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I've had to talk my way out of depression...

Walk my way out...

Laugh my way out, jokingly.

I've tried to lie my way out & pry my way out;

You always find me!

Even when I hide behind others, things, drinks, clouds of smoke, lust & mistrust, silence and chaos,

You seem to always find me.

I often wonder if you ever visit anyone else besides myself?

Nevertheless, we've become fond friends; depression & me.

You no longer scared me & I never frightened you, clearly.

We learned to love each other & coexist...

In reality & amongst the abyss.

Some days when I seemed too happy to be true,

Depression, I looked for you. 🌖

#Depression #laugh#cry

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices

Good morning, have a blessed day.#Goodmorning #Happyday

I wake up feeling tired still. I also wake up feeling #sad for some reason. A tiny feeling of good old #Anxiety Today is looking to be a gloomy day. It could clear. Today is a free day. I have nothing going on. I almost feel like i could #cry . I don't really feel #Depression . I just feel really low mood. Some days i have times i look back on thinking of stuff i like to forget forever,#moody

#blah

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Community Voices

I found something about myself today

I found something about myself today.

Since I was a teenager, my biggest nightmare was something I called "aam zindagi" which translates to "common life". In the nightmare, I was an unaccomplished person who was married to someone who didn't love me, I had two kids I never wanted, and I was just a housewife whose job was to cook and clean only.

A lot jas happened since then. A person whom I loved who didn't love me back and my resulting inability to love anyone else, my battles with loneliness, the war I fought (and am still fighting) with anxiety and depression, grandmother's cancer, my father who said I have no rights to the childhood home I grew up in, my mother's constant screaming, my brother who has a low IQ and ADHD which makes it difficult for him fo study and be normal (I'm always worried about his future), and the 35 bmi that I now have because of stress eating, hair fall, the constant tension headaches which seem to come and go as per their will, and the fact that I am 24 now and soon I'll have to either marry someone (arranged only since for love marriage you need to have someone whom you love and who loves you) or be a lonely woman in the near future.

I could not fully understand why was I triggered by the word "marriage", but now I do. It seems to be the last step in making my actual life "aam zindagi". A life I used to once consider worse than death itself.

But I did something different today too. I walked and talked with a guy I met on Tinder for nearly 4 hours, I reconnected with a college friend, and I finally made up my mind and finally made up my mind to say no to someone with whom I didn't want to spend time with but was kinda forcing myself.

I know the college friend won't be there in my life forever, and the Tinder guy I met today is, well maybe a little cute yes (and I can kinda imagine kissing him), won't be able to help scare my loneliness away. After the call with my college friend I listened to "One More Light" and cried. I cried and understood my fear of the word "marriage", why is that a trigger for me. I finally admitted to myself that I want friends and I want someone to love me, someone I love as well. And it might sound needy, but we as humans need a social network to thrive.

I don't know what this realization means and what I gotta do now. But I know a little more about myself today. I really hope that one day I am free of this fear of loneliness and be happy. The current image I have is surrounded by friends, resting after a day of fun with my head on my lover's chest. I don't know if this image is correct, needy, unrealistic, or what but I hope that one day I'm as happy as I look like in that image.

Brain's empty now. I love reading people's comments and thoughts so feel free to do so. 🤗
Forgive any typos, I didn't review this one before writing.

#Loneliness #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #cry #nightmare #scaryfuture #idk

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Community Voices

Random acts of #Love or #Kindness make me #cry uncontrollably. Every single time, everything is entirely too emotional. #why ? Why do I do this? Am I #alone ?

Community Voices

Im crying so bad i couldnt stop

im crying so bad. so tonight i told my ex that im ending our conversation and im no longer gonna disturb him. it was so tough for me to say all those. i texted him whilst crying. only god knows how much i miss him and love him so much. he kept telling me to change to start praying and all which i dont do bc of my depression it makes me tired to get up and have no energy. but he dont understand me. n he keep asking me to change. the reason he left me was bc of these too. he said to me how he hopes that i changed so he could be together with me and that hurts me to be honest. i had to end the convo was bc he keep saying hes tired to fight with me, he's this and that. i love him so much and miss him a lot..i cant stop crying.. someone help me. how i wish he came back and talk to me. now what is left is memory. and it keeps playing in my mind. he was such a good bf, he treated me good someone pls talk to me. #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #cry

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Community Voices
21 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Lou

4 months! Unbelievable #Depression #Selfharm

I am clean today for 4 months 19 hours 38 minutes and 24 seconds

I'm still only doing this till my birthday which is in...35 days. It's my 18th birthday and cuz I hate my birthday I organized my Dentist appointment at that day lol. I'm going to have such toothache afterwards and no time for anything else. What a coincidence.
I want to cry and live my mental break downs on that day. I'm just going to feel sorry for myself that day because I have noone I can be absolutely honest with. Sad isn't it? BUT STOP! It will only be a pity in 35 days.

When is your birthday? #Birthday #Depression #Selfharm #cry #lol

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I recently discovered I’m an empath are their anymore?

Recently learned I’m and empath, which made so much about life make since. Let’s meet, let’s chat, let’s be friends! #empath #cry #DailyCry #illmakeitoutalive

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