I’ve had lifelong anxiety ever since I started living on earth. I inherited anxiety from my mom, which grew worse with my Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, thanks to being born three months premature in the late 1980’s, before all of the current methods, medicine and technology were invented; which slowly turned into Social Anxiety from my many experiences of rejection. I know very well the icy cold feeling that spreads throughout the body, even though I have to remind myself sometimes that the perpetually cold feeling inside myself is from the COPD, from getting both of my lungs burned with oxygen to keep me alive, not from fear. Because of my prematurity, I was a quiet, old soul, and so seen as different and worthy of getting socially rejected. It wasn’t just the kids I faced rejection from, it was also everyday people in the grocery stores and restaurant managers, when I’d wear an oxygen cannula to breathe with. Ironically enough, I was treated as a monster with a contagious disease around the same time the Americans with Disabilities Act was signed, allowing people with disabilities to not be discriminated in a job, because of their disabilities. While other kids ran around outside, I was stuck inside, watching movies and TV shows. While other kids went to Little Leagues and Ballet classes, I went to Occupational Therapy for learning how to cope with loud sounds, that are muffled to everyone else, and Speech Therapy, to get over my speech impediment, thanks to the tongue tie, I inherited from my dad. I also took the scenic route, when it came to developing, because of my three month prematurity and first nine months in the hospital. I later found out that I had also inherited my dad’s ADD, a mild form of ADHD, and the little-known Dyscalculia, which meant organization, follow-through and math were my weakest areas. I also got enlarged tonsils from my dad, which meant I got sick a lot during my childhood, until my tonsils were finally removed. This, combined with living in a high altitude environment in the mountains, meant I grew up in a very sheltered, low-key environment, and would get so worn out from an eight hour school day, that I would have to take three hour naps to feel rested enough to do the small hill of homework given to me, which included what I didn’t complete in school and whatever the teachers would include with the students. Anyone would feel depressed every once in a while, if they were forced to live this kind of life. Once I moved across states, my physical health greatly improved, and there wasn’t as much academic demands or discrimination in my new school, as there had previously been. I also got assistance #firstpost , #mental illness confession, #MentalHealth , #Recovery , #Prematurity , #reallife , #Anxiety , #SocialAnxiety , #AvoidantPersonalityDisorder , #PanicAttacks , #CPTSD , #Flashbacks , #COPD , #ADHD , #Depression , #CheckInWithMe , #TheMighty . from a wonderful, resource room teacher. I graduated high school at the top fifth of my class, graduated college with a bachelor’s degree in English, graduated from the same university with a master’s degree in Special Education, and just passed all three teaching certificate tests! I’ve als
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