Dramaqueen

It’s silly how difficult depression is and you try to reach out for help but then no one believes you because they think you’re just being a drama queen. There are times i really want to succeed in my attempts just to show then this is real.

I never comment on things like this but one having a really rough night. Grandpa died last night and husband and I had a big fight. Grandpa has a loving wife, children, and grandkids that were with him when he died. My husband doesn’t want kids but he did when we were dating, and even gave exceptions as little as a few months ago (his friend needs to donate the sperm - husband won’t love the kid if it’s adopted or from an unknown sperm donor).

Anyway, contemplating and planning suicide because I feel like I failed as a wife, I’ll never be able to remarry if this relationship doesn’t work, and I really don’t want to die alone. From professional and personal experience patients I’ve seen that patients with family support recover more quickly or die more peacefully and I would just really like people I know and love to be with me when I die. If I can’t have that then I just want to go now and get it over with.

Sorry for being a #Dramaqueen , I’m just really confused and overwhelmed.