Liver Cancer

Hi, my name is Patty, I am a Death Doula with a terminal diagnosis who is passionate about sharing the story of my 70 years looking at the traumas that cause disease and how we can write ourselves out of our pain to craft a new journey of joy before we have to leave this life.

#MightyTogether

#AutismSpectrumDisorder

#LiverCancer

My sister is dying from cancer. It has progressed to the point the the hospital sent her home with hospice to die comfortably in her home. I'm anger and sad and scared. How do I do this life without my big sister? 💔 who will listen when I am down and make no sense? Who will advise me and tell me its going to be okay? She is too young to die she is only 59.Her older years have been stolen from her. I'm unbelievably broken hearted! I don't want her to go yet I had to give her my permission 😫 and tell her not to worry about me. She told me so calmly over the phone that she wasn't going to get any better and wouldn't be talking to my again. What choice did I have but to tell her it was okay. #Cancer #Depression #Loss #LiverCancer TerminalCancer

Hi all,

I need some help today. My husband and I both struggle with anxiety and depression, and recently, my father in law’s alcholism has taken a turn for the worse. He isn’t working right now, and we found out that he’s just been drinking all day alone at home. He calls my husband drunk and lies about his drinking. He was put into two programs within a month, and left after 3 days. He does not want to get help and has admitted that to my husband.

I think the hardest part is that he called everyone in the family lying about having liver cancer. We legitimately thought he was going to need serious treatment, but then we discovered he lied about the whole thing.

I know that recovery is a long, lifetime process, and we are trying my best to support my father in law. However, does anyone have advice for supporting my husband? My husband is wrecked with the idea that his father is unwilling to get help and lied about having cancer. What do you say or do to help? #Alcoholism #Advice #Depression

I was in good physical and mental health until 2005. My liver failed, my ammonia levels were high I was hallucinating and the outcome didn’t look goodI had to move from the state I lived back to my moms to get on the liver transplant list. I was so devastated. At that same time in 2005 my oldest brother was diagnosed with liver cancer and died within two months. The end of of 2005 my middle brother died of a heroin overdose. I lived and felt so guilty. My parents trudged forward in their 70s I was listed for a liver transplant in early 2006 at UPMC San Francisco. Over the course 3 years…I got better I jumped through every hoop there was, I was compliant. I have never been the same. Fast forward 10 yrs, I had been on Abilify and then lithium in addition. My PCP felt he couldn’t treat me as I need to be treated. I started seeing a Psychiatrist. After 2 years of trying to find a good dosage I had a psychotic break. I was terrified, I had no idea where I was who my husband dad or sons were. I got lost driving, fell regularly and my husband had no ideA what to do…it lasted a month and a half. My poor husband finally called my psychiatrist out of desperation. I have so little memory of that time except delusions hallucinations and confusion. I became incontinent, developed an essential tic in my right hand, lost a lot of memory and it took a piece of my soul by the time it was over. That was 2 years ago. Since that time I’ve had a host of health problems most have gone unfounded, I just feel like I’m crazy. It’s either in my head, it’s my anxiety. I don’t say anything to anybody anymore about how I feel, even if there’s something wrong I don’t disclose. I feel like I’m labeled a hypochondriac, I feel humiliated. My symptoms are not made up but I can’t convince anybody. I’m not crazy I know the difference between right and wrong, sick and healthy. I’m at a point now where after 3 years I feel so much worse than I started out.. I have a very miserable life. I have a PCP, a Psychiatrist , a psychoanalyst, a neurologist and a GI doctor. I feel like a fool and can’t see any hope.

At night, I get such horrible anxiety. I think most of us in this forum do have this same problem. I wondered if it was because during the day, we are so focused on things going on around us, and then once the day is over... the mind is still running.

Sometimes we come to a point or realization that the world is full of a mix of pleasure and pain. Yet, we mostly only hear about the painful things and not so much about the pleasurable things. We see more news about people dying, than we do about people being born.

#DeathAnxiety is not something that will go away. Even with therapy, the body still has these issues at night with the mind battle. I have to focus on the bed, the sheets, the blankets. #Mindfulness

It is very difficult for me to shut myself down, especially being a person who has #BipolarDepression and #Anxiety disorder.

I have worked hard to get to where I am right now in life, but thinking about my Dad's health right now (new diagnosis of Liver cancer) has not been letting me have a peace of mind.

As a Christian, I pray. I have to empty my mind from it's thoughts and allow myself just to melt into the bed. However, it is almost like having a full time job to try to go to sleep. I have this whole routine just to try to make myself in the proper place to sleep with ease.

Drinking tea, a hot bath, lavender spray and lotion, all these things help but it does not always make things perfect. Sometimes over the counter medicines help on the nights where it is really bad. #Unisom Hangovers are horrible. I do not always like taking over the counter medicines, but sometimes it helps.

I think you just have to write your journal, talk with a friend, watch a boring movie, and focus on something positive.. but then sometimes the waterworks happen. It is all about having a #balance .

I hope that if you made it this far in this message, that I have made it a little easier for you to sleep. A big hug from me to you.