Over the past few weeks my health has been the worst its ever been .I am suffering justnow with sever covid , pneumonia, sepsis and damage to my liver and lungs .
This is on top of my usual daily spells of endometriosis flaring up, my anxiety and depression.
I am just out of hospital in the high dependency unit and I am on strict bed rest. I haven't been able to be round the little ones due to all of this and they're not home from their dad until Monday now also due to my isolation period.
I know myself this is best as theyl be having the time of their lives and lots of attention they don't always get the luxury off with being able to spend so much time with their dad due to his work, I know I could cope looking after them at home anyway as I can barely move or take care of myself rightness. BUT as much as I know this is best ,the fact I am struggling so much health wise that little voice in my head has decided to flare up and I have all these feelings of sadness and guilt as though I'm failing as a mummy , as though my body's failing me to be the mummy I usually am ,everything just feels very heightened right now because of how run down I am .I know now I have to take this time to rest , recover and try and get myself back to me again and I can only do that when I accept that I have to do self care , self love and self appreciation knowing that yes I'm struggling justnow but my body has got me through it all and more....I have to stop punishing myself for being so unwell just now and stop letting those things get in my head that I am failing or not a good mum because I've needed this time where I haven't been with them.
I need to remember I am no use to anyone especially them if I don't look after myself first and make sure I am OK .
It is just so much easier said than done and I am feeling very all over the place justnow...
I need to remember I AM ENOUGH & I DO MATTER but unless I let my body rest and recover and do what it needs in whatever time it takes to do it I am only going to make myself worse.
Does anyone else feel like this? Or be too hard on yourself as a parent????
#Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Bekind #youmatter #Selfcare #loveyourself #COVID19 #ChildLoss #recover #ItsOkNotToBeOk #everydayparenting #Parenting