illness

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    June was canceled for me!

    Pretty much this whole month, I wish it didn’t happen. First I wound up with a cellulitis infection that had to heal. On the heels of that I tested positive for Covid! I’m three days into it..and my symptoms are super congestion, headaches, sneezing, (my nose is raw) occasional coughing fatigue, and some stomach upset. This strain of the variant virus is like an awful head cold.

    My husband who goes out and about everyday has so far tested negative. We have both been fully vaccinated and I’ve even had double boosters.

    I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, Psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis, and metabolic syndrome, and had just recovered from a skin infection. I wondered if it was my weakened immune system that made me an easier target for the virus? So far three friends I’d seen a couple of days before I fell ill, all have been fine. -They might be asymptomatic, or hopefully by some miracle I’m the only one who’s become ill?

    I was thinking last night that I would hate to be in a physically sick state like this for a duration. I just deel with the other conditions I have..

    It must truly be awful to be physically, chronically ill.

    I texted my oldest daughter something like the sentance above, with the addition of my current state of health. I doubt she’d even read or respond to it. I have sympathy and can also identify with crap people go through. My 40 year old daughter ghosted us. Without explanation or reason and there was no provocation on our part. She’s got Stage 4 cancer, so on some level I get the block out of people, loved ones, she conveniently doesn’t wish to deel with any longer!

    So, I have taken a Red Sharpie across my paper wall calendar and drawn a large X through the month of June! I feel like I didn’t get a June 2022! #illness #COVID19 #Depression #PTSD #sick #AutoimmuneDisease #hate this! I’m in sick #bed mode. #I tried to do a least one productive thing today. I just want to feel better and get back to functioning on some level..

    2 reactions 6 comments
    Post

    Post update

    To everyone who liked or commented on my Suffering Post: Thank You, for your concern, your advice, your relatable stories regarding the same, your prayers, and any good juju, and positive vibes that were sent my way. I have 5 more days of antibiotics, and 1 more for a steroid I’m taking for the cellulitis infection on my face.-Yes, it can happen on a face! It’s caused by a bacteria, so all it needs is an opening on the skin, in my case an insect bite (mosquito.) I am much improved (only I can tell where it started.) I have more wrinkles/character lines by my right eye. Hopefully they’re change and I won’t look older on my right and younger on my left side! 😜🤣 #Healing #illness #Gratitude #ThankYou #

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    Struggling to cope with #illness

    I have always struggled with people close to me being ill or sick. The change in normal routine to something i cant control or just ‘make stop’ so that everything can be normal again completely throws me.
    Recently, however, i have been getting a lot worse. Every time i hear or see someone being sick or with diareah (i cant spell sorry) on tv or in real life i shut down. I go into a full blown panic - shaking, crying, feeling sick myself, high heart rate you name it.
    This weekend my boyfriend has fallen ill with some sort of bug that means he has both and i feel so guilty that i cannot be there fully to comfort him or be kind because i am shutting down myself. I feel like such a shitty person locking myself in a bedroom for an hour or so to just panic and weep. I feel like the worst, uncaring person in the world and i dont know what to do.

    Post

    Warning - #Holiday #Depression #Anxiety - when going on holiday - what to prepare for that you may not have thought about - My 6 tips!

    One of the biggest #trigger s to #desperation , and #Depression coupled with tremendous #Anxiety is the #unknowns - #Medication shortage fear is one.

    #Holidays for anyone who lives with these #illnesses can be hugely #distressing !

    I'd say that we're already feeling #anxious when preparing to go away, and yet, we aren't given the tools to help us, should a #Crisis set in while away in a Foreign Country, without our regular safe #drs near.

    Here are my 6 tips that I hope will make your #Holiday pleasant.

    Before packing your clothes, please ensure that you have ordered enough #Medication well in advance of your trip, and perhaps a little more of your #Medication than you usually take, as a precaution. Luggage gets lost. Flights get delayed. There's massive uncertainty with #COVID etc.

    We absolutely have to feel #safe regarding our #meds - and it is #Dangerous should we find ourselves without our #meds and not being able to #GET replacements.

    Tip 1. Always take your #Medication on board with you. Never let the bag with them out of your sight. - This gives a feeling of #Safety and #Comfort

    Tip 2. Always have your #Doctors phone number and contact details both in your handbag, as well as the bag holding your #Medication .

    Tip 3. When you arrive at your destination - before you unpack it's very important, for #peace of mind, to find out where the nearest #Dr and/or #Hospital is. Take their phone number and address. Keep these on you, plus a copy at your hotel or wherever you are staying. Believe me, this will save you #severe #Anxiety and stress, and you will be able to enjoy yourself.

    Tip 4. You may very well be put into situations where you start to feel #anxious and possibly #afraid . It does not matter whether it 'makes sense' to anyone. Even if you are on the beach, #Anxiety can kick in. So always, if you are on anti#Anxiety #meds , take them with you. Always. It is also perfectly acceptable to leave if you feel it's overwhelming. #Migraines are my 'go-to' sadly due to no understanding of #mental illness.

    Tip 5. If you find you wake up #depressed - remember that you do not have to get up just because the sun is shining. Be #Kind to yourself. Do something to distract you. TV, a book, whatever. Stay put in bed if you want to.

    Tip 6. If you've arranged a dinner out with your friends, but come time to get ready, your #distress #Anxiety - or any other part of your #illness kicks in, it is perfectly okay to politely decline by feigning a #Migraine attack. Sometimes, #whitelies are necessary - with #mental illness. Then watch a good movie. :)

    I hope these few tips help you. I went away recently, and thought I had adequate #Medication - but by week 3 - I was running out.

    I have learned a valuable lesson. Nightmare! Never again...I now know better. Shew.

    Debi xx

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    Another symptom

    The weight loss was bad enough. I’m now covered in bruises. No less than 25 on my legs (I counted 31 but some could be the same bruise just continued). I started noticing the bruising on Thursday, and it’s only increased since. My arms also have above the normal amount.

    The worst part about the weekend was not being able to do anything and I stayed up late on Saturday worrying. And now that it’s almost Monday, I’m naturally wondering if worrying is overreacting because I have health anxiety.

    At this point I will probably leave it because every other time I’ve had symptoms of something bad, it’s always been fine/ because of something less serious. I’m fed up of wasting the NHS’ time and money.

    Besides, I don’t think they’ll retest my WBC count any time soon anyway. They have a test tube shortage and since they think the low count before was due to the antibiotics, it’s not going to be a priority to re-test (which I can absolutely understand).

    My friend thinks they will because of my symptoms, but they can all be explained somewhat:

    The weight loss; I’ve gone through a breakup, a move, an illness and I’ve worked a lot. Whilst I never lost weight when I had covid or worked a lot before, new stuff can happen I suppose.

    The bruising: I’ve moved and I’ve also worked 4 days in a row. Even though I don’t recall such, I probably battered my legs a few times moving. And even though I don’t normally bruise because of such, I probably bruised from kneeling at work.

    Here’s to hoping I do start putting on weight and the bruises start disappearing so I can wear my dress without leggings/ tights!

    #WeightLoss #LowWBC #illness #bruise #BloodTests #symptoms #newsymptoms #HealthAnxiety #Anxiety #bruising

    1 comment
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    Goodbyes and worries

    I’ve been saying goodbyes. To the people I’ve worked for for 5 years, my ex’s parents (or so I had thought), and in a few days my colleagues. And next week, my home town (though I have already moved in, I am having to finish work up in my home town first).

    I gave up the one-sided efforts with my ex. I finalised them on Monday, when I went to deliver him a letter. It explained that I couldn’t be his friend, with the reasons being things that were down to him. Because I couldn’t blame myself for any of it, and I explained the ways I tried to in the letter.

    Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on the way you view it), my faith and my personality make me a very forgiving person. Add in the fact I’m supposed to be living with him, I was never exactly able to cut him off.

    I had a message from E (my ex) after I left, which was more of an apology than the “sorry” I got in person. And he said he would do whatever it takes to make up for the wrong he did and the hurt he caused. I acted cold but he was insistent. So the next day I messaged him extending an olive branch, but I warned him that if things didn’t change that it was going to go back to what led to the letter. But so far, things are no different and I’m the only one bothering. I know it’s not fair of me to say that given it’s only been a few days, but from dating him I know him. I don’t believe things will change. But I’m giving him the opportunity all the same.

    In other news, I’ve had other stuff going on.

    I lost another 5 pounds. I’m back to the same weight I was 4 years ago, and it takes the total weight loss to 10 pounds in less than a month. It’s a lot to weight to lose to illness and depression (10% of my body weight). I’m hoping it is just that, but I guess I will find out when I have my blood test in a few weeks.

    I haven’t heard back from ENT since I had my hearing test, so I called them today. Apparently they hadn’t passed on the results to the doctor that saw me, and it took me calling them for them to do that. So I have some extra waiting time now because of that, and also worry because I have been in this situation before and they’ve discharged me. Surely they shouldn’t this time with hearing loss though?

    I’ve also been feeling really burnt out as of late. It feels like all I do is work, eat, sleep. I’ve just got to get through this week and things should be easier though, but then also busier so I can’t really win either way.

    Anyway, here’s to hoping things will settle down soon. And I wish the same for anyone else who feels like they just have everything going on.

    #Depression #MentalHealth #illness #WeightLoss #Ex #ent #HearingLoss #underweight #goodbye #moving #Forgiveness #Burnout #burntout #breakup

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    Another night ..... #COVID19 #Anxiety #Depression #Pain #struggling

    Today's been a really bad day!infact one of my worst .The past 8 weeks have been absolutely horrible and feels a lifetime ,yet in ways it feels like it just happened yesterday.

    This long covid has totally mentally and physically ruined me and is getting worse each day !

    I know I'm lucky to be here especially how close I came to that being a possibility I wasn't and still isn't totally a far away situation with way things can turn , but I am really struggling justnow.

    Would really benefit from hearing anyone else's situations with this or if they have been effected???

    #COVID19 #longcovid #Depression #Anxiety #Pain #illness #MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #Endometriosis #SkinCancer #youmatter #Bekind

    3 comments
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    That wasn’t a challenge!

    Dear life, when I asked if I could feel any worse, that wasn’t a challenge!

    The antibiotics definitely aren’t working, and the side effects have me feeling worse than ever before.

    How awful I’m feeling makes me want cuddles but I only saw my boyfriend yesterday so I’ll just have to wait it out :(

    #breathlessness #nausea #heartracing #Dizziness #lightheaded #antibiotics #SideEffects #Fever #Sweating #lossofappetite #illness #Infection

    1 comment