beyourownhero

I've always had high functioning autism and masked it well, but sometimes I don't FEEL high functioning and thats ok. I've been masking my autism so well for 17 years, infact I have a extremely hard time taking it off, professionally or at home. Some days I can smile and laugh, catch on pretty quick on jokes, and have a decent filter. Other days I have to think slowly, wake up slowly and have little filter. Please remember its hard on us more somedays. Not everyone who has high functioning autism feels high functioning, some of us just had our flaws pointed out more often than our achievements. Even when I was in school I felt like I was clawing my way out of a well with no equipment I knew I HAD to graduate, for MYSELF. I did it! I impressed MYSELF and thats the best gift I could ask for. Keep pushing through it, I promise you will get through it and it will be worth a party. Autistic individuals CAN achieve it! Just 1 step at a time <3 love="" ya="" -hjhtheartist="" #highfunctioningautism #Autistic #insideautism #StayStrong #supporteachother #imgonnabeme #TakeOfftheMask #beyourownhero #impressyourself #goalreaching #justbeyou #AutismAwareness #keeplookingatyourgoal

Last night as I lay in bed sick and in pain thinking and praying about it all, I was hit by the fact that I've been through hell and back and it’s a wonder I’m still living, yet I'm still standing and fighting every day to maintain what I can. Is my fight any less heroic than the ones we always hear about of how people fight through something and come back? I'm not coming back from my illnesses. It's been twenty-seven years. Still I fight every day for the most minuscule accomplishments. They're not even things that would be measured unless you've been where I am. Does that mean I'm not just as tough, resilient, and mentally strong as those who have tangible, physical results to show for their efforts? I would sincerely challenge anyone to live a year like I do before answering. When I was still dancing, I would challenge any other athlete to keep up. It is similar with this debility. I am a warrior! I need to frequently remind myself of that.

I thought reaching out to people was a coping mechanism. I actually helped and made me feel better until i realized that i was becoming too dependent on people and always looking out for someone new to talk to and make me feel better. Somewhere in the process i have lost that confidence in myself to be my own savior. To treat myself better. To not think of myself as a miserable creature. To know that i can. and I can be on my own too. #beyourownhero