bodymemories

It’s really hard having these memories. My first impulse is to try to ignore it, squish it down. My second is to study it, to try to remember more and learn more, figure out more of what happened, but then you get lost in it and don’t know if you’re remembering more or if your brain is just trying to make sense and jumping to conclusions. And the adrenaline starts going, and the body sensations and the pain in the pelvis, and the blood is rushing from your face down to your stomach and you start shaking and you’re cold but your blood is on fire and you’re fully in your body but jumping out of your skin. And it all happens so fast you feel like you’re losing your mind and then suddenly your whole body convulses and you’re back in the present and you’re dazed and confused by how so much can happen so fast. And then in an instant your adrenaline lets you down and you start to cry.
#Flashbacks #CPTSD #PTSD #Repressed Memory #bodymemories

I’ve been avoiding it since before Covid. Well I went once for a specific issue, but didn’t let her examine me at all. Only went because I have been having what feels like almost constant #bodymemories for a week or so. Didn’t let her do the whole exam just the check for infections and the top (torso) part of the exam. Yuck. 😶

I have been working on processing and accepting repressed memories (as well as more recent events) for a year and a half now. I originally started working with a therapist because of a divorce, marriage ended with traumatic events which led to #PTSD . Once I began sharing these events, I was bombarded with many repressed memories regarding severe childhood sexual trauma. This ultimately resulted in beginning to deal with things like #Flashbacks #Dissasociation and #bodymemories . I have been having a very difficult time managing the body memories recently. Majority of the time they are there and either lead to a flashback or full-blown dissociation. Anyone have any techniques (grounding or otherwise) they would recommend? Getting really discouraged 😞

Living with PTSD means knowing that you are living with a mental illness that affects your life in many ways - but not knowing from one day to the next which symptoms are going to flare.

It's tiring to manage and it takes a lot of practice and fluidity during times when all you want is a little bit of fucking control.

#Depression#Anxiety#Insomnia#Flashbacks #bodymemories #anger#Trauma#ChildhoodSexualAbuse #MightyTogether#CheckInWithMe#CPTSD#Healing#reallife