I know it's been a little while since I have posted. I have been going through way too much involving the decline of my Dad's health. My heart has been broken, ever since the day that I found out that he has liver cancer. I found this out the week before my birthday, and my birthday was this past Tuesday the 22nd.
I wish so badly that people who are elderly don't have to suffer with these afflictions such as bodily weakness tiredness major health issues and so on and so forth. However I'm also aware that there's a lot of young individuals who suffer with very similar things including children.
I was thinking that maybe if I just continue to move forward through staying strong, and maybe somehow I would be able to keep myself strong and endure anything that is coming.
I don't always feel like that everything I'm saying and doing lately is making much sense. I feel like crying when I'm at work and I get a text message from my brother or I get a missed phone call from the nursing rehabilitative center when my dad is at.
There's always just something lurking around the corner and I'm always afraid that it's going to be that one phone call that tells me that the inevitable has finally happened.
Doesn't help that my dad's estranged wife in which he is currently waiting on her to sign the divorce papers is still not doing her part. She only seems to come down here whenever it's most convenient for her, or when she thinks that my father is going to die each time that he had gotten ill with something serious.
She's very cold in nature, in which all of my family believes that she had only married my father after knowing him for such a short amount of time, just so that she could get citizenship for the United States.
So through all of my tears and all of my stress I realize I can't fix other people. And that there's only so much that I can do to make things feel comfortable for myself and for my dad and even my brother.
I wish so badly that things could have been better for my dad, as in have him listen to me over the years so that he could have prevented some of the problems and illnesses that he had to face.
I don't know how to deal with an aging parent, or a parent who's sick, and also my mental health at the same time.
Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with a parent who's aging, and also has a terminal illness?
I'm constantly feeling the struggle, and therapy and books and distractions can only distract me for so long.