I was in good physical and mental health until 2005. My liver failed, my ammonia levels were high I was hallucinating and the outcome didn’t look goodI had to move from the state I lived back to my moms to get on the liver transplant list. I was so devastated. At that same time in 2005 my oldest brother was diagnosed with liver cancer and died within two months. The end of of 2005 my middle brother died of a heroin overdose. I lived and felt so guilty. My parents trudged forward in their 70s I was listed for a liver transplant in early 2006 at UPMC San Francisco. Over the course 3 years…I got better I jumped through every hoop there was, I was compliant. I have never been the same. Fast forward 10 yrs, I had been on Abilify and then lithium in addition. My PCP felt he couldn’t treat me as I need to be treated. I started seeing a Psychiatrist. After 2 years of trying to find a good dosage I had a psychotic break. I was terrified, I had no idea where I was who my husband dad or sons were. I got lost driving, fell regularly and my husband had no ideA what to do…it lasted a month and a half. My poor husband finally called my psychiatrist out of desperation. I have so little memory of that time except delusions hallucinations and confusion. I became incontinent, developed an essential tic in my right hand, lost a lot of memory and it took a piece of my soul by the time it was over. That was 2 years ago. Since that time I’ve had a host of health problems most have gone unfounded, I just feel like I’m crazy. It’s either in my head, it’s my anxiety. I don’t say anything to anybody anymore about how I feel, even if there’s something wrong I don’t disclose. I feel like I’m labeled a hypochondriac, I feel humiliated. My symptoms are not made up but I can’t convince anybody. I’m not crazy I know the difference between right and wrong, sick and healthy. I’m at a point now where after 3 years I feel so much worse than I started out.. I have a very miserable life. I have a PCP, a Psychiatrist , a psychoanalyst, a neurologist and a GI doctor. I feel like a fool and can’t see any hope.