failing

I rarely get on here anymore but I had to get this down somewhere. I was just on Facebook and saw my sister-in-law posted 57 pictures from the birthday party for my 5 yr old niece. (Although they knew I wouldn't come, and they live 2 hours away it's nice to be invited but I wasn't). My niece, dressed as Belle (I think the yellow dress Disney character) had a tiara, and a young lady dressed as Belle come to her party and do twirling ribbons, face painting, etc. All in their backyard with the fire pit designed by my brother and featured in Good Housekeeping going next to the sparkling pool. My brother and his wife both make 6 and 7 figures, I'm not mad at them for living awesome. But it made me think of my own sons 5th birthday (he's 15 now) and it still has me bawling like it was yesterday and makes my heart ache. 4 days prior to that I had the SWAT team at our home for 3 hours waiting on his dad to come out. I had no money as I was a SAHM and he took his money to jail with him. I had a Vanilla cake mix I had gotten from the food pantry and I had to ask the neighbor for an egg just to make it because I was so broke I couldn't afford any. The candle I used was one i had found on the top shelf in the cabinet the previous renter had left. I'll never be able to have what they have and fuck I could've gone without seeing that. It just hurts.
#Depression #neverenough #failing

I am dealing with one of the biggest battles of my depression and anxiety I have had yet. I feel like im falling and drowning within my own head and i feel like im taking everyone around down with me. I feel like everything i do is wrong and that i am failing at even the simplest of things because i am stuck in my own head, my anger, guilt. I feel broken. I feel ive completely failed my wife and am failing in my marriage. I want to give up #Inadequate #Insecure #whatswrongwithme #Drowning #failing #Falling #help #Demons

I'm new here and my sister in law pointed me in the direction of The Mighty. For the past 2 weeks I have felt at my lowest point possible. I hated going to work and when I was there I was unhappy, I argued with my partner all the time and when we didn't argue, I just didn't speak. The weekend just gone is when it all got too much. From Friday night I started to cry and just couldn't stop.
Being diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I have received CBT and sometimes the techniques work, but most the time they don't! More often than not, I find myself parked somewhere quiet so I can cry in private. Failing that, I stand and cry when I am in the shower. I find it hard to reach out and tell people how I am feeling... I hate to feel like I am failing. #Depression #Anxiety #ItsOkNotToBeOk #Support #cry #failing

about two years ago I ended a relationship with a person after months of cheating and verbal/emotional abuse. I lost trust in a lot of people and I lost the trust in myself that I could be good enough for someone. I met someone about 7 months ago and he treats me like I’m the most amazing person in the world, he’s caring and sweet and makes me so happy and I actually do trust him.. but I find myself falling into a hole of how do I trust myself when I try to say I am good enough and I deserve this? My brain almost doesn’t want to believe it’s true and it makes me doubt everything.. #Anxiety #Trust #failing

I am sitting here looking at my computer and thinking of my laptop and how I now never turn them on.
I was always using them, always researching subjects. Always doing something to keep going. Now I just sit and look at them gathering dust. I am so angry with myself for allowing it to get this bad. #PTSD #Cronic pain