Chronic Vestibular Migraine

Hi all,
I started a new medication this week. It made me really tired, I slept for like 20 hours in one day, and so I emailed my psychiatrist and she told me to take it at night instead.
I’m worried because it’s a class of medication that I haven’t tried before. It’s a tricyclic, an older anti-depressant. I don’t like to take medication that is sedating (and most meds don’t really sedate me anyways). And it also has more side effects than more commonly prescribed antidepressants (SSRIs and SNRIs), which have not helped in the past.
I don’t have depression symptoms but my anxiety is absolutely a mess from trauma. I have felt very hyper aroused. I have a lot of panic attacks and it’s hard for me to organize myself to perform most daily tasks. It’s hard to explain how paralyzed I feel from my panic and trauma symptoms. I get triggered easily.
So we are trying this. I don’t want to feel super sedated all the time so I am hoping it wears off soon. If it doesn’t, I’ll have to talk to my psychiatrist about something else.
Wish me luck, please! Thank you all!

#CheerMeOn #CheckInWithMe #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ChronicVestibularMigraine #Migraine #ADHD

Yesterday was Christmas.
*sigh*
It was mostly really good. I’m going to type that after to decompress.
To vent-
My bf’s brother has very different perspectives than both me and my bf. He has different opinions. And I try hard to be open minded- but he doesn’t. He is intentionally controversial and finds it fun to get under other’s skin. He says stop taking things so seriously and boldly asserts he is more intelligent than most people and has everything figured out (he really says this).
What frustrates me is the differences in our experiences and how he insists that he knows more than everyone. I am not trying to place judgement or blame or anything on him- but he has a really narrow perspective on life and doesn’t respect many differences. He doesn’t have experience nor the desire to leave the circle he has had his entire life. He still lives at home with his mom, works with his dad most weekends, etc. By no means is this to say he is privileged or hasn’t struggled- what I’m trying to get across is that he has never lived on his own or experienced the independence that is necessary to have a deeper understanding of what I have struggled with to have conversations with me where he tells me “how it is.” Or the experiences I have had- where I moved out on my own early and had to become super hyper independent early on and learn how to take care of things very early. I also have traveled to other countries, gone to college, held leadership positions, had a career where I was actually evaluating intelligence and working with complex data. He also doesn’t recognize the work I’ve done or experiences i have had and often tells me how things that relate to what i used to do “actually is.” And then when i explain how it legally is, that’s also when I apparently take things too seriously. I just get frustrated by people trying to explain my situation back to me “from a different perspective.” When my “situation” was inexplicable. You cannot explain away medical trauma, dv, homelessness, etc.
When talking about general psychological/sociological/somewhat political things like struggles US citizens face, he told me yesterday “the thing is, nobody cares about you,” in a very apathetic way. He meant it about “people like me” bc he knows the general stuff I’ve experienced. It wasn’t necessarily targeted. Explaining how there are always bad doctors etc. And I tried to tell him basic human rights are not really the same thing as people not caring- it’s things people need to survive that are supposed to happen but don’t. And he just says that’s how it is. He is also nihilistic and follows the mentality that everything is doomed - which is really bad for my cptsd- especially bc I truly believe I can become homeless again at any time. I am working on learning how to FEEL safe. I have already been made to feel like no one cares.
****But what I wish I would have said is “but I care about me. And I showed that to myself by fighting and advocating until I found people who also care about me.”***

Okay but let me lighten it up by posting some happier things (thanks for reading that vent. I needed it!)
I got to see two of our kittens that Chris’s mom adopted! They are almost ten months now and they are huge. Christmas felt nice this year. It was quiet and cozy. We laughed at the pets. The lights were low. We laughed when my bf’s mom forgot to mention there was pumpkin pie and came out a couple of hours later with some and we all stopped talking and watched her. I got a migraine but i have an ice pack I keep there now- so it made me feel more like I’m expected rather than just showing up. My bf got me a vanity so I can sit and do my hair, skincare, make up, or just dissociate depending on my functioning level 😂 it makes me feel safe at home when I have permanent furniture. I’ve been living here for just about a year now. I have had safe and stable housing for a year now 💗
*good sigh* 😮‍💨

Thanks for those who make it through these long vents.
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ADHD #PanicDisorder #ChronicVestibularMigraine

Hi-
I’ve been having an uptick in social anxiety symptoms lately. It’s been really hard to “understand” social interactions and if other people like me or not. I know it’s not actual social anxiety but an offshoot of either adhd or cptsd (i can often notice trauma connections to it). But the more exposure I have to people, the easier it is for me to let my guard down.
I accidentally found some triggering things I was not ready to see. Just old notes to myself- trying to be heard. I used to write everything everywhere- margins of puzzles I was doing, books, scraps of paper, etc. It’s hard to see now because I see how scared I was. I didn’t think I’d make it out of homelessness alive. Everything kept getting worse with my situations and symptoms. And I’m still trying to get back to the still limited but surprisingly more functional place I was in with cptsd but before I became unhoused. I found a note that described my symptoms at the time- and it’s hard to see that was from 3 years ago- and I’m further behind despite working so hard to fight for treatment. It makes me cry. I also found pictures of my dog who passed away almost a year and a half ago. I knew when I was packing my stuff to go into storage that I was going to have to go through so many reminders. I don’t want to throw everything away. There are so many layers of my identity that I appreciated while I had them. I see pictures of nieces and nephews, notes they wrote me, before I was no contact with my sister.
In lighter news- I’m trying something called metta mediations and it’s nice because it fits in with my therapies and group.
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PanicDisorder #ADHD #ChronicVestibularMigraine

Hi mighties!

So I’ve been trying to manage a lot of trauma symptoms recently. They haven’t been great. My panic comes in waves. But it’s not like the old panic. It’s still extremely distressing. But I will measure any progress as progress. October is a big trauma anniversary month and then holidays are also hard because of my trauma history. I’ve been dissociating a ton. I’m trying to learn more about the spectrum of dissociation. Or just more about it in general.
I’m really grateful for my boyfriend because these things are better managed with support. I’m still having a hard time with loneliness but I’m learning which of my old coworkers and friends feel safe that I can contact and at least have casual texting conversations. It makes such a big impact.
I’m working really hard to avoid triggers. That has always seemed like something I should fight against (idk- i think of exposure therapy) but I’m trying to learn my limits and respect my intuition.
I got my flu shot today! And my prior authorizations for migraine medications I have been requesting for literally years have finally been pushed through (after switching insurances) and will arrive on Tuesday. I know there is no guarantee they will work but it makes me feel more hopeful. This has taken so long. I cried on the phone with the pharmacist because it was so simple. I can’t tell you the last time I had a doctor, insurance, and the pharmacy all do what they needed to do with the prior authorization without me having to go in between and try to remember what has been said (dissociation) and tell someone else and send in multiple requests. 😮‍💨
Lastly- I had an asymptomatic yeast infection (I can’t remember if I already made a post about it or not but I’ll share again). Apparently doctors who don’t have a lot of experience with spoonies don’t realize how weird are symptoms can be. I only realized because my migraines were bad the entire month of October and I recalled one time a few ago when I went to the emergency department with a “slightly different feeling level 9 migraine” and it turned out I had a UTI. Anyways the urgent care I went to said they hadn’t heard of such thing but tested me for it anyways and found out I had a yeast infection. I went back today to make sure it cleared since I didn’t necessarily have “symptoms” anyways and the doctor again was like “we haven’t heard of it” but clearly saw they had just diagnosed me with it so we did the test and hopefully the medicine worked.
All that to say I’m having a lot better experiences at doctors now (especially when I bring a support person).
Okay thanks for reading ❤️. You all always make me feel heard and seen and like I’m allowed to talk and to take up space. 😮‍💨
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ADHD #PanicDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ChronicVestibularMigraine #icanneverrememberallofmydiagnosessowhateverelse
#CheerMeOn

Add sometimes to most of these statements because these are new moments of success I want to notice for myself ❤️ I believe these things will one day turn into “often” statements
-I can listen to music
-I can participate in conversations without it triggering panic attacks
-I can run simple errands
-I can do some cleaning (dishes) and organizing
-I can eat at restaurants for short periods of time (one time I sat down for lunch at my favorite Thai place all by myself! I was so proud of myself)
-I tutor adults for 2 hours a week and I am able to concentrate on the task
-I can engage in journaling, art, meditations/mindfulness activities with support (a lot of times body doubles are helpful for these tasks I enjoy but can’t sit for)
-I can read and respond to emails

A bit more consistent progress milestones
-I am setting better boundaries
-I am learning my limitations
-I am slowing down
-I am using more affirmations and starting to believe them- I am safe and I trust myself
-I can be at home by myself for a few hours
-I sleep for 8 hours

It has been so hard to see my functioning fall so far from where I have been. Sometimes I find myself comparing myself to where I was (functionally) before- even just five years ago. It’s sad to see what happened in the years where I was homeless, fighting agencies to give me services they told me they would, and unable to afford to support myself on disability. I have lost so much but I am so so so happy and grateful to be in a place where I can notice these small changes.

I also wanted to share that I have been doing group art therapy (I can’t remember if I have mentioned it- I was doing art in general but I found a group a couple of months ago), and I talked to the therapist last week about possibly doing individual therapy with her so I can work more on my symptoms, as well as doing EMDR. She told me she would be happy to pick me up as a client and to talk to my current therapist to make sure it was okay with her. I did and everyone is on board. So today when I let her know, I also found out that she has done a lot of work with people with chronic and/or terminal illnesses. It almost feels too good to be true. 🤞

#Agoraphobia #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ADHD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ChronicVestibularMigraine #CheerMeOn

I sat through an all day training today. Yes- to most people it may seem like an everyday thing, and even to me a decade ago I’d be like “okay…?” But my mighty friends know how big of a win this can be. I’m trying not to compare where I was a decade ago to how hard it was to do it this once. Anyways- I am now certified in Mental Health First Aid for three years. Which doesn’t “do anything” but I am disabled and i am not renewing my school psych license so this helps me stay a little current and can help me find more avenues for future volunteering opportunities. I currently volunteer as a tutor for two hours a week.
But also- I finished a skirt the night before and then wore it to the training where I got a few compliments on it.

#CheerMeOn #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PanicDisorder #ADHD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ChronicVestibularMigraine

Hello, I’m new here and I’m dealing with some really rough relationship issues that I feel have a lot to do with my health. Where do people discuss these challenges on The Mighty? I will admit that tim struggling with the relationship and it’s a 10 year relationship and we love each other very deeply yeah I feel like my medical condition. Makes it too scary or risky for someone to take a chance to be with me based on the numerous systems have been affected by my systemic connected tissue and auto immune disorder. The person I was dating for 10 years that we’re about to be engaged is a physician had a kidney transplant and I think understood too well how much risk I’ve had recently with several near death medical crisis according to my present medical history, my trajectory is not going upward at all. In fact, my immune system has attack more organs systems and now I’m not a surgical candidate, major spinal deformity or hammertoe/bone spur injury.
Im still here. My bf broke up w me. We were supposed to get engaged shortly. Hard week. I think it’s too late I missed my chance. I was in a to me and my kids which took me 15 yr marriage that was destructive to me and my kids. It took me ten years to get a divorce. I’m still dealing with the fallout from that. Dating# #mixedconectivetissuedisease #PrimaryImmunodeficiency #DemyelinatingNeuropathies #MultipleSclerosis #CrohnsDisease #AutoimmuneDisorder
#Epilepsy #Arthritis #DegenerativeDiscDisease #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Arthritis #DiffuseIdiopathicSkeletalHyperostosis #seronegativearthritis #Scleroderma #Endometriosis #Gastroparesis #ChronicVestibularMigraine #Migraine

Hi,
I am working on distancing myself from a triggering friendship and I think I may need some space to vent.
I made friends with someone from a support group, and the more we hung out, the more it became one sided and triggering. She presented herself as someone who was working on her mental health so she could get her kids back from her ex and return to work. The more time passed, the more I saw she actually wasn’t doing the things she needed to do for her mental health. I heard her say she doesn’t want to work and “wants to be disabled.” She also isn’t doing the things the kids therapist is telling her to do to earn the kids trust back (she disappeared for a period of time which is why her ex husband has her kids). I have tried having multiple conversations with her about getting more support and she says she is going to and doesn’t follow through. She is engaging in behaviors that are just continuing to keep her in an unhealthy place where she is at home all day by herself, not getting help, and getting advice from TikTok (including self diagnosing herself with several things).
Then things started getting inappropriate. I told her not to send me TikTok videos because i don’t want to see the content she sends me, she continues to send them anyways. She asked me for my adhd medication so she could clean her house. She asked my boyfriend and I for money “as a joke”, even though I am disabled and her mom gives her about $5,000 a month for her expenses. She told me she wants to act like a teenager (she is in her 40s) and be vindictive to her ex husband in front of her kids. Not only that, she has mentioned some “intrusive thoughts” regarding her kids safety which was concerning and completely inappropriate to share with me. I set a boundary with her saying I cannot hang out with her until she starts doing more for herself. However, she still continues to text me TikTok videos, texts about relationships she wants to be in and how she is updating her dating profile but won’t get tested for STIs because it’s too much work, and anything else that she has been avoiding with. She asked me if there are cloth adult diapers so she “wouldn’t have to get up to go to the bathroom.” Nothing that indicates she is taking what I said seriously, or doing things to apply for a job so she can get custody of her kids like she says is her priority, or that she is doing anything to help herself.
With help from my therapist, I finally realized how triggering it was and how much it was impacting me. I realized I was doing a lot of mental gymnastics to rationalize me continuing to show up in this friendship and meet her where she is at. I genuinely feel bad because I know she needs help. But she has family who is significantly helping her and I just need to figure out what to do next. I don’t think a conversation would help, considering I have tried many different ways to approach this. I don’t necessarily want to just block her though either. I have already stopped responding as much and so it may just have to be a gradual pull away.

Anyways, these are just some thoughts right now. If anyone reads this and has experienced something like this, I would love to hear how you managed this.

#Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ADHD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Migraine #ChronicVestibularMigraine #CheckInWithMe

Hey will someone make a batch of various colored T shirts with this logo in big letters: MISERABLY HEALTHY. Then add below in smaller letters. I have Fibromyalgia. Go ahead sell it to Temu. I’d love to see it there. #ChronicFatigue #Fibromyalgia #Health #ChronicVestibularMigraine # #Dizziness