. I have been diagnosed with bursitis in my right shoulder. I have to rest it or I’ll make it worse!
I want to support my sister, brother in law, my surviving niece, my deceased nieces husband and children! My sisters grandkids! I can’t even support myself!!
I have several disabilities and disorders. They’ve been coming thick and fast since I turned forty! I spend most of my time drawing. I have no friends. They all disappeared when I was diagnosed with bipolar! Fairweathered friends! That’s all they turned out to be in the end! I just feel so alone!
I thought I’d show you some of my artwork. After depressing everyone with my post. I thought I’d put something uplifting on! My niece liked my art. She didn’t say a lot. She was very much like her dad in that respect! 🫶

I was told that I should come and say hello. My name is Tavia, short version of Octavia. I am married. I live in bed ( if you can call that living..) due to the pain of several chronic pain conditions /injuries from a serious car accident I was in 23 years ago. I am now in my 50s. I deal with a lot of loneliness and isolation and some depression about losing my life and most of the people I cared about to an existence in pain.

#EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #AnkylosingSpondylitis #SpinalStenosis #ChronicMigraines #sciatica #Bursitis #Nervedamage #cervicalfusion #cervicaldiscectomy #spinalbonespurs #Hypothyroidism #PeripheralNeuropathy #numbness #Insomnia