Part 1 of 2 I have been living with #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder and #Misophonia for my entire life, and recall its manifestations since my early childhood. My conditions grew bigger as I aged, my behaviour and socialisation were becoming increasingly corrupted. In my early teens, my invisible companions have officially announced themselves, giving sense and ‘official’ shape of my various weirdnesses.
Around my year 8 in school, #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder starts being severe.
Countless rituals kept me busy for hours; never-ending hygiene procedures : hours of showering and wash-ups resulted in chemical skin corrosion.
That was definitely a fun merry-go-round, although this was only the superficial part. If you suffer from #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder severe enough, you probably know that the worst part lies within the mind itself. What makes it even worse, is the fact that it is inescapable.
Thought looping feels like malfunctioning code that constantly returns errors, while looping repeatedly and corrupting life perception, the gameplay. I could almost see red strings, returning errors.
At this point, not only my movement coordination was corrupted and loaded with full of unreasonable, conditional movements, but also the cognitive processing was running swarms of “bugs”, brain was almost being fried, headaches were common. Life no more simply lacked joy. It was full of suffering.
Not to mention that people, especially those, who did not know me well enough, just saw me as an idiot, a freak, doing its freaky rituals with a random item (like poking freaking mangoes in the supermarket). At first, I postponed school until I could manage myself to some decent degree.
I was prescribed some medicines by the local psychiatrist (prozac/cipralex, buspar, aripiprex, cognitol – if I remember it correct), and it was at a later point in life, when one medical practitioner told me that psychiatrist just prescribed me miscellaneous pills for random psychiatric disorders, putting almost no effort trying to grope and target the root of the issue, although having had all the clues. Of course, that did not turn out really well. There was no reasonable progress, and I felt like a boiled turnip, so I stopped taking the medication. “Cold turkey”. I returned to school. Those were the decisions I am very glad I made.
Months, years went by. I managed to achieve certain milestones. Tons of non-stop mental work and development, a few psychologist appointments and meditative techniques, along with esoteric practices — milestone by milestone I made it to the point where I controlled myself well enough to have a faint kind of a normal life.
Every day and every instance of existence felt like a fight for survival, with myself. It was extremely hard for me to concentrate and process information, and hence, study; but with help of my comrades, friends and teachers who understood me, accepted me and helped me to progress, I made it – year after year, class after class.
Although, of course, not everyone is willing to understand conditions.
There is one good quote out there —
“The worst part of having a #MentalHealth is that people expect you to behave as if you don’t”
Sadly, mostly this is true.
As time went by, I managed to become better at controlling my glitching tempestuous beast.
I graduated school, enrolled into university, and that’s where things started shapeshifting weirdly. Asides #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder , I started acquiring other severe health issues like constant nausea, that last to this very day. Fortunately a moment of intensity trough to write about #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder .
Get acquainted with the full article at https://www.fun-sci.club/post/#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder -1 .
When I will be done with other health issues, I will probably make other posts on them.
I have been living with #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder for my entire life and have collected a vast amount of knowledge regarding it. Combining that with progressive scientific data, I have written an article and made a video on the holistic approach to combat #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder . I genuinely believe that it could help millions —
Jewel of that information lies in human biology and is applicable to everyone; moreover, this knowledge could aid people with other mental conditions, as well as help fully healthy individuals maintain a wholesome psyche.
The only problem is I lack the audience to properly convey the message. But together we could