Why are we allowed to talk about the babysitter but not our own mother? Why are we allowed to talk about men's abuse but not abuse by women?
Why do we try and avoid the unavoidable?
So over the last year I've got back 100's of new memories from 0-8years, of horrific ritualistic abuse I suffered at the hands of a ring of very rich/powerful people.
When I got memories back that involved other children and murders, I went to the police.
They were not willing to give me any protection, so I moved county and changed my name to protect myself (there is a lot more to that story) I won't go into it apart from to say I lost a Lot of faith in the lead investigating officer and it involved months of waiting to be interviewed!
Now in a new place I spoke to the officer I will be interviewed by for the first time today, I meet her for a pre-interview Monday and will go in for the first day of recording my statement a few days after.. (a process that took months under another police force)
It will likely take 2-3 maybe more separate interviews, each lasting 4-5hours.
I waited months and that felt like hell, now it all seems super quick.
I'm worried though I've done all I can to build a new support network in a new city in lockdown, that maybe I haven't done enough?
I'm very aware of the fact my life long friends and few bits of family are 100's if miles away.
That means that No one who is familiar with my mental health or knows what I need at my worst times is going to be in human reach... This worries me.
I live in a hostel so I can't even have anyone in my room, which means I can't invite and old friend to stay.
Whooaa it's just all alot right now!
I keep worrying, down to even the stupid things like I've got nothing smart to wear and this footage will be what the dury sees as my evidence.
I don't want to look shappy. But I only have like 6 bits of clothes here.
I know I shouldn't be the one being judged, I'm not the one on trial.
But humans prejudge without even meaning to.
I know when it comes to court his lawyers will run me over the coals, a rip into me about prior mental episodes.
My only friends down here just went out for a drive with another one of their mates, I was clearly not invited.
Even though both people have said they will be there for me through this.
I feel soo isolated today I could cry, yet I can't seem to form tears..
I can't think of anything I could focus on that would ease my pain in this moment, I just hang on to the truth that this like any other is just a moment in time and thus will pass..
I repeat the mantra 'fear is just a thought and any thought can be changed'
Deep breaths, as I take on the biggest challenge of my lifetime!
I Can and Will speak the horrific truths of my childhood, in hope to safe guard other children in the future!!
Justice is the aim!
I have very little faith in the system but I won't let my lack of belief in the transparency of the criminal justice system deter me from coming forward and saying my piece.
I survived the Most horrific torture, sexual abuse, being a witness to murders.
I WILL SURVIVE THIS!!
I WILL NOT BE SILENCED.
#speakout #Stronger #warrior
That way when you look at an object or a picture or anything at all that makes you notice something there is either different from all the rest so stands out or something is missing....thats what I feel when I took this photo....
Is it beautiful because its the one part that stands out or is it an unknown feeling because it is out of place ....
Not sure if any of this is even getting my point across but its the way my head is going tonight ....
I think it is stunning and love the fact it stands out....
#youmatter #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #CheckInWithMe #Endometriosis #Insomnia
#StandOut #speakout #DailyReminder #YouAreBeautiful
Being kind to someone costs nothing ...It really could be an important moment to someone more than you even understand.....Now more than ever far too many people are feeling alone and as though they have to suffer in silence and by themselves....That should never be happening or acceptable..
I want to be the person who is able to help someone feel valued today and less alone ♡♡
#youmatter #MentalHealth #mighties #Endometriosis #Anxiety #Depression #CheckInWithMe #lonely #Bekind #ItsOkNotToBeOk #speakout
So today I had put a post earlier and wasn't feeling too positive, I use this platform and community as my go to on my good and bad days and even the dreadful....Today really has shown me that the kindness and support from Mighties from all over the world (my post received a comment from South africa) really hit home that this community is absolutely AWESOME !!!!♡ at a time where most social media platforms can cause upset,hurt and be a very unpleasant place at moments for people this shows that this one is the complete opposite. It is a total place for kindness, support,encouragement and love from everywhere and I am overwhelmed and proud to be a part of it .....♡♡
This is a bubble I am more than happy and privileged to be part of ♡
#youmatter #CheckInWithMe #Endometriosis #Insomnia #Anxiety #Depression #Bekind #speakout #mighties #MentalHealth
We all spend too much time putting ourselves down,judging ourselves, scrutinising every little detail about what we dislike and wish was different about ourselves and thats not what we need!its much easier said than done to stop it however a small step in the right direction to try is better than nothing at all .....
Let's all try and talk about ourselves...
Something even one thi g we love about ourselves or that we love to do or our favourite memories....
Let's make today a good day by talking about the nice and good things even if just for a few minutes or hours .....
#Bekind #youmatter #Anxiety #Anxiety #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #CheckInWithMe #Endometriosis #Pain #speakout #lonely #youareimportant
I felt ashamed about my abuse for a long time. Friends and family would silence me. Of course they thought they were helping and not everyone needs to know your story. But people should understand the consequences of what you've been through and you shouldn't have to suffer in silence.
#AskForHelp #Healing
#MentalHealth #BeBrave
Narcissism needs to be spoken about on a wider scale. Mental health is just as important as physical health - so why are people suffering in silence? Could you tell a close friend about your experiences of abuse? Who was the first person you told? Would you tell your neighbour? Your teacher? Do you write about your experiences of abuse? What forms of selfcare have benefited your healing process? Speak up and get talking - and let's speak about abuse together.
#NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #speakout #writer #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #DomesticAbuse #PsychologicalAbuse #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #Narcissiticabuse #Recovery #Healing #Selfcare #Selflove #selfawareness #selfreflection #Awareness
www.yourinnersherlock.com/post/a-villain-disguised-as-a-hero...
The abuse cycle explained.
- b.w.
#narcissist #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #Narcissiticabuse #Healing #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #Recovery #writer #Awareness #DomesticAbuse #DomesticViolence #Gaslighting #RedFlags #Warningsigns #speakout #abusecycle
www.yourinnersherlock.com/post/what-are-red-flags-trust-your...
This is an article I wrote about Red Flags 🚩
Very important to take note of the key questions asked here in this article. I hope this article is helpful and informative.
- b.w.
#narcissism #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #narcissist #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #writer #Healing #DomesticAbuse #RedFlags #DomesticViolence #PsychologicalAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Gaslighting #Warningsigns #speakout #Recovery
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