Ranting with my chin up: Being sick is confusing and frustrating as heck.
So it looks like I had a very classic seizure at 3AM on Christmas morning.
Ok.
That's actually not much of a surprise. I'm actually rather used to being told that I *might* be having seizures. I have weird neuro symptoms very often and fall on the floor pretty regularly. I have had a real talent for doing that when nobody is around or everyone is distracted. I'm not around either. I'm unconscious.
I have then been given tests and told I am not having seizures (or the worse things: brain aneurysm, stroke, brain tumor etc.) about a bajillion times. This time was different because my wife saw it happen and was able to describe it. Apparently it looked really identifiable. I don't know. I was unconscious.
We still don't know what is causing me to do this. We have not confirmed the seizure. It's at least a good theory this is a seizure and I have been having them for a while.
Over the years I have been told over and over that various bizzare things are "probably a migrane" or "sometimes people just pass out" or "It's probably dissociation." My mental health is admittedly pretty rough.... I have chronic PTSD and a dissociative disorder. I also accumulated a lot of concussions and other vague things people get when life gets rough. A lot of things about my brain in particular have been seeming about a quarter borked for most of my life now.
This time when I fell on the floor somebody was able to describe what happened and my regular GP doctor is like "Oh! One of those!" Apparently the tests that have been done on me, in the past, don't detect seizures unless one is happening at the time of the test, which one was not. I was usually being tested a good while after whatever was over.
It's not usually practical to test someone during an emergency that happens randomly and lasts minutes, at most. Fair, but nobody told me that these would not actually measure one of the things people said they were supposed to be intentionally looking for. The doctor reading the results just said: "We don't see anything. You are good to go now." That does not fix the symptoms. I have totaled cars doing this stuff, luckilly not going fast. Still! It's not good!
Does this put me on the path to maybe not feeling like a medical mystery any more? I don't feel like counting my chickens yet. I don't really feel like running my wife's description by a GP really counts as a diagnosis. I'm supposed to talk to a neurologyst. I don't know if they are actually going to tell me anything that pertains to the other weird stuff that's going on, or do anything more than just try and decide if I need an anticonvulsant.
We didn't go to the ER on Christmas morning because hospitals are not at their best on hollidays. We didn't want to spend Christmas there anyway, and I was tired of being told I'm not on drugs (I don't need a doctor to tell me that!) and still don't have something that's going to intimately kill me, so: "It's fine. Right? Go home." Apparently the ER staff might have been able to figure some stuff out based on my wife having seen what happened, but we didn't know that at the time. Sooo... I'm probably in for more tests... Hopefully not the kind that don't catch the thing if it doesn't just happen to happen!