depersonalization

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Disclaimer: I am not asking for any medical or professional advice.

This is something I have been struggling with for most of my life and I thought this was a good place to learn something at least. I have never been able to truly tell anyone about “myself”. Whenever someone asks me I always draw a blank. Same goes for if someone asks me what my favorite color, food, hobby etc.. is I almost envision this white blank wall in my mind and it’s disheartening because it’s hard for me to answer basic questions about myself. This is also present in other places in my life such as my career and it has made some big impacts. It also affects how I view my habits, how I function and the fact that I always have to rely on how other people see me.

To clarify, I have been diagnosed MDD, GAD and ADHD. I’m hoping to take this to a therapist/professional at some point but I am unable to do so due to financial strains.

Any input would really help ❤️

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Community Voices

Weird DPDR symptom?

Hey guys,
I’m a little nervous to post this because I haven’t heard of anyone else with this specific symptom and because I also struggle with OCD/anxiety, it makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve also been diagnosed with depression and DPDR. So the weird symptom is that when I feel really stressed sometimes I feel like there’s a little me observing myself from the inside (specifically the left side) of my brain. It kind of feel like my consciousness has moved to the side and that I’m a small version of myself operating a robot (aka my body). But because I also have OCD, I become hyper focused on this symptom and when my anxiety is bad I can convince myself that I’m crazy or losing my mind or schizophrenic. It really freaks me out. But I’ve never lost touch with reality I just feel really weird and frustrated. I’d love to hear some feedback and to see if anyone else has ever felt this way? It would mean a lot to me to know I’m not alone in this. Thanks for reading 🙂 #dpdr #weirdsymptoms #OCD #Depression #Depersonalization #Derealization #feelalone

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Anyone have good ressources specific to DP/DR to share?

Looking if people have good recommendations for specifically adressing and treating DP/DR … i.e. books, workbooks, videos, exercises… etc. #Depersonalization #Derealization #Anxiety

Community Voices

Hi everyone! #Depersonalization

Hey! Whoever is reading this I hope you're fine and at ease! My name is Ayoub, I am 24, and I am from Morocco. This is my first time on this website, and I'm here to share a personal reflection about my condition. Honestly, I haven't been diagnosed yet, but my symptoms match Depersonalization Disorder. I'm not sure yet, and I'm kindly looking for an opinion based on what you're going to read below. Thank you!

I've been living beneath too many masks for so long, and now I have no idea who I am or what I've become. I question whom my thoughts, feelings, and emotions belong to. I question their origins and realiness. Am I what I believe I am or Am I not? Am I a real person with a coherent identity? Or am I a dream in my mind, an actor in a movie? I just wonder how can I know what I want if I cannot know who I am. How can I exist properly in the world, yet I am completely detached from it. It is a form of a double alienation because I'm self-alienated and alienated from the world. Again, I'm not certain about how true these feelings are, but I experience them everyday. Everything to me feels surreal and far away. Although I partake in actions, they all seem mechanic, dull, and habitual. It is like the agency over myself, actions, and behavior is hijacked by someone else outside of me while I'm trapped within in a dark corner helpless and clueless. It is like being a puppet controlled by a puppeteer. The only difference is that I am aware while the puppet isn't.

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Community Voices

Unpresent (A poem)

I feel like I’m watching the world
happen around me.
Distant from my body,
leagues and leagues under the black sea
bewildered by the brilliant bioluminous lights. Or
in the cold choke of space,
floating through little diamonds
and pinprick stars. Far.
Away.
D i s c o n n e c t e d.
i
s
c
o
n
n
e
c
t
e
d.

#Dissassociation #Derealization #Depersonalization

Community Voices

Depersonalization Cause?

<p>Depersonalization Cause?</p>
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Community Voices

The Cage by Elarhyse Welgemoed Morton

<p>The Cage by Elarhyse Welgemoed Morton</p>
2 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices
Dan

I was a workaholic. I was putting it over 60 hrs a week some weeks. I used work as a way to distract my mind. Then my mind couldn't handle it anymore. The traumas I endured before I could even form sentences have begun creeping through the cracks like sludge. I can't go to work. The lights, the noise, the crowd each sends off alarms in my mind. I look at my hands searching for a hint of realness. There is none.
I feel my mouth move, there are words but I don't know what they are. I'm reminded of how there was a time I only babbled, a time before words were tangible, when I was young. My friend laughs, I must have said something funny but it was lost to my own ears. I can't understand him, I feel sick to my stomach, my own language lost to my mind. My muscles twitch subtly, a reminder of my daily medication -a side effect of trying to heal.
My job began to slip away from me - now I'm not even there. I'm home, stretched out on my office futon waiting for phone calls. Desperate the heal, so unsure of what to do. I don't know what to do. I meditate, I do yoga, it helps in the moment and when I leave my room I settle back into dissociation - a default setting 15 years strong.
I search online for online support, zoom meetings, groups, forums, chat rooms, therapists - I can't do this alone. I'm in over my head. My girlfriend watched my struggles with love, and promise that it's okay that I struggle. But to myself I feel like a failure. I can't work, what good am #Depression #Work #Anxiety #dissociativedisorders #Depersonalization
#Derealization #tired #depressed #MentalHealth #Unsure

11 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Dan

I feel so tired.

Trying to come out of dissociation and my mind and body are wrecked by over stimulation. I've been in dissociation consistently for over 15 years. I can't remember all of my trauma and I have dissociative amnesia. It's all been getting worse. I thought I had a handle on my symptoms but it was just that my brain was enveloping me in such a deep dissociative state that I didn't have much to have to fight. Now, its all hitting me at once. I don't know what to do or where to start. I feel utterly helpless and useless. I can't go into walmart without being overwhelmed and over stimulated. I don't know what to do. When I was told about the Mighty I felt a little bit of peace knowing there are others that are fighting mental health battles like me. I'm faced with anxiety and depression and trauma and ptsd. Thanks for reading

#Dissociation #Depression #Anxiety #overwhelmed #overstimulated #Depersonalization #Derealization #MentalIllness #Trauma #MentalHealth

21 people are talking about this