Had to say this somewhere
I rarely get on here anymore but I had to get this down somewhere. I was just on Facebook and saw my sister-in-law posted 57 pictures from the birthday party for my 5 yr old niece. (Although they knew I wouldn't come, and they live 2 hours away it's nice to be invited but I wasn't). My niece, dressed as Belle (I think the yellow dress Disney character) had a tiara, and a young lady dressed as Belle come to her party and do twirling ribbons, face painting, etc. All in their backyard with the fire pit designed by my brother and featured in Good Housekeeping going next to the sparkling pool. My brother and his wife both make 6 and 7 figures, I'm not mad at them for living awesome. But it made me think of my own sons 5th birthday (he's 15 now) and it still has me bawling like it was yesterday and makes my heart ache. 4 days prior to that I had the SWAT team at our home for 3 hours waiting on his dad to come out. I had no money as I was a SAHM and he took his money to jail with him. I had a Vanilla cake mix I had gotten from the food pantry and I had to ask the neighbor for an egg just to make it because I was so broke I couldn't afford any. The candle I used was one i had found on the top shelf in the cabinet the previous renter had left. I'll never be able to have what they have and fuck I could've gone without seeing that. It just hurts.
#Depression #neverenough #failing