hallucinate

I’m really reaching out for help Iv tried with other people and I can not place what’s happening to me. I was in mental hospital a few months ago and was told to come off of my lithium which I was put on 3 years ago when I had my son and was sectioned. Iv always had a bpd diagnosis. Apparently I don’t have bipolar anymore so I came off lithium from 1000 down by 200 every week side effects was horrible being sick etc..been off lithium for nearly 4 weeks I’m hallucinating the last couple of weeks and it has been getting worse I’m under my crisis team and waiting to see a dr on Tuesday. I’m not convinced I don’t have bipolar as when you can come off lithium it can cause another man I episode. What I’m struggling with are my hallucinations I’m hearing things and looking at objects and they are coming to life especially my kids teddies that are saying evil things to me but in my voice..are these hallucinations or are these me just having a vivid imagination? I’m confused with if they are hallucinations and I wondered if anyone could help please as I’m going out of my mind. I’m having to wait for the crisis team then when they leave take clorazepam to make me sleep as I can’t be in my head at the moment. I tried colouring yesterday which I was able to do for a while but then the objects Jist turned into evil faces. #hallucinate #Hallucinations #Bipolar #BPD

#MentalHealth

I was in my psychiatrist's office. She was typing something on the computer. I #hallucinate d that she called me stupid. I immediately knew it didn't actually happened. However, it seemed real. Things popping in and out of a person's mind living with #Schizophrenia is their constant reality. Even if they take their medication, they still will have #symptoms

Why does my #MentalHealth -or lack of such- my #MentalIllness make everyone mad at me? I don’t choose to #hallucinate I don’t enjoy having to cope with #BPD bouts , #Isolation bouts or #MDD that keeps me asleep for days....
I hope I don’t sound selfish, but I also am the primary Care for my 83 yo grandma... I can’t always leave my room, recently we lost my grandad and our #home and all the things we had in our home, we had to start over and it’s so SCary
Some days If I get time to myself I want to do my own thing; my boyfriend I am sure Is leaving bc our time is little, some days I can’t talk on the phone, some days I’m too tired #Emotionally - but for example he says how bad I treat him, today, becuz I said I need to lay down and take my med and try to not go any deeper into this chaos.
My grandma is upset too telling me to deal with it out in the living room but it’s not safe there.
Am I bad?