executivefunctioning

All of our plans fell through cuz I was too sick and in too much pain. And now my vision is doubled and painful. I need to take a shower but I just don't have any spoons. Im exhausted and really hurting. Im hungry but I don't want to go get food from the kitchen. I really am craving Qdoba. I haven't ordered food from doordash since before Pauley moved in, which is over a year! Im so hungry.
I need to shower. Im a stinky puppy. But if it was just me here I'd probably just go run some water for mooshing my armpits. I absolutely hate taking a shower. I have fallen in my shower twice in the last year and I didn't tell her. I asked her to order some slip proof stickers for the bathtub. Except she has no money. So I guess I gotta order it.
Im tired of being an adult. But I don't have supplies for being little. *Sigh*
#executivefunctioning

I’m #makingprogess towards my goal of having a clean apartment. This has been an uphill struggle for me. But I make myself do dishes and scoop the cat litter five days a week no matter how tired I feel. Many times it’s hard to remember what was so difficult about it. But some days it’s still a struggle. I use the app unf*** your habitat, and it gives me motivation like “You can nap when you’re done “ or “It’s never as difficult as it seems “. Tonight it was difficult to get motivated. I’d been feeling blah all day, and I was/am sleepy because I didn’t take a nap. But I knew I was so close to having a score of 100%, so I pushed myself. And it really wasn’t too bad. The two days a week I give myself off from cleaning are to account for when I have really bad days or just no energy. And I’d already used them up for this week.

I posted about this before when I was at about 80%. But here I am. Succeeding. My next habit to work on will be picking up clutter, and I’m currently around 65% for that.

This is a screenshot of an app I’m using to work on habits, especially cleaning. As you can see, I’ve been doing a lot better since December. This is something I’ve struggled with my whole life and it has even almost gotten me evicted from my apartment. I even used to have a home health aid for cleaning. It’s been the topic of countless therapy sessions and at 41, I thought I’d never get better. That it was a skill I couldn’t learn because of my executive functioning issues. But here I am. Now it’s hard to remember what was so difficult about it. For anyone struggling with this, there is hope.

Posted this on Twitter so thought I'd best post it here too. Don't forget to take/order your meds if you need to!

#actuallyautistic #Autism #ASD #executivefunctioning #Neurodiversity