I was diagnosed with Stage III Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at age 23. I was in the prime of my life - one year away from graduating with my DPT in Physical Therapy. I was someone who enjoyed hanging out with my friends. I enjoyed drinking alcohol. I enjoyed eating pizza and tacos. I enjoyed Law & Order: SVU marathons. I enjoyed sleeping in. And I enjoyed sex. These were all things in which a “twenty-something” would most likely find enjoyment. However, cancer decided to tell me that I was no longer in control of my life and that it was its turn to tell me what I could enjoy.
Cancer took away my energy and with that it took away many things I enjoyed. In particular, it took away my dating life. I (rightfully) focused on myself and my healing for the nine months in which I underwent treatment. During this time, I lost my hair and undoubtedly some self-confidence. Now, as a survivor I struggle with re-entering the dating world. The majority of millennial dating occurs online. If I were to ever meet someone online and agree to meet them in person, the following anxieties would run through my mind:
Do I wear my wig and then if he dare asks why my hair looks different in pictures do I tell him this isn’t the real me but a facade?
Do I wear my pixie cut and when he asks why I have one do I lie and tell him that I chose to cut it this way or do I speak the truth and say it’s growing back after being poisoned?
Do I tell this (essentially) complete stranger all this personal medical history of mine in the hopes he’ll be somewhat more understanding? And what if I do and he isn’t understanding?
I have no problems sharing my story or the hell that I have been through. However, it can feel tiring to go over and over the pain this past year has caused. Especially with a complete stranger.
So, how does one date after cancer?