disability and sexuality

So until yesterday I thought I had an unusual sex drive. My wife doesn’t share my enthusiasm and I respect that and I don’t play away. We’ve been together 28 years and it’s been mostly alright. I’d say the biggest arguments have been about my drive and her lack of drive. She openly says she has a low drive.

My bipolar diagnosis was a godsend and explained much about me and my life. How she put up with my ups and downs is beyond me but that’s another story for another time. She’s my angel.

So the dreaded sex subject. But over the last few days, here on ‘The Mighty’ I have kinda seen the light.

OK so not a solution but a couple of posts explaining that many other people have the same issues. And it certainly appears many others have suffered with the same problem.

One of them said:-

Hypersexuality
“Hypersexuality in mania. It’s never talked about. So many people never realize it’s a symptom and a pretty horrible one. It can cause a person to be unfaithful through no fault of their own and people won’t ever understand that because they don’t realize it’s the illness, not the person. (Fortunately. I never have.) It’s also a horrible feeling, to constantly want to have sex, no matter what.” — Amy W.“Hypersexuality. Constantly second-guessing myself in relationships because I have random thoughts throughout the day that make me feel dirty and unfaithful in my relationship, and not knowing whether I will be able to control them or not.” — Cassandra M.

I have no answer and cannot really say how we have got by. What I can say is the thoughts fill my head too much. I guess the strength is to not enact them but it does feel like a never ending battle. It’s hard enough not saying what’s on my mind. As a side note I must add that my wife suffered sexual abuse and battery in her younger life so the last thing she would need is me being overly insensitive.

This post isn’t supposed to take anything away from the victims/survivors of any sort of abuse. Neither is it meant to make light of needing sexual attention. Everybody is different in their disorders. I know mine may not align with others. It is only to say it is nice to hear that I’m not on my own. My disorder, I thought, was unique to me. The Mighty has been an eye opener to me. I’m struggling and this site is helping me understand that I’m not unique.

#bipolar #sex Sex...the taboo subject. #bipolar #bipolar2disorder #bipolardiorder #bipolarobsessiveness #bipolar2disorder #sex #sexandrelationships #DisabilityAndSexuality

Shame, sex, and chronic illness? It’s not talked about in our culture. But, it is talked about in my office on a daily basis. When I work with a couple who experience chronic illness, the ill partner feels shame about the changes in their sexuality. Suffering from a may mean not only restricting sex but also experiencing a reduced desire for sex. We know there are a lot of negative messages around sex, pleasure, and eroticism. I remember as a child being told that sex was dirty. Well, that only made me more curious about it. Growing up with these messages and being disabled only added another layer to your shame. So how can we access sexual pleasure without shame? Once you are able to accept and build a relationship with your illness, this can increase your desire for sex. We know that a is not going to be cured, but when you are able to accept the illness and you are learning to cope with it as a couple, you can let go of the messages and conditioning that you have internalized for so many years. Learning to integrate the illness in your lives can make the sexual energy between the both of you stronger and more powerful! Intimacy requires vulnerability and when you are able to work through and not around the roadblocks of a , you both are able to discuss the sexual issues and you can explore a new sexual theme together. #Shame #Sex #sexandlovewhenyouaresick #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #sextherapy #sextherapist #sexdoc #sexdoctor #couples #couplesgoals #Psychotherapy #psychotherapist