Neglect

Hi, my name is UppedFlounder56. I'm here because I'm deeply scarred. My wounds are invisible, caused by a lifetime of CPTSD through neglect and verbal abuse. I feel insignificant. I've been trying to heal and have opened up to my family and close friends. All of them dismissed, minimized, weaponized, and invalidated my experience. I do have my partner, who is very kind but he does not know what to say to help me. I am looking for a deep connection with others who can sit with the pain.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD

The pure blue sky, so clear and full of life
The sky so bright and pure
The birds singing a melody of the morning
The smell of rain from yesterday
The pure blue sky, in the night time
Almost black, no clouds
The air is still, cold, empty
She stairs at the night sky with dark eyes
Her eyes of a shattered mirror
She lays on a field full of dead white roses stained red
A yellow smile of a shattered mirror
The pure blue sky is so dark
Her wings clipped, no longer a song bird for the morning
No longer stuck in such a beautiful cage
That pure blue sky never truly existed
A bird?
No, a flower
A white rose wilted from abuse and neglect
The rose of nothing
Not purity
Not happiness
Not anger
Nor sadness
A broken mirror that reflects that disgusting white rose
The eyes of a child that is not human
The eyes of a child that is no longer human
The eyes of that fake blue sky with that fake yellow smile
Kindness with no honesty
A dirty child
The pure blue sky was never pure nor blue
Those birds were never singing, there wings clipped and them caged
The smell was never of the rain from yesterday but of a metallic smell
The girl never seen the sky she saw nothingness
A world of no color
No child there
A flower of lies

Their voices rise in the stagnant air of a destiny already written

Dismissing my pain as though it were but a fleeting shadow

They erased its worth, leaving it to wither in the hollow of their neglect

And with the collapse of my agony, I too crumbled

Faded into nothingness, lost to the winds of oblivion, as if I had never existed. 🌀

Their voices rise in the stagnant air of a destiny already written

Dismissing my pain as though it were but a fleeting shadow

They erased its worth, leaving it to wither in the hollow of their neglect

And with the collapse of my agony, I too crumbled

Faded into nothingness, lost to the winds of oblivion, as if I had never existed. 🌀

Introduction

There is an immeasurable amount of exhaustion that comes with fighting a battle that nobody else can see. Mental health struggles aren’t visible to the outside word. It’s easy for others to misunderstand, dismiss, or even ignore what you’re going through emotionally. I’ve personally experienced this. Those firsthand moments where I was barely holding myself together. To everyone else, I just seemed “fine.”

Living in an invisible shield can feel isolating. Certain conditions like anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, and bipolar disorder have underlying consequences if left unaware. I have those conditions. It’s difficult that people may not believe you’re struggling simply because they can see it. However, just because something isn’t visible to the naked eye, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t real.

What Are Invisible Mental Health Struggles?

Invisible mental health struggles don’t always have the obvious physical signs of a disorder. Unlike a broken leg or a visible wound, these challenges remain buried beneath the surface. Conditions like mine affect millions of people, yet they often are ignored or unrecognized by those around us.

Just because there is no physical proof of these struggles, many people assume that everything is fine. However deep down to our core, we are anything but fine. Receiving certain comments such as, “you seem happy,” can be very frustrating. Neurodivergents often disregard their mental and emotional inner turmoil, and mask who they truly are deep down.

The Emotional Toll of Masking

One of the most challenging parts of living with internal struggles is acting as if there aren’t any symptoms. Masking is hiding from yourself and trying to appear “normal,” to avoid judgment. I’ve spent my whole life pretending to be okay. I’d smile when I felt like breaking down. I’d laugh during moments that I wanted to cry. I’d push through the mental exhaustion just to avoid awkward and uncomfortable conversations.

Masking is truly draining to the body and soul. It’s like carrying an invisible weight on your shoulders trying to convince everyone, and yourself, that everything is okay. This eventually leads to a burnout, meltdown, increased anxiety, and deeper feelings of isolation and neglect.

Feeling Unseen and Misunderstood

When other people don’t notice your struggles, it’s easy to feel invalidated. Things like, “It’s all in your head,” or “Just be more positive,” can be somewhat detrimental. These phrases, even though well-intended, easily dismiss the reality mental health struggles. It makes it harder to get through each day, and those challenges we face, can feal like a screaming void. A desperate call to be seen and heard but constantly being overlooked.

The Importance of Self-Advocacy

With time, I’ve learned that self-advocacy is vital. We may not be able to control how others see us, but we can take charge of how we communicate our needs. By being honest about your struggles, you can be vulnerable and let others in. Instead of pushing people away, it’s better to be open then bottling it all up inside. This helps people to better understand what it is like for us daily.

Setting boundaries is important. You don’t have to say yes to everything. It’s okay to say no. Something that has taken me a long time to get around. I’ve learned that I can rest when I need to and step away from that things that might be harmful to my well-being. Being in therapy has really helped me, along with some medications. I feel like I’ve finally gotten on track, and I’m hoping to keep it that way. Getting support either through therapy, or friends and family can be life changing. It’s reassuring that I’m not going through this alone.

How Others Can Be More Supportive

It’s important to continue surrounding yourself with people who make you feel safe and comfortable. These are the people who will support you and make you feel more seen and less judged. The best way to go about the situation is to just listen. Not every comment needs an explanation. Just believe them when they are being open about their internal struggles. Check-in with them occasionally, to simply ask, “How are you doing.” A phrase that doesn’t seem like a lot but has so much underlying value. Also, just be patient. The process of healing isn’t linear. Some days will be much more difficult than others.

Educating yourself and staying up to date with the latest research and information is incredibly beneficial for you and your loved one. It fosters awareness and a deeper understanding. It generates new ideas, provides factual guides and examples of similar situations. It helps everyone feel a part of the community, and by being immersed in it. A community that is strong, yet still small. We need more advocates to really stand out amongst the crowd.

Conclusion

These struggles often go unnoticed, but that doesn’t invalid them. We shouldn’t just assume that everyone is okay because they put on a brave face. These struggles matter, and just because you can’t visibly see the pain and suffering, doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. You don’t need anyone’s permission to take care of yourself. Stand tall and be proud of your authenticity. There is no one else in the world like you, and that is something to be uniquely cherished. Together we can create a world where no one must suffer in silence. We just need to raise more awareness and gain more advocates for our cause. Overall, I just want you to know that your feelings are valid, you’re seen, you’re heard, and you’re not broken.

“Just because no one else can heal or do your inner work for you, doesn’t mean you can, should, or need to do it alone.” — Lisa Olivera

#MentalHealth #ADHD #Anxiety #Depression #AutismSpectrumDisorder #struggles

I saw a video recently where two people were talking about this topic and they blamed it solely on drugs, alcohol, smoking and bad choices, this is wrong, and a misunderstanding, It is mainly driven by our struggles with executive dysfunctions that permeate every area of life in a world designed for neurotypicals that have high executive functioning.

I want to talk about a topic that is very close to me. My aunt died in her sixties, aside from other health problems, the circumstance I believe were due to undiagnosed ADHD and lack of support, a lot of misunderstanding and a lot of judgements around her leading to critical isolation and preventable early death.

I made a good friend in the pandemic that I believe also was an undiagnosed ADHD woman in her late forties who died in similar circumstances that could have been prevented and mitigated due to the following 5 issues that ADHD people struggle with.

5 Reasons Why ADHD People Have a Shorter Life Span than Neurotypicals

Studies suggest that individuals with ADHD may have a shorter life expectancy compared to neurotypical individuals, primarily due to increased risks related to accidents, impulsivity, substance abuse, and health complications. Research indicates that:

On average, people with ADHD may live 8 to 13 years less than neurotypical individuals.

A 2019 study by Dr. Russell Barkley found that severe ADHD cases might reduce lifespan by up to 25 years in extreme cases due to poor self-regulation, increased stress, and unhealthy lifestyle choices.

The biggest contributing factors are higher rates of accidental injuries, risk-taking behaviors, obesity, and untreated mental health conditions.

However, proper diagnosis, treatment, and lifestyle changes (such as therapy, medication, exercise, and structured routines) can help mitigate these risks and improve longevity.

Would you like strategies to help improve life expectancy and health outcomes for ADHD?

Why Do ADHD Adults Have a Shorter Lifespan?

1. Executive Dysfunction & Life Management Struggles

Difficulty maintaining a livable environment (clutter, unsafe conditions).

Forgetting to eat properly or drink enough water.

Inconsistent hygiene and self-care routines.

Poor financial management leading to stress and instability.

Forgetting or mismanaging medication, missing doctor appointments.

2. Higher Risk of Accidents & Injuries

Impulsivity increases risk-taking behavior (reckless driving, not wearing seatbelts, unsafe sex, etc.).

Forgetfulness and inattention can lead to accidents, fires, injuries.

Difficulty following through on preventive health care (checkups, screenings,).

3. Chronic Stress, Burnout, & Mental Health Issues

ADHD is often accompanied by anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation.

Difficulty managing stress leads to higher cortisol levels, which contribute to heart disease and other health issues.

Overwhelm and burnout reduce motivation to take care of oneself.

4. Social Isolation & Support Gaps

Struggles with maintaining friendships and relationships.

Lack of a strong support system, which affects mental health.

Social rejection leads to loneliness, which increases mortality risk.

5. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Higher likelihood of using alcohol, smoking, drugs, or food to self-soothe.

Irregular sleep patterns and chronic sleep deprivation (which increases risk of cardiovascular disease, obesity, and diabetes).

Is It Just Poor Choices? No—It’s a Systemic Issue.

It’s not just about making "bad choices"; it’s about living in a world that isn’t designed for ADHD brains. Neurotypical life requires strong executive functioning, which ADHD people struggle with. This leads to constant small failures (missed bills, health neglect, disorganization), which add up over time and take a toll on both physical and mental health.

What Can Help?

Externalized systems: Reminders, alarms, habit trackers, accountability partners.

Simplified self-care: Small, sustainable habits instead of all-or-nothing thinking.

ADHD-friendly financial management: Automated payments, budgeting apps, financial therapy.

Preventative healthcare: Setting appointments in advance, pairing medication with daily habits.

Community & support: Finding ADHD-friendly groups like The Mighty, find an ADHD check in buddy, coaching, therapy, and social connections.

Would you say your struggles fall mostly in one category, or is it a mix of everything?

I have been a disappointment since the day I was conceived

No one wanted a baby

My biological mom had one already

My biological dad never wanted me

He urged her to get rid of me

I don't know him over sixteen years later

I disappointed him.

When I was seven I began to struggle

I wasn't okay

My parents had to put me in therapy

I was a freak

I got worse

When I was ten I was ready to give up on my life

My life that had barely begun

I went to a hospital and we thought I was better

I was so happy

I never wanted to go back

In 2021 I spiraled again

It had been the worst year of my life

I was cutting my body to pieces

Trying to give up on life

Emptying pill bottles

A doctor said I shouldn't have lived

I was sent away again

This time I came home worse than I had left

A hospital full of verbal abuse and neglect

I was taken advantage of by my older roommate

She'll never pay for the harm she's caused

2022 I had my first real relationships

One of them tore me apart

Brown eyes and white lies ruined it

I was emotionally out of control

I tried the pills again

I was sent away three times that year

One of them back-to-back

2023 I thought I'd be okay

2024 made me realize I was wrong

I had the worst heartache of my life

Tyler died

Gavin was gone

My parents and I fought all the time

I hated myself more than ever

I slept with anyone who would tell me I was beautiful

A grown man took my innocence because I was pathetic

I met someone

I made the mistake of trusting him

He ruined me

It was the hardest thing

Taken advantage of again

Twice as bad

My trauma was doubled and handed back to me

When I told people it became too hard

I was sent away again

My friends cried for days

2025 never thought I'd make it this far

I'm worse

I've lost so much including myself

My ability to distinguish past from present

Will I make it?

I'm doubtful but it doesn't mean I'm not trying

Hi, my name is LG13. I'm here because I feel like everything is wrong with me but it’s all on the insides so no one understands. I feel like I have to explain and when I do, it sounds so lame that I'm sure nobody believes me. I feel so guilty every day for what I can’t do. I feel like a bad wife, mother, grandmother and friend because I neglect everything I should be doing for these relationships to last. I just can’t list my health issues right now, it’s just too much. I know there are others that are much worse off than I am. I feel like an imposter.

#MightyTogether