Clean

I would honestly rather stop existing than face tomorrow. Don’t worry, I don’t have any kids. I am at the beginning of a serious part of trauma therapy and I am about as distant from my mother as I ever have been. Sometimes I honestly feel like I hate her, and other times it’s like I can metaphorically feel the umbilical cord still connecting us. She made me be her pseudo-spouse emotionally, when I was 2 or 3. I would have a tantrum (because 2 year olds do that) and she would write a literal essay on what effect my outburst had on HER, and how it made HER feel, and read it to me. When I was 2. As I got older I started imagining a literal concrete bunker inside my chest that I could hide in that had no doors or windows and nobody including my mother could get in.
I haven’t talked to her in a few months. I have to call her tomorrow and I honestly would rather jump off a bridge. But I won’t kill myself or hurt myself and I will call her. This just really sucks. I’m sure a lot of people have much worse stories. At least she hugged me and said I love you, growing up. But I always felt gross and intruded on.
She does not see or respect any boundaries. This woman socializes with her own therapist. I’m sorry for the angsty post. I don’t know what I am looking for, just someone to say something kind, I guess.

I’ve officially for the first time in my life since I started cutting when I was 15 have reached One Year Clean 😭 I never thought I’d ever reach this milestone ever and all it took was a change of environment, a strong support team and determination to not cut again. I promised my partner I’ll never hurt myself in any form ever again in my life and am so proud of achieving this. I want to do a small celebration of finally reaching this goal but I’m not sure how to celebrate it yet. #oneyearclean #oneyearcutfree #Depression #Selfharm #Clean

im 18 now and still clean since october. still feeling sad but i will continue to work hard to make it into my dream school. i feel empty, it feels like i am always missing something

It’s approaching the time of year where I usually struggle mentally. This time last year I was in a very bad place mentally and tried to end my life multiple times over Dec - Feb. what’s helped is despite what a horrible year it has been for many, it has been a great year for me. I haven’t thought about cutting for months and I am a lot happier now. This time last year I needed so much support I couldn’t get and broke. I’m mentally so much stronger now than I was before but am still struggling with small things. I wish you all a merry Christmas and thank you for always supporting me. #MentalHealth #Clean #happier

Here is one from Cybersalt.org;

Did you hear about the pet store whose canaries were constantly flying and never landed?

They gave them away for free.

After all, we're all familiar with "no perches necessary."

im doing a little better. i have been clean for a month now i believe. al though i still feel down a lot i did ask for a therapist. i also might get a job soon, i had my interview today and it went really well. i would also like to say i am a girl but a few of my friends call me matt so i used it instead of my real name. i hope i can get the help i need soon and to all of you i hope you're all doing okay. sending hugs to everyone :)) just wanted to update u all

I need to be more organized, beginning with taking care of my teeth every morning #52SmallThings