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Comment on one of my posts is triggering

Its taking everything I have to not respond and my response wouldn't be so kind.

Something that upsets me is unthoughtful, comments preaching ones religion. I find them rude and completely lacking empathy. I'm all for one finding hope in religion but when I'm basically saying my condition kept me from sleeping - I was in pain all fn night! I don't need a religious nut preaching their religious beliefs in the comments of my post. It's thoughtless and shows absolutely no compassion or empathy for what I'm going through in that moment. I find it disrespectful.

If you're religious good for you, keep believing. I hope you find comfort there. But unless you know someone personally and know they have the same beliefs as you, or they're speaking about it in their posts, please don't preach it in the comments of a random strangers posts... We're not at church.

Every single comment this member makes on any post is preaching her religion. I can't block her because she hasn't made an actual post just commenting.

Just my opinion. I didn't come to this site to be preached to. I didn't come here to find spiritual advice from a stranger. I didn't come here to push my beliefs on anyone else.

I wish we had control of comments on our posts to remove them and block the person. My beliefs are no ones business, and someone else's beliefs have absolutely no interest to me.

#triggers #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome

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be aware 🍵

What kind of triggers do you think you have?
And do you see yourself in what you might still need to heal from according to the triggers below?

I do.
And I find it very helpful to find simple lists like this one because it gives me way to reflect and maybe understand better what may be going on inside of me.

Since I have BPD I see myself in a lot of the situations below and I'm working on it by trying to pay attention to myself and what's surrounding me.

For example, I realized that any time I meet a member of my family I get very nervous and I am way more exposed to random triggers than usual.
So now I have my new task: pay more attention then usual to myself anytime I meet someone of them. I know I'm going to be nervous and probably get triggered by something. Then eventually I can see my emotions arise and I'm prepared to see their effects coming.

Do you have ways you're trying to handle your reactions to triggers with? Let me know!

A hug ♥️

#triggers #BPD #DBT #aware

62 reactions 22 comments

The uncomfortable, unwanted battle of your Trauma's.

Is it just me...or do other's feel the older they get, the worse it feels when your traumatic event's replay over and over. Like if you're triggered, it brings up the one.. but that one being triggered, triggers them all? So you're left in this LOUD and fast mess in your head. You see it all, you hear it all and you feel every single one, all over again? When this happens, it brings me into a very low state. I'd say this has been the hardest/longest depressive episode it's put me in. Even experienced new thing's it's had me struggling with that's unfamiliar territory for myself. The sleep deprived state I'm constantly in. The hopelessness consuming me more and more each day that goes by...a month feels like it's been crammed in a day. When you physically feel ill trying to make yourself eat a simple piece of bread because you feel that sick to your stomach by the way you're feeling...just the thought of showering feels like you've ran miles when you haven't even moved yet! Just getting out of bed to use the restroom is exhausting in itself. You crave to sleep just to escape it, yet you can't sleep.

Listen...this battle alone feels unbearable. But when I reach out to anyone outside my trauma therapists office (family/friends) I get shamed for even trying. I'm avoided, cut off, told to toughen up, told it could be worse, to be more grateful, you sound selfish or the famous one "I'll call you back" but no one does? So many can know I'm not doing well & won't even check in...ask if I'm doing alright or if they can simply listen to what I'm feeling. I understand it can make other's feel anxious, from what I'm told "you're giving me anxiety" "you're stressing me out" I do apologize, I do hide it 90% of the time. But when that 10% isn't doable to hide...i feel like i get punished. I get cut the more silence I receive from other's, the louder my thoughts get. So now 1 triggered trauma.. triggered more traumas that triggered you to search for help/support, because you are overwhelmed, scared, hurt, lost, confused..but now you're feeling guilty, angry, unheard, abandoned and hopeless while you're stuck isolating yourself?

What does one do in a situation that's now lasted a month, making you feel like your traumatic memories are eating you alive inside with every feeling flooding in all at once until that numbness kicks in.. but it doesn't stick.. it repeats... turns into feeling like you suddenly can't breath...

The disappointment & sadness of trying to reach out but facing more judgment, more turned back's or my favorite "it'll pass" yes, it'll pass... but I'm not sure why..but while it's happening..I'm to do it alone? That feels like all I've known. Shouldn't I be use to it? Why would it feel harder to ignore?

I understand it's my Trauma's!! It's my battles. It's my mental illnesses!! But why is it so hard to be heard. Why can't a simple hug be offered? Why can't a listening ear be mutual? I'm a helper at heart. I love helping decode people's problem's. Heck...I'll drown myself with other's issue's and fix them before my own (working on that) but regardless of anything...I will always always listen. I will always answer. I will always check in. Why am I not worth the same? Why do I feel like suffering is all I know? How do I kick this dark place I'm in if I can't even find a slight bit of motivation? I didn't ask for this. I truly don't believe anyone does... but I feel like the one's that are suppose to be there are making it seem like I wanted to put myself in this problem. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing... the meds, the therapy. Yes...I understand I need to try more coping mechanisms but sometimes when you hit that burnout... that it's self feels so difficult to even slightly focus on because the several thoughts and emotions are so active, that it's extremely difficult to be able to focus on them coping mechanisms. For me... it's like I should be trying to study in a crazy loud active concert or trying to eat the messiest food while on rollercoaster ride while trying not to get a single drop on your white shirt.

Sometimes people just want to feel like they matter. That their struggles are noticed and that a listening ear is available. Sometimes that's all someone needs is to be heard. To be loved, while they struggle to love themselves in that moment!!

Just a reminder, to be kind. To just listen. To put the judgment aside. Don't try and add more rubble onto the rubble someone is trying to climb out of already. Offer a helping hand instead. Cause some never make it out when the weight of it becomes to much to bare.

#MentalHealth #triggers #Bekind

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The smallest thing… #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trauma #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Loneliness #Selfharm #triggers

I realize that I do ruminate. I’ve been in therapy for over 2 years. My Counsellor is great. She has taught me how to ground myself when things get to be too much. It doesn’t work lately. When I go to therapy, the things I learn, or have learned made me understand myself more. But the smallest things set my emotions in motion. The smallest thing can affect me now. Words, objects, movies, music, relationships, …my mind plays that tape over and over again. It really sucks,!because I start to think of self-harm, thoughts of suicide. My husband is being distant. It puts things in perspective, I have been like this for our 20 years together…what is he feeling. I feel selfish. I’m a horrible wife, he’s been there for me unconditionally. I want to do better, but how do I do that when those damn tapes play and play in my head. I hate myself so much. I am a selfish burden. I hate this…whatever.

9 reactions 5 comments

Triggers, pet peeve responses, and being overwhelmed | TW swearing, family

For my mental health sake, I sincerely ask if you could please censor c*v*d-19 (o, i) or the other words, p*nd*mic (a, e), and q**rantine (ua) or leave them out entirely before posting any comments. Thank you, you’re the best!
Before I say anything, I just want everybody to know that I am not intending to be/sound rude when I say any of this.

Saying that “well, *trigger word* is not going to go away” or “it is what it is” are the least helpful things you can say to someone with triggers, because to me, it feels like you’re saying “welp, you’re screwed for the rest of your life” and for the latter “I simply don’t care”, even if you’re not intending to sound that way.

Yes, I still have these words as my triggers everyday. It still brings me flashbacks whenever I fucking hear any of the words and how much of a sad life I’m still in (and I already have mostly negative views about society) because I unintentionally drag myself into that very sad period of 2020 and beyond.

I’m trying to work this over with my therapist, but I haven’t because there’s a thousand things that happen with me and are on my fucking mind everyday, and if not everyday, then most days (traumatic flashbacks, being overstimulated by youngest nephew constantly, stress dreams, trying to make time for all 7 of my queerplatonic partners (yes, it’s healthy, non-romantic, and consensual) and trying to be perfect around them all the time (I should probably stop doing that), waiting to move out of here already into a more safer and quieter environment, extreme social dysphoria as a non-binary individual, etc. etc.)

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #Trauma #Anxiety #triggers #normalizetriggerwarnings #overstimulated #overwhelmed #triggerwarning #venting #LGBTQIA #MentalHealth

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Working on this one 🥺😢🌸🌈❤️

Tough times lately either really good days or really bad days and it’s tough fighting your head and body everyday

Finding a balance each day

Appreciate any positive vibes or prayers etc my way! :( and I’ll do the same for you! #Anxiety #struggling #Gooddays #Baddays #Selflove #tough #IntrusiveThoughts #racingthoughts #Trying #triggers #Shame #PTSD #MightyTogether #Tryinghard #tough #sucks #sad #Hope #Depression #SocialAnxiety #BPD #MentalHealth

32 reactions 10 comments

I learned this from my #MentalHealth zoom groups. They use the word #stressors instead if #triggers because that word can maybe be missused wronged and maybe when you talk to people it may make people uncomfortable that they are making you triggered. I think it's more a word we may use for outself. A personily thing. I hope no one will be ofended by my opinion. I think i kind of like the word stressor because everyone feels stress and it kind of fits me better and i feel more comfortable using it.

I kind of always thought #triggers were meant for people that have more serious things in life that happened. IDK. Just what i have been thinking about. #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MentalHealth


The Truth About (My) Suicide.

I am a survivor of #Suicide . I live with the guilt every. damn. day. So why tell my story now? I want to feel liberated. I want to #EndTheStigma . And I want people to know why and how and when. So that maybe they can see the signs or the #triggers for someone they love who might be struggling.

This is me. This is my story. And this is me at my most vulnerable.

First, an introduction. I’m a 36-year-old, former PR pro turned #sahm and housewife. I struggle with #Depression and extreme #Anxiety . I’m #neurodivergent , you’ll quickly come to realize just how #ADHD I really am, and I’ve recently been diagnosed with #borderlinepersonality disorder.

So that's me. Definitely not a princess and I don't wear a cape. I'm still hopeful for a happily ever after, though.

And now, some context.

It's important to understand that I've felt unlovable all of my life. Growing up in a traumatic home and seeing more hate than love had its toll on me. And being emotionally abused and neglected as a child and having it continued through my adulthood continually makes me feel unworthy of love. Despite my efforts to be the best daughter I can possibly be, I get constant reminders of my selfishness. My unhelpfulness. My failures. It's just facts. I'm in therapy, don't worry.

It wasn't until I met my husband at 19 years old that I experienced unconditional love from someone other than my brother, my grandparents (RIP), and my pets. To this day, I still don't believe it or understand it. I'm hard to love and I don't grasp how someone can love all of me - with everything that comes with me. Skeletons and all. I still don't love myself. I'm in therapy, don't worry ;-)

Ok, now for the story.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: depression, suicide, self-harm, self-hate.

It was the morning of Monday, November 18, 2019. I had suffered a weeklong streak of migraines and hadn't left our bed in almost as long. I was depressed, and I was well off meds because I couldn't keep food or water down. I was exhausted and hopeless. At the time, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, #Insomnia , and ADHD. I was in a complete state of psychosis. I had no idea and neither did my husband.

In the most loving way possible, my husband was over my sickness and depression. He'd been single parenting our 4-year-old for over a week, and he needed his wife back. We fought. About what, I can't remember. It doesn't matter but whatever it was sent me into a downward spiral I couldn't climb out of.

This is where everything gets foggy, or completely dark. My mind has blocked most if not all of the rest.

Like a zombie (or so I'm told), I got out of bed, threw on some scrubby clothes, got my son dressed and fed, and walked him over to the neighbor's house for childcare that day. I don't remember any of that part, at all. My hubby said my face was blank and my eyes were vacant.

In my brain, the wheels were already turning. This was a feeling I was intimately familiar with. My comfort blanket. How many different ways could I imagine dying this time? If only I could just disappear and not come back. It would be so easy. So simple. No one would miss me. I'm a burden to so many. They're basically living without me already.

After dropping my son off at daycare, I returned to bed. Hubby had more words with me before leaving for work. After he was gone, I googled, "How much Xanax does it take to kill yourself?" and "Can you die from too many muscle relaxers?"

Five minutes later, I swallowed my entire prescription: 30 tablets of 2mg #Xanax .

As a topper, I also poured 15 muscle relaxers down my throat, left over from my car accident in early April. Or was it from my wisdom tooth removal? So many procedures and pain meds and illicit prescriptions to choose from. I then ditched the bottles to make it harder for the EMTs to identify what I'd taken. I'd planned this meticulously in my mind for years.

I sat forward and said my goodbyes to the dogs. The longest goodbye and cries for Duke, of course. Kisses for Cooper; he couldn't understand what was happening, but Duke was completely aware. Duke jumped on the bed and put his head in my lap. I cried as I said my goodbyes out loud to my son (as if he could hear me from afar), reassuring him that his life would be full of joy and accomplishments without the burden of his overweight, depressed, mess of a mom. I'd be there in spirit, I said. Watching him succeed and rooting him on, always. I cried and wished that my husband would find new love and hope. That all his dreams and wishes would come true. That life would be good for him because he is an amazing man that deserves the world.

I drifted off.

When I awoke two days later I was hooked up to machines from my neck and both wrists. My husband was right by my side and my brother came into view.

I remember thinking, "Fuck, how the FUCK am I still here?!"

So here's what I'm told.

After hubby left for work, he ran a few errands close to home. Before getting on the freeway, however, he got a *weird feeling* in his gut and decided to backtrack home to check on me before heading into Seattle for work. Thank god he did. He saved my life and he will forever be my hero.

When my husband arrived home, he called out for me. Nothing.

He found me upstairs, unconscious and blue in the face. I was halfway fallen off the bed.

He called 911 and immediately started CPR at the operator's direction.

It was six long minutes before paramedics arrived.

They couldn't identify what I'd taken and were unsure if Narcan should be used for overdose.

My heart had stopped. I wasn't breathing.

It took nearly 8 minutes for them to get a heartbeat.

With a faint heartbeat, I was quickly transferred to the ambulance and rushed to NW Hospital in North Seattle. After life-saving measures were taken, I'm told that doctors placed me in an induced coma to allow my organs to heal and regain strength after shutting down. I was on a ventilator to support my lungs, and another machine to pump my heart. Once the doctors took me out of the coma, they slowly removed me from the heart machine as I grew stronger. The ventilator came next. I finally awoke.

What's happened next? You'll have to follow my next posts to read more.

#MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealth #SuicidePrevention #depressionsucks

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