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Shame, Sex, and Chronic Illness #ChronicIllness #Sex #DisabilityAndSexuality

Shame, sex, and chronic illness? It’s not talked about in our culture. But, it is talked about in my office on a daily basis. When I work with a couple who experience chronic illness, the ill partner feels shame about the changes in their sexuality. Suffering from a may mean not only restricting sex but also experiencing a reduced desire for sex. We know there are a lot of negative messages around sex, pleasure, and eroticism. I remember as a child being told that sex was dirty. Well, that only made me more curious about it. Growing up with these messages and being disabled only added another layer to your shame. So how can we access sexual pleasure without shame? Once you are able to accept and build a relationship with your illness, this can increase your desire for sex. We know that a is not going to be cured, but when you are able to accept the illness and you are learning to cope with it as a couple, you can let go of the messages and conditioning that you have internalized for so many years. Learning to integrate the illness in your lives can make the sexual energy between the both of you stronger and more powerful! Intimacy requires vulnerability and when you are able to work through and not around the roadblocks of a , you both are able to discuss the sexual issues and you can explore a new sexual theme together. #Shame #Sex #sexandlovewhenyouaresick #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #sextherapy #sextherapist #sexdoc #sexdoctor #couples #couplesgoals #Psychotherapy #psychotherapist

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Boundaries and Illness in the Partnership

When two people build a relationship, they must find a comfortable degree of intimacy, agreeing on how deeply to share feelings, how much time to spend together, and how to openly express affection. We observe a continuum of degrees of intimacy in relationships. Intimacy is not a static concept, so that a couple can travel through different stages of closets over time. When a couple has the optimal balance between intimacy and autonomy, their boundaries touch yet remain distinct. They are aware of each other’s needs and emotions. But what happens when an illness strikes? A couple’s previous success in resolving intimacy issues (and these include sexual intimacy issues) will determine how well they cope with an illness. During the crisis period of an illness, couples have the tendency to oscillate between the more extreme points of the intimacy range. On their attempt to support each other, the partners may begin to violate each other’s autonomy. But there is hope. There is a “new normal” that must emerge for the partnership to work. #boundaries #couples #couplesgoals #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Hope

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Trapped in the cage of #ChronicIllness

Trapped in your feelings with pain due to #ChronicIllness ? Feeling like you have lost yourself #sexually ? If managing or controlling your #Pain isn’t the answer, then what is? This is the most pressing question when introduced to the idea that pain management may not be the answer you need. What it comes down to is that the answer is up to you. It’s critical to look at what you #value . You have been fighting a war with your #illness and over time, it is consuming your life. The time you have spent searching for solutions to your pain has likely left you #exhausted , stressed out, and worst of all in more pain. You are probably so tired of the pain and wrapped up in getting rid of it in the first place. I find that individuals and couples who battle chronic illness are so involved in the fight, they forget why they started fighting to begin with. Yes, low sexual desire and arousal can be due to chronic illness, but so can the endless battle and conflict can bring to the partnership. At first glance, asking you why you want to get rid of your pain may seem like a ridiculous question. Isn’t it self- evident? I’m am suggesting you look at it from a different perspective. Take a moment to stop yourself and ask..If I had no pain due to my , what would I do with my life? What you would do with your life may be the VERY thing that has been overlooked in your battle with pain. What if you could learn to do things WITH your pain? If you are partnered, how can you both work together living a life with pain? How can you reclaim the sexual intimacy you miss? What if you could carry your pain with you while you live the life you went to live? Stay tuned as I address this in my first book, Sex & Love When You Are Sick. #Psychotherapy #sextherapy #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Fibromyalgia #Diabetes #HIV #CrohnsDisease #MultipleSclerosis #Lupus #AutoimmuneDisease #rhuematoidarthritis #doyou #couples #couplesgoals #individualgoals