I know that I’ll be struggling with how I feel physically this weekend. I got a bad cat bite last weekend and the antibiotics are takings their toll on me and I’m on them through Monday.
When I don’t feel good I struggle because I always feeling good. When I’m not feeling well, I feel sad and feel I’m missing things. I also find that I cry for my husband and my Father who died 9 months apart from a quick spreading cancer nearly a decade ago. My husband was 49 years old - high school sweetheart (pancreatic cancer - 7 weeks) my dad, (my hero) 75, lung cancer, 4 weeks. Just as I was mourning my dad, my husband started not feeling great. They left swiftly and very ill. I’ve long mastered the flashbacks but when I’m sick, I want one or both of them. I’m nearly 59 and and those core human needs remain..as they should. I’m only human.
Anyway, anticipating a struggle, I’ve made ice with my Ice maker to sip on some nice cold drinks, got my new Debbie McComber novel ready, got my laundry done and all my errands and switched shifts at work. I also have at least 20 ty notes to write and just maybe (SURPRISE) the antibiotics won’t hit me as hard as they usually do on day 5.
My point is, I know myself, when I know that illness is coming, I prepare…and I get through it more like a luxurious retreat than a sad, dark, miserable weekend. I’ve trained myself these past years. When you lose half of your heart, you learn to embrace the struggle 😊