dissociation

What’s it called when
It constantly feels like there’s something squeezing your heart so tight it gets hard to breathe.
Constantly feels like there’s absolutely nothing in your brain, it just wants to leak liquid from your eyes.
What do you call that?

Continuously feels like you’re on the outside of your brain, looking at the mouth automatically speaking for itself;
Constantly feels like little you wants to reach out, give a hug, say a nice thing, be helpful.
But doesn’t.
What do you call that?

Constantly feels like you want to punch something, anything, and scream so loud until your throat feels dry and scratchy.

Constantly feels like your heart is at war with itself, like your brain is sucked up and withered trying to survive.
Heart constantly sinking, down, down, down, til it doesn’t feel.
Brain constantly trying to have a thought, trying to find words, trying to find water so it isn’t sucked dry anymore, so it’s not just watching lips move, barely hearing the words come out of it. So automatic it sounds right.
But what do you call that?

What do you call the constant fog surrounding your brain, the constant darkness surrounding your heart, the numbness in your body while it feels everything; just wanting to feel the stinging pain that comes from a punch, a blade, or screaming cries.
What do you call that?
When the only consistency in your life comes from how much you don’t want to be in it?
When it’s constantly fighting the demons you thought were dead, over and over again.
Back down the rabbit hole. The hole you thought you buried long ago.
The black demon you thought got buried with all those pills.
The red demon that was supposedly tamed, with all those meds.
They’re back.
And I don’t know what to call them anymore.
I don’t know how to feel.
I don’t know how to explain.
Just sinking, down, the dark, deep, black hole.
What do you call that

#Trauma #Depression #Dissociation #Bipolar2 #MentalHealth #MightyPoets #BipolarDisorder #Grief #PTSD

I’ve walked through the void and forgot who I was.
Now I’m slowly remembering.

I’m healing from dissociation, nervous system collapse, and the kind of trauma that breaks your spirit open.

Some days I still feel like a ghost.
But there’s something sacred in this return.
I don’t fully know who I am yet—but I know I’m not who I was.

If you’re rebuilding your soul too, you’re not alone.
#Trauma #DepersonalizationDisorder
#Dissociation #DerealizationDisorder
#PTSD #rebirth
#TraumaHealingJourney
#sacredfeminine
#NervousSystemHealing
#SheWhoReturns
#ReclaimingMyself
#SlowAndSacred
#TenderIsPower

My therapist diagnosed me with #AnorexiaNervosa (Nos). I have been restricting for awhile now and I am obsessing over the scale and I fear of getting fat. I’m constantly weighing myself. I just don’t want to be who I was when I was married. I lost a lot of weight when I stopped drinking soda and since I walk every day. Since started Caplyta I been dropping weight. I also reversed my #Diabetes so that was good.

Hi, my name is rearips. I'm looking for anyone with DID, please. I'm a teenager and I have been diagnosed with DID. I'll be honest and say I had no clue DID was a thing- I thought it was fake. Only a few months after I got diagnosed I realized it was real and that's what my alters were trying to say. My therapist teaches me about terms like dissociation and switching and I learned more online. I don't know where to go because nobody is really... with me? I feel alone. I'm in the Middle East so basically learning about mental health is non existent. If you have this please talk to me. I never used this it automatically put some of these tags.

#MightyTogether #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder #OCD #Grief #PTSD #DID #Dissociation #DissociationDisorders #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

I have struggled with suicide ideation off and on for the past 20 years. It doesn’t happen every month of every year . The same goes for waves of low points and during those low points thoughts can be very dark. I don’t know if any of you dissociate for no reason even when you’re not under stress. For me, it happens randomly, and I feel like I am observing myself just go through the motions. Do any of you relate?

For the past few years, I dreaded Jan 24th/Jan 25 - these mark the anniversary of my biggest loss; one event 5 years ago that kept giving more things to grieve as each year passed following.
This year was different though - I didn’t remember those dates for that event, but in the weeks leading up, I felt more drained, fatigued, and depressed. Usually I realize why when Jan 24/25 arrives. Instead, I jammed packed those 2 days with tasks/chores/errands. And was relatively dissociated from what those dates mean to me and my body.

If it weren’t for a prompt in one of the Mighty groups about reflecting on 5years ago vs today, I would have carried on today as well as if my body was just more painful and sluggish for some unknown reason or the weather.
But it clicked in my head & I realized my body recognized even if my brain didn’t want to connect. While it feels like this would be progress, it feels more dissociative at this time - my body remembered & still feels the grief. Old wounds feel fresh during this timeframe. And I supposed it’s good that I have my weekly therapy session later today when having this newer grieving experience.

I’m still wondering though if this is really still me holding grief or if this is more related to my PTSD from this event?
I don’t expect anyone to have the answers - but I wanted to share my thoughts before I resume this disconnection to get my day started.
***********************

**Edit & Update: My amazing therapist helped me identify exactly how I’ve been feeling and I am actually making progress in healing vs dissociating. It just was a new weird & unfamilar experience; I had not felt anything like this in years, if ever, and the closest I could identify it at first was it being as some level of dissociation. **

#MentalHealth #GriefIsntLinear #PTSD #Depression #Grief #Dissociation

I feel like I'm a tired shell who knows and recognizes what is around but has no wires attaching it to the surrounding.

I'm numb.

I interact with other people, but I feel like I'm not in my body. It doesn't mean I'm somewhere else. I just am not?
I'm not sure how to describe it, but I'm sure I'm very tired.

Does it happen to you to feel detached?
Or more detached when tired?

It happens very often to me but it seems that being tired stresses me too much.

#numbness #Identity #BPD #Dissociation #Depersonalization

Hello everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone has any skills they could share for coping with #Dissociation as a symptom of complex #Trauma . I've been in a dissociative state all day, and I think I am usually every day but for some reason I'm noticing it a lot today. I feel like time is jumping on me and everytime I look at the clock, hours have past that I don't really recall having happened. I don't know what's triggering it but I just feel like I'm not in my body, like things are just happening around me but I'm not really here.

This is a short story kinda about putting yourself first I don't know if I'm meant to put up story's here let me know if I need to take it down.

Application denied it's like they didn't even try to understand. I pick up the phone and request a teleporter come to come talk to me.

"It's absolutely ridiculous" he ranted before I could talk. "orb's are meant to help others not themselves.
You can have any power a human could want and you chose this?" I nod slightly annoyed as I had chosen this for a reason.

I had that look on the one that said you idiot. "I can add more powers later in life" I say "however right now this is what I need."

"BB-But" he spluttered, " you could really help other people."

I lose my temper now, snapping "look at me! In this hospital I can't leave this bed. Now tell me what use am I with strong powers if I can not leave this bed!"

He opens his mouth "ehh ehh excuse me one minute I just got too" … he teleports. Not long after I get an emailed apology and a successful application for a health boost.

#Depression #Autism #learningdisability #functionalneurologicaldisorder #goldenharsyndrome #ADHD #PTSD #Anxiety #Dissociation #ChronicPain #basilarinvagination (Basilar Invagination problem with spine and neck)