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Shame, Sex, and Chronic Illness #ChronicIllness #Sex #DisabilityAndSexuality

Shame, sex, and chronic illness? It’s not talked about in our culture. But, it is talked about in my office on a daily basis. When I work with a couple who experience chronic illness, the ill partner feels shame about the changes in their sexuality. Suffering from a may mean not only restricting sex but also experiencing a reduced desire for sex. We know there are a lot of negative messages around sex, pleasure, and eroticism. I remember as a child being told that sex was dirty. Well, that only made me more curious about it. Growing up with these messages and being disabled only added another layer to your shame. So how can we access sexual pleasure without shame? Once you are able to accept and build a relationship with your illness, this can increase your desire for sex. We know that a is not going to be cured, but when you are able to accept the illness and you are learning to cope with it as a couple, you can let go of the messages and conditioning that you have internalized for so many years. Learning to integrate the illness in your lives can make the sexual energy between the both of you stronger and more powerful! Intimacy requires vulnerability and when you are able to work through and not around the roadblocks of a , you both are able to discuss the sexual issues and you can explore a new sexual theme together. #Shame #Sex #sexandlovewhenyouaresick #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #sextherapy #sextherapist #sexdoc #sexdoctor #couples #couplesgoals #Psychotherapy #psychotherapist

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The Couples Relationship with #ChronicIllness

A couple’s #relationship can affect the development and management of a #ChronicIllness in a variety of ways. As a #psychotherapist who helps couples battle chronic illness, I find that we need more research on how marital status influences the quality of life of the chronically ill. When the both of you are at the optimal balance between intimacy and autonomy, your boundaries touch yet remain distinct. You both must be aware of each other’s needs and emotions. Why is this so important? Because this will drive and determine the sexual #intimacy in your relationship. The skills that shape the your relationship such as allocating roles, respecting #boundaries communicating effectively, and agreeing on relationship rules, can promote a healthy sex life. Part of my work as a psychotherapist includes helping couples with allocating sexual roles. Many #couples give all responsibility for initiating sex to one partner. This is not always the case with all couples, but it becomes a problem when one partner becomes ill. When confronted by a chronic illness, it is critical to examine your sexual #Communication and sexual rules. You may need to take a less performance oriented attitude towards sex and #explore new ways of pleasuring each other. Playfulness can ease tension and the both of you can focus on your attractive points rather than striving to match perfection. #sexandlovewhenyouaresick #firstbook #author #writer #sextherapy #Psychotherapy #couples #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain

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Trapped in the cage of #ChronicIllness

Trapped in your feelings with pain due to #ChronicIllness ? Feeling like you have lost yourself #sexually ? If managing or controlling your #Pain isn’t the answer, then what is? This is the most pressing question when introduced to the idea that pain management may not be the answer you need. What it comes down to is that the answer is up to you. It’s critical to look at what you #value . You have been fighting a war with your #illness and over time, it is consuming your life. The time you have spent searching for solutions to your pain has likely left you #exhausted , stressed out, and worst of all in more pain. You are probably so tired of the pain and wrapped up in getting rid of it in the first place. I find that individuals and couples who battle chronic illness are so involved in the fight, they forget why they started fighting to begin with. Yes, low sexual desire and arousal can be due to chronic illness, but so can the endless battle and conflict can bring to the partnership. At first glance, asking you why you want to get rid of your pain may seem like a ridiculous question. Isn’t it self- evident? I’m am suggesting you look at it from a different perspective. Take a moment to stop yourself and ask..If I had no pain due to my , what would I do with my life? What you would do with your life may be the VERY thing that has been overlooked in your battle with pain. What if you could learn to do things WITH your pain? If you are partnered, how can you both work together living a life with pain? How can you reclaim the sexual intimacy you miss? What if you could carry your pain with you while you live the life you went to live? Stay tuned as I address this in my first book, Sex & Love When You Are Sick. #Psychotherapy #sextherapy #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Fibromyalgia #Diabetes #HIV #CrohnsDisease #MultipleSclerosis #Lupus #AutoimmuneDisease #rhuematoidarthritis #doyou #couples #couplesgoals #individualgoals