firstday

Today was My first day at work and it wasn't horrible !!

So I started my treatment plan today. I was expecting to feel differently to the way I do if I'm honest. I thought I would feel much worse. But actually, I feel OK 😌. It is obviously the first day of the rest of my life, but I feel much more liberated. Fingers crossed everything keeps going well, or better than planned.
#firstday #BPD #positivementalattitude

Hey guys,
So I think I posted about this last night but I started my new job today!
I woke up this morning, and I survived my ‘nearly’ panic attack. I tossed and turned all night, I didn’t even feel nervous/anxious but the physical symptoms were showing. I was up every few hours going to the toilet because I had an upset stomach.

When I eventually woke up properly and got out of bed, I went to the toilet again... and I felt incredibly sick like I described in one of my last points, and my heart was beating out of my chest almost like I was going to die. But... although this happened, I rode it out like a BOSS! I didn’t panic about it, I didn’t think too much about it. I literally got myself together and pushed every single emotion I was feeling into a little ball, crushed it with my mind & said to myself:
“No Katie, stop it. Why are you even feeling like this? You know it’s going to be fine, and you know once you’ve walked out that door, you’re going to feel like a boss ass bitch. So snap out of it, get out of your pjs and start getting ready. Today is the first day of the rest of your life & you’re gonna do it right this time”.
So that’s what I did. I followed my own advice before it got first, probably for the first time ever, and it worked. I managed to snap myself out of it before it got worse.
And you know what? I had a fucking brilliant day. And I’m swearing because I’m emphasising on how proud I am of myself. I didn’t think I’d be able to do it but god damn, I did it! I’ve just gotta keep this up and remember I’m doing this for me and my other half, to give us the best chance possible. And I am no longer letting my mental health define me. I will get better again. And I’m surviving every single day; only now I’m making sure I do everything I can to survive.

The only way is up from here 🌺
Stay safe guys, you can do it • you can do anything. ❤️

Katie x

#TheMighty #MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #PanicAttack #MentalHealth #Newjob #firstday