dissociation

My therapist diagnosed me with #AnorexiaNervosa (Nos). I have been restricting for awhile now and I am obsessing over the scale and I fear of getting fat. I’m constantly weighing myself. I just don’t want to be who I was when I was married. I lost a lot of weight when I stopped drinking soda and since I walk every day. Since started Caplyta I been dropping weight. I also reversed my #Diabetes so that was good.

Hi, my name is rearips. I'm looking for anyone with DID, please. I'm a teenager and I have been diagnosed with DID. I'll be honest and say I had no clue DID was a thing- I thought it was fake. Only a few months after I got diagnosed I realized it was real and that's what my alters were trying to say. My therapist teaches me about terms like dissociation and switching and I learned more online. I don't know where to go because nobody is really... with me? I feel alone. I'm in the Middle East so basically learning about mental health is non existent. If you have this please talk to me. I never used this it automatically put some of these tags.

#MightyTogether #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder #OCD #Grief #PTSD #DID #Dissociation #DissociationDisorders #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

I have struggled with suicide ideation off and on for the past 20 years. It doesn’t happen every month of every year . The same goes for waves of low points and during those low points thoughts can be very dark. I don’t know if any of you dissociate for no reason even when you’re not under stress. For me, it happens randomly, and I feel like I am observing myself just go through the motions. Do any of you relate?

For the past few years, I dreaded Jan 24th/Jan 25 - these mark the anniversary of my biggest loss; one event 5 years ago that kept giving more things to grieve as each year passed following.
This year was different though - I didn’t remember those dates for that event, but in the weeks leading up, I felt more drained, fatigued, and depressed. Usually I realize why when Jan 24/25 arrives. Instead, I jammed packed those 2 days with tasks/chores/errands. And was relatively dissociated from what those dates mean to me and my body.

If it weren’t for a prompt in one of the Mighty groups about reflecting on 5years ago vs today, I would have carried on today as well as if my body was just more painful and sluggish for some unknown reason or the weather.
But it clicked in my head & I realized my body recognized even if my brain didn’t want to connect. While it feels like this would be progress, it feels more dissociative at this time - my body remembered & still feels the grief. Old wounds feel fresh during this timeframe. And I supposed it’s good that I have my weekly therapy session later today when having this newer grieving experience.

I’m still wondering though if this is really still me holding grief or if this is more related to my PTSD from this event?
I don’t expect anyone to have the answers - but I wanted to share my thoughts before I resume this disconnection to get my day started.
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**Edit & Update: My amazing therapist helped me identify exactly how I’ve been feeling and I am actually making progress in healing vs dissociating. It just was a new weird & unfamilar experience; I had not felt anything like this in years, if ever, and the closest I could identify it at first was it being as some level of dissociation. **

#MentalHealth #GriefIsntLinear #PTSD #Depression #Grief #Dissociation

I feel like I'm a tired shell who knows and recognizes what is around but has no wires attaching it to the surrounding.

I'm numb.

I interact with other people, but I feel like I'm not in my body. It doesn't mean I'm somewhere else. I just am not?
I'm not sure how to describe it, but I'm sure I'm very tired.

Does it happen to you to feel detached?
Or more detached when tired?

It happens very often to me but it seems that being tired stresses me too much.

#numbness #Identity #BPD #Dissociation #Depersonalization

Hello everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone has any skills they could share for coping with #Dissociation as a symptom of complex #Trauma . I've been in a dissociative state all day, and I think I am usually every day but for some reason I'm noticing it a lot today. I feel like time is jumping on me and everytime I look at the clock, hours have past that I don't really recall having happened. I don't know what's triggering it but I just feel like I'm not in my body, like things are just happening around me but I'm not really here.

This is a short story kinda about putting yourself first I don't know if I'm meant to put up story's here let me know if I need to take it down.

Application denied it's like they didn't even try to understand. I pick up the phone and request a teleporter come to come talk to me.

"It's absolutely ridiculous" he ranted before I could talk. "orb's are meant to help others not themselves.
You can have any power a human could want and you chose this?" I nod slightly annoyed as I had chosen this for a reason.

I had that look on the one that said you idiot. "I can add more powers later in life" I say "however right now this is what I need."

"BB-But" he spluttered, " you could really help other people."

I lose my temper now, snapping "look at me! In this hospital I can't leave this bed. Now tell me what use am I with strong powers if I can not leave this bed!"

He opens his mouth "ehh ehh excuse me one minute I just got too" … he teleports. Not long after I get an emailed apology and a successful application for a health boost.

#Depression #Autism #learningdisability #functionalneurologicaldisorder #goldenharsyndrome #ADHD #PTSD #Anxiety #Dissociation #ChronicPain #basilarinvagination (Basilar Invagination problem with spine and neck)

I share a trauma bond with my ex.....whom i broke up with twice already and now we're 'friends'. Even my friends have noticed and told me that i look drained every time i come back from meeting him. I start isolatinf myself and after a week of on and off staying over at his place, the day he left the city, i came back to my room and had a full blown hour long anxiety attack.
During the relationship, he would be all cute and ask me to buy him gifts, and keep them a surprise. I asked for gifts too, something small enough to carry around with me. Something that would remind me of him and help me ground myself.
After the break up, i have started giving my more gifts, buying randoms things for myself and asking him if he wants them. Today I asked him to order me dinner and surprise me. He was too tired to order me food and said he'll send me the money so i can order anything i want. I said no and added on (that he texted to me later) - "Oh yeah right you don't believe in gifts and gestures". Last night i realised i don't need gifts from him to feel appreciated and i apologised and called myself 'petty' for continuously asking for gifts (which i have still not gotten, NO GIFT IN OUR 9 MONTH LONG RELATIONSHIP).

My self esteem made me defend myself on how his taunt and blame are hurtful. I stood my ground and yet when the conversation ended, i had this intense fear and pain in my chest. I can't stop crying, I'm ducking angry and scared of him at the same time, yet i crave his kindness, validation and time. I keep going back. My therapist specifically told me not to be in contact with him, told me how and what aspects of my life he's affecting (negatively).

And yet i go back. A week, two weeks, three weeks of silence, withdrawal hits, i open my phone and type in his number. I'm so tired of this cyclical emotional abuse.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #AbusiveRelationship #Depression #Anxiety #Dissociation