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Why did you decided to pick fights over done laundry? Or when you broke up with the women you just married, and tried to leave the hospital with out her? Or when your ruined her 40th birthday? You left her broken after she did everything she could to keep you alive. She loved you so much and discarded her like trash. Then, you chose to make up lies about her. You are a narcissist who used her. You told her "I only married you because I thought I was going to die". That is a horrible thing to do to a person who truly did love you. It shattered her heart. She has no want to try to love again.

How can you claim "Teach with love" when you physically restrained her and screamed "LEARN TO EAT SHIT!" in her face. You are such a narcissistic control freak.

What about the time your daughter was asking you to be a better Mom, like her deceased Step-mom. Your response to your daughter "Well, look how that turned out for her!" You were purposely spiteful.

Why did you choose to replace a woman who wanted to do better, and be better? You choose your X (who you are never going to divorce now). Your X went to jail for domestic violence and now you want her back in your life. Why do you lie to yourself and the ones who want to love you? You punish them because you cannot love your self. Why can't you love yourself?

You put up a false narrative to everyone here. You choose to be a victim in your life. (Your health issues are real, you just treat the people who love you horribly)

You claim everyone leaves you. No one left. Each of us had to put up a wall to protect ourselves from you and your anger.
#I am not okay



I just made the realization a few days ago that because of my healing journey from narcissist abuse, I kind of see my life ahead of me as a “clear, open road”. Not in a sense where I don’t know what to do next, but in a way that I can explore my options with what I want to do next and not be overly concerned with the “outside voices “. I’m beginning to feel grateful for the rejections I went through with people of my past. It really does feel like I’m growing up and starting over at the same time because I just now realized that I missed out on a lot over the years, but I feel that I am in a different place from the road that I felt that I was supposed to be on. The ptsd aspect has been on the uptick recently which is strange. I’ve been having multiple ptsd nightmares and on Saturday, something was said that made my whole body just tighten up. Hopefully, I’ll have an appointment with a therapist soon because I still have a lot of questions. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CPTSD #Nightmares #Healing #narcissistabuse

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I know who I am! And I am hiding. Waiting for the most important move.

I have to show up for myself. No one is obligated. I do want to do things. #invisibledisabilities #narcissistabuse


Dealing w/Narcissistic ‘Daughter in law’

I am at a loss. I live with my son (18) and his gf (17). I am on disability due to mental and physical illness and feel like I am trapped in hell. I stay in my room and she still verbally attacks me. I stood up for myself tonight and she had my son turn off the power in my room. She calls me a bad mother, lazy, irresponsible, abusive and a pushover. My son won’t leave or stand up for me. She tells people I don’t pay rent and eat all her food which is a complete lie. She is only nice to me when she needs something. She has a 9 month old that I fell in love with and to ‘punish me’ she won’t let me near him. I am almost 50 and have been on my own since I was 18. I have worked a stable job for 31 years and only recently gone on disability. I pay my bills (as much as I can on my limited income) and do not sponge off anyone…ever. This girl is a master manipulator, a professional victim at 17. At my lowest, she attacks where it hurts the most. I have to get out. Anyone out there experience this? #narcissistabuse

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Surviving a narcissistic Marriage and Severe Mental Illness 4of 4 #narcissistabuse #SupportTeam #Mentalillnessfeelslike

I will make it. I am a born survivor. I sincerely want to thank all of those people helping me, and I hope thst by telling my “not so perfect recovery story from a narcissistic relationship and with mental illness,” that someone reading this who is hopeless, trapped or also on a rocky road, may gain a glimmer of hope. My story is not over, for my life has just begun!


Surviving Narcissistic Marriage & Severe Mental Illness 3of3 #narcissistabuse #SupportTeam #Mentalillnessfeelslike

My ten-year-old dog had been very ill the last few months before I made the move to live with my parents, and two weeks before I moved, he died in my arms. I was devastated. My parents and oldest brother rushed down to be with me, for the day, and arrange to bury him.
After making the move to my new town, I was Baker Acted twice within a month. The second time, I was put in an excellent psychiatric hospital, where for the first time in my life, they treated me, instead of just housing me. I was reassessed and re-diagnosed with numerous mental illnesses, PTSD, and several personality disorders. I was overwhelmed, but at the same time very hopeful to finally KNOW what was wrong with me and slowly started learning how I could be treated, I started working on myself, and having hope that I was capable of having a meaningful life.
I was in the hospital 19 days. Upon release, I again became unstable, but with my team, who I kept thanks to zoom, and because of the support of my family, I was determined not to give up.
My story is ever evolving, but my purpose for writing it was to say I’m still here. I was in a long term relationship with a narcissist. I was totally isolated and dependent. I was able to gain the courage to leave. I’ve had a very rocky time the last year. I have had to go on food stamps, go to food pantries to ensure I have enough food to eat, I’ve been in need of soup kitchen’s at times. I buy a few clothes here and there at thrift stores. I don’t have my own transportation for the first time since I was 16-years-old, but I am here. I am a stronger person than I ever knew. I have the strongest team and supporting people in my life than I ever could have dreamed for. I have found resources on zoom which have helped me immensely, including staying in close touch with my religious group back where I lived, and gaining new very supportive and selfless people in my life through my SKY meditation class. The SKY meditation program and the Art of Living Foundation with Guradev Sri Sri Shankar’s guidance has proven to be a game changer. Right now, I still am struggling terribly, with my illnesses, my emotional landscape, and my not yet regulated emotions. I get severely depressed and “feel” hopeless. I have intrusive thoughts and images. I have nightmares. I finally feel I am at a turning point. I am starting to trust people. I am reaching out for help. The LEOS are my friends, and go way beyond their job description to aid me both in living and in my recovery. My team never quits. My family loves me. I am in the process getting a service dog as I am on waiting list. I am currently still unstable, but I feel a definite shift. I can’t say I’ll never be baker acted again, because of the nature and severity of my illnesses, but I can say that I believe radical change for the better is about to take place. I should say, radical change is already taking place, but the path to success definitely has peaks and valleys up the mountain, but UP!


Surviving Narcissistic Marriage & Severe Mental Illness 2 of 3 #narcissistabuse #SupportTeam #Mentalillnessfeelslike

That was a year ago. This year, I’ve been in jail and Baker Acted 6 times because of the stress, my illness, and my feelings of loss and hopelessness which caused me to have unclear thinking, poor decision making and to attempt suicide twice. I had many blessings in my life during this time though as well. I started discovering what my core values are, I reconnected with my estranged family, I started to learn how to go into grocery stores and department stores for the first time in many years. I started cooking for myself, cleaning the apartment I obtained,taking care of my needs and my dogs needs and getting to therapy and psych appts for my medication.
The one thing which enabled me to take such a huge step out of my comfort zone was my team- my team was my rock solid. I had come to trust my team as the first people I had trusted to a high degree probably since I was 7. My team was made up of my PsyD, my psych ARNP, my medical doctor, and my clergy leader. I had started working with this team 4-5 years prior. I also had joined the local police program for special needs, and had forged a strong relationship with Law Enforcement Officers.
Four months after moving out, I finalized my divorce. I had to get no stalking protection against my ex-husband because he was not accepting my decision to divorce him. He was bent on “getting me back at all costs,” which included using other people against me, writing nasty letters to my family, threatening my doctors, and provoking me and instigating me, which always ended up in me de-compensating and ultimately being Baker Acted again.
A year after I left, my life was starting to unravel more and more. I had spent one whole tear in an apartment with my dog, alone, never seeing or talking to anyone, not having transportation, and only getting out to go to therapy twice a week. I was slapped with felony charges after getting despondent and trying to commit suicide by cop. I was put into the mental health care diversion program, and suddenly had a whole bunch of people supervising me and running my life. I was expected to appear in front of the judge at the court house in person twice a month, and follow a bunch of guidelines, which I was not used to doing.
With mental health courts ok, I made the decision to leave the beach and move away from my ex-husband and where I now considered my home, to move 4 hours away to live with my parents, who graciously offered me a place to stay. With my family back in my life, after years of estrangement, I started feeling the love that I had never quite been able to feel for many years. My relationship with my oldest brother, got rock solid, my relationship with my parents became open and close, although strained from all of us trying to change our lifestyles to accommodate living together, and my relationship with my other brother, while still shaky, became treasured to me again.
#narcissistabuse #SupportTeam #Mentalillnessfeelslike

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Surviving Narcissistic Marriage and Severe Mental Illness Part 1 #narcissistabuse #Mentalillnessfeelslike #SupportTeam #followme

The past two years, my life has been turned upside down. I suffered through the last year of my marriage under extreme duress, as I tried to get strong enough to leave my controlling narcissist husband. A year ago, I finally made the decision to leave my marriage of 16 years, despite still loving my husband, and knowing how much he tried to love me, but couldn’t because of his illness. I left because of the narcissistic abuse, him isolating me from everyone I had ever had in my life, mine and my dog’s safety, as well as my being stuck in a place of having to violate my true moral code and values to live in that household. I
I gave up having all the money in the world at my disposal, being able to travel internationally or to expensive resorts whenever I wanted, having an unlimited source of money, having a brand new expensive car given to me every other year, having jewelery, shopping sprees etc.
The years before I left, I tried marriage counseling, I pleaded with my husband to get help, and did everything to avoid the inevitable. My husband assured me, that if I left him I wouldn’t get a penny. I am mental disabled, and I knew he was serious, so the decision to leave loomed heavily on me.
The series of events that forced me to make the decision to really leave, despite being totally dependent and never having taken care of myself or lived alone, had to do with my husband putting my dog’s life and safety at risk numerous times over several days, then the night before we were supposed to leave on a $20,000 Caribbean Penthouse cruise, he called me very derogatory names for the last time that I was willing to tolerate, and he punched me forcefully, in the face.
I had packed the car for our two week cruise, but somehow at that moment, I had a strength not my own, which finally broke through my fear of him, and I stood up to him. I did not stand up to him physically or verbally. Instead, I unpacked my stuff from the car, separated our passports etc., gave him all of the paperwork he needed for the cruise, and told him I was not going. Long story short, after not believing me, to begging, pleading and promising to change once again; I did not go on cruise. He left the next day. I immediately called my brother, who rushed down to my city, packed up all of my stuff and put me up in an extended stay motel a city over from mine, in order for me to still be able to see my mental health team.
By that point, I was so isolated from everyone I had known, including my own friends and family because of my husband’s abuse by proxy, and him forcing everyone out of my life, so he could have me dependent and to himself, that I did not know anyone in my city or within 100 miles except a few people at my religious organization and my health care team. My dog and I started a new life, alone and with no resources, except hatefully for my big brothers assistance, to help me until I could figure out a way to survive.