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Mom

My mom pasted away this past Tuesday. Her funeral is this coming Tuesday. She got what she thought was allergies on May 5th and then went down hill from there. It took my siblings and I a month to convince her to go to the doctor because she wasn't getting better. We found out at the very end, she had stage four cancer. How did she not know? How were there no signs or symptoms? I'm having anxiety about going to her funeral because my younger brother is one of those controlling toxic people. I had to block him on my phone because his text messages are abusive and all over the place. I come from an abusive family and I think that is one of the reasons I have pushed them away. I'm positive my brother is going to say stuff to me when I go to mom's funeral. I'm not sure how to handle him. He pushes and pushes until I can't take it anymore. He brings up things he knows will hurt me on purpose. My sister says that's between you and him. Then sa

He says y'all have never gotten along. But she doesn't get it because he doesn't talk to her like he does me. I'm so anxious I can hardly eat. #mom #Anxiety #Abusive #Toxic #nauseous #Funeral #cancerous

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A New Reality in Mom Stress

<p>A New Reality in Mom Stress</p>
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Still on a journey #selfcare #MentalHealth #Bipolar #mom

When I first found myself struggling with my moods I was flip flopping a lot and I got given a diagnosis at 16. Didn't know what to really do with the term bipolar disorder. I just partied on in my late teens and kept wondering why I was such a mess all the time. Wasn't till I was maybe 19 that I started seeking out more help and someone to chat to about what I was dealing with. I didn't get a lot of good advice right away. But I did learn about what I was dealing with both from my dr and myself researching it. Honestly if I had gotten advice right out the gate I'm not sure how I would have responded to the information..or reacted to it. I sure know how I reacted to the news, I felt frustrated and soon found out there wasn't a magic one pill to help make it all better. It's taken me years to maintain a balance in my brain where I could at least feel level. That came with finding a medication combo that was beneficial for me. Before that time trying medications made me feel like a lab rat with trial and error on meds. It was very frustrating and a defeating process at times. I soon realized that this was a journey and not a one stop and go bandage. There have been and always will be good days and bad days. Living with bipolar is no easy deal.
At first I had no tools to manage it. My first was medication and with that came side effects and that was a whole new territory. I had my family Dr, a psychiatrist and a counselor which I accessed through our community. For those who think it's expensive for counseling it is, which is why I looked for help in my community. I've done one on one therapy and I had an addictions counselor to discuss my love for alcohol and marijuana. It took time for me to realize how those two things in the way I was using them weren't serving me well. That was how I coped with my diagnosis at that time but that's a whole other story. When I found group therapy in my 20's that really pushed me to my boundaries. I gained a lot of tools from seeking out mental health care through group therapy. It also challenged my anxiety of people because it was in a group setting. Very beneficial for me in the long run. I didn't always view it as such at the time though, even skipped sessions on occasion. I am always learning and reflecting on life it's part of the healing process. Group helped me learn about myself. Helped me learn to be more self aware. I learned about mindfulness and the tools you can use from tuning into yourself. Asking yourself why and getting curious when your triggered instead of just reacting to a situation eventually you can pause and respond to it. But you know I really wish someone had told me how hard it can feel some days, to get 'er done with a mental health journey always ahead of you.
Like this mode of life is very much my life. It gets tiring, it gets old at times. To help fight that fight I have with myself even after year's of therapy and management with my drs, I've learned for me that self-care is so important. When you are feeling off and your day is looming before you, or your simply stuck in a funk. Do take your medications, feed yourself, and fuel your self with good things. Basic care of your needs is your starting point. Brush your teeth, shower, eat, wash your face. See how you feel, reach farther, go for a walk. Clean up your home if that makes you feel better and accomplished even a little. Being productive helps me when I'm in a state of being stuck in the mud.. not going anywhere fast and am sinking slowly. Some days I need to be creative like writing, drawing or painting. Or I'm singing and dancing with my daughter. Those things are good for her and I. Self care has taken on a different look for me as a mom. It's a bit harder to have "good" energy left for me like when she is down for a nap. Now I say good energy cause I give my daughter and husband my good energy first. I soon realized I needed some "good" energy for me too though and have been working on a balance of things for my family and I. So some days I nap too. That is also meeting a need of mine if I'm tired it's okay to sleep. It's okay to rest instead of doing the dishes. Dishes aren't going anywhere, time is. If I choose to sleep it's cause I need it and I still have to tell myself that it's okay to take a break from chores and errands. If I have the energy I'll focus on the self care in her down time and when we are together I'm doing all I can for her, then me 2nd. I know I need to take care of my daughter but I also know with my mental health it's so important to match those needs for me too. Can't live off coffee all day though some days I try to, till I remind myself I need to eat too . I'm in my 30's and I've been on a mental health journey for 13 years. I was at my worst point in my early 19-20 days. Now I'm a first time mom, I struggle with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. I take medication to combat the brain/chemical part. But I very much know the rest is on me, and I feel like I give decent advice to those I care for when they feel down and out. It sure helps to take your own advice on your bad days.
Being aware of your self enough to implement changes to make yourself feel better. The whole day doesn't need to be that bad try and fill your cup, don't just keep draining it. Be your own friend and take care of you. Some times it's harder to do, but routine helps. Helps me to be consistent and show up for myself. Definitely a journey and with a little one in tow and having a healthy happy baby and I'm happy too I sure feel grateful for the tools I've learned and am able to use on the daily. I strive to be my best self each day because that's what I and my family deserve. It's not always easy and some days I have to force myself into care for myself but I try not to feel guilty if it takes me a little extra time to figure things out. I'll get there, I've come this far I tell myself. I can do this.

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A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

Hello my friends. Yes... It is me again.

Today i had quit my job that I was hired at about a week ago. I barely could make it through my day yesterday evening. It was quite awful because of the fact that I had stayed late, and did not get to go to sleep until closer to midnight. I struggled because I had to take #Medicine for my #Insomnia . I know how much I have been struggling for years with this disorder. The job started out kind of fun, but was lacking proper training. I realized that most employees were new, and kind of just thrown into the mix of store operations. One of the managers had a #personality clash with me. She came off very harsh, and snippy which made me so #nervous . I was #Crying about it, and could not seem to get myself out of that #worry .

I read somewhere that those who have #BipolarDisorder also have a connection with #Insomnia . Some may have reason to believe that it has to deal with a wandering mind due to a hypomanic episode. Yet, I think they fail to understand that it is not always the reason why.

I have a serious case of #DeathAnxiety that does not seem to go away. It has gotten better since my father had passed away, as I feel a little more comfortable with the facts that this happens to us all. However, I am still struggling. Each day that passes is another day completed of my life and I do not know when God will call me home. There is this weird feeling that I get in my chest that creates this #Weird thought process. I feel this hallowed out sensation in my chest, and I also experience a feeling like I need to whine or cry or yell "I do not want to die." Sometimes I call out for my #Dad who is no longer with me. Therefore, I noiced I have reached out to my #mom a whole lot. I #cherish the time that I have to live.

If you have made it this far through this message, I thank you.
I really would love a #reply .

8 people are talking about this
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Community Voices

Will someone please share your thoughts?

<p>Will someone please share your thoughts?</p>
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Good morning friends.

<p>Good morning friends.</p>
5 people are talking about this
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3 Ways Parenting Was Completely Different Before the Internet.

<p>3 Ways Parenting Was Completely Different Before the Internet.</p>
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Nearly the end……

<p>Nearly the end……</p>
15 people are talking about this
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I have ankylosing spondilitis and I’m scared to have kids because of it

Hey ! So I am a 19 year old girl with ankylosing spondilitis , so obviously , this question isn’t about right now , but it is definitely something I think about a lot and that I worry about if I get into a relationship .

Look . I want to have kids . More than anything I want to have children and to be a mother . But I’m scared because of AS . I’m scare to transmit it to them ( I don’t have the gene ) . I would feel so guilty if they ended up in the same pain I am in . I wouldn’t want to do that for my kids .

I’m scared of how the pregnancy will go , if I will be able to get them into the world safe without complications ( due to AS )

And I’m also scared about my own health . I’m scared that I will be ok when I get pregnant , but that the pregnancy and the childbirth would take a huge toll on my health .

Im scared that when they grow up , i won’t be able to do all the things I’d want to do with them , to take proper care of them etc …

Please if there are any moms here that also deal with AS , let me know your experience

#mom #AnkylosingSpondylitis #mother

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