Conduct Disorder

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Conduct Disorder
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    Feeling like a psychopath, but with empathy and remorse

    I got scared that I might have Antisocial Personality Disorder, because I still have some symptom of Conduct Disorder Unspecified, and with some of those traits, I developed some skills that I thought are NT social skills, but is actually bad characteristics. I am am 21 years old and still kept some traits of Conduct Disorder Unspecified.

    I sometimes wonder if I have Antisocial Personality Disorder, but have empathy and remorse, and don't go around commiting some crimes that I did throughout my childhood, and the only difference is that I never got criminal records.

    My symptoms throughout my childhood:

    * Annoyed and chased animals for sick pleasure, but I started to feel so guilty for doing that, as I stopped doing that
    * Sometimes broke some school rules, and get into fights
    * A little bit impulsive when angry
    * Always thought that I am right, and getting into arguments, most of my peers thought I was wired, because of that

    I know that my symptoms of Conduct Disorder Unspecified did not present all the time, but it was pathological and that went on throughout my childhood.

    Some symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder that I have:

    * Charm (I use charm when I lie)
    * Brainwashing (I don't do that, but I have that skill)
    * Lying (I sometimes lie a lot, and people don't know that I lied, but I am more likely to be honest than most)
    * Manipulation (I do that rarely though)

    Those skills that I have is limited, because I have history of severe communication delay.

    I feel guilty that I have those traits, but I wonder if it is possible for me to be a psychopath with empathy and remorse, and choosing to not commit crimes, but I still feel like I harm others by having those traits. I feel ashamed, I am sorry!

    2 people are talking about this
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    I thought that I have some kind of rare form of Antisocial Personality Disorder or undiagnosed Atypical Antisocial Personality Disorder

    When I looked through my IEP, medical and police records, I found out that I have history of showing symptoms Conduct Disorder, Unspecified type. That is why I thought that I have some kind of rare form of Antisocial Personality Disorder or undiagnosed Atypical Antisocial Personality Disorder, but have effective emapthy and remorse. I did antisocial things from my childhood and some unusual things that is defiant from the norm as I got older.

    Community Voices

    Selfie Sunday

    <p>Selfie Sunday</p>
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    Opposition Defiant

    I never admitted this anywhere before. The diox wasn't fully developed in 1980 in the dsm2 where they started it but they considered it for me. they couldn't call me a conduct disorder because I wasn't out to control people I didn't want their lots I didn't want to damage them. I wasn't cruel to animals.

    Although I was angry aggravated kid that had tantrums and was very vindictive and spiteful and all the other problems of a conduct disorder except the ones I just mentioned.

    Again I wasn't a thief I didn't wasn't cruel nimals I didn't want to control people actually I wanted people to f*** off

    And most importantly still to this day I respected nobody's authority. If there's a choice between swats at school or do what somebody said I'd take the SWATS every time.

    In a seminary I realized I couldn't give my word to God to do what another man said.

    in jobs I never had any respect for my boss or their authority. One boss one time told me it's my way or the highway. I said it's a nice sunny day outside.

    To this day if there's somebody I don't like and I see something that pissed them off I'll do it just to piss them off more.

    I was embarrassed my whole life because of that diagnosis.

    And now as a peer support leader listening to suicidal people that have been wronged by the mental health system I'm more than proud to say I am an Oppositional Defiant

    #OppositionalDefiantDisorder

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    Identifying Suicide Risk Factors and Providing Support Can Save a Life

    Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Suicide was the second leading cause of death in individuals 10-34 and fourth leading cause in individuals 34-54. There were more than twice as many suicides in the United States as there were homicides. And the issue is only getting worse, according to the CDC, with suicides increasing by 30 percent in the past twenty years. In order to bring awareness to the issue, the month of September is recognized as National Suicide Prevention Month. Its mission is to bring awareness to suicide and prevent it. Yet, we are all too aware that suicide exists, aren’t we? We still need a month. A month. One out of 12 month of the year set aside to keep our loved ones from dying. Such a short time, however, that’s all the more reason we must focus on this issue. My father died when I was a little girl; a victim of suicide. One of my best friends from middle and high school attempted it. I’ve attempted it. And I’ll bet that I shock many by that statement. However, we cannot stay silent in the face of such an avoidable death. Allowing ourselves and our loved ones to have open, non-judgmental conversations and checking in during difficult times are just a few ways to raise awareness and save lives. It’s no secret 2020 is different. Underemployment, student loan debt, issues obtaining housing, social unrest and COVID-19 all contribute why this year adds layers of nuance not seen in years before. In essence, we are struggling to survive. Quarantine has isolated us ever further. So, that begs the question: How can we help? First we need to know the signs. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, there are three types of risk factors: health, environmental and historical. Risk factor: Health Mental health conditions: Depression Substance use problems (such as those of the opioid crisis) Bipolar disorder Schizophrenia Personality traits of aggression, mood changes and poor relationships Conduct disorder Anxiety disorders Serious physical health conditions including pain Traumatic brain injury Risk factor: Environmental Access to lethal means including firearms and drugs Prolonged stress, such as harassment, bullying, relationship problems or unemployment Stressful life events, like rejection, divorce, financial crisis, other life transitions or loss (a great deal of stressors in life events, such as those in 2020) Exposure to another person’s suicide, or too graphic or sensationalized accounts of suicide Risk factor: Historical Previous suicide attempts (many people try more than once) Family history of suicide Childhood abuse, neglect or trauma Not all signs are as obvious as depression or a job loss. Some individuals are more subtle in their behavior. Psychiatrist Cesar Figueroa, MD of Southern Hills Hospital and Medical Center states, “Any changes in someone’s personality, behavior, or how they express their emotions can be an indication.” Not all risk factors for suicide will fall under a neat umbrella of clinical terms. Those with a background of military service or an individual who identifies as LGBTQIA+ can be at increased risk due to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or bullying. A person such as myself, with a chronic illness, can be at increased risk, especially if it’s a chronic pain condition. So how can we help? Please understand, in some cases, the best way to help someone is to call their medical provider or 911, if the loss of life could be imminent. Instead of focusing on what we can’t do, focus on letting that loved one know there are organizations and programs designed specifically to help and support those struggling with mental health issues, life crises and may have suicidal thoughts. Chester Bennington, the lead singer for Linkin Park, died by suicide in 2018. Talinda Bennington told CNN there were signs of hopelessness, a change of behavior and isolation. In 2017, Linkin Park released “One More Light,” a song that’s saved my life. A power lyric plays: “If they say Who cares if one more light goes out? In a sky of a million stars It flickers, flickers Who cares when someone’s time runs out? If a moment is all we are We’re quicker, quicker Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do…” One life can mean everything. Please don’t let your light flicker out, and if you wonder who cares… well, I do. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please know that you are not alone. If you are in danger of acting on suicidal thoughts, call 911. For support and resources, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line.

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    Relapsed Onced Again 😭😭

    <p>Relapsed Onced Again 😭😭</p>
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