Missingyou

I just lost my boyfriend to depression. He took his own like 2 days ago after writing a goodbye post on Facebook. I hurting so bad because all I can feel is that I’m at fault for it. I wish he would have atleast said goodbye. I loved this man with everything in me. He was such a great person who was dealing with so much. I have some anger because he received 700 likes and about 500 shares on his post but no one was there for him how he needed. I blame myself for most of it. I really want to be with him. I hope I can get through this heart break. My heart is so heavy. Why did I break up with him? Why was I so selfish to put myself first? Why? I’m trying not to question it but it’s hard not to when I KNOW I WAS THELAST STRAW. He confided in me. I loved this Man with all of me. FUCK.

I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day. I was 9 yo when my both my Grandparents were killed in a car accident on that day. I have very vivid memories of that night/day. It still pains me to this day almost 30 years later. I will always miss them. I will always love them.

My parents have tried to make Valentine’s Day special and not so sad, but I cannot shake the grief I feel when this day approaches.

I will take it easy today, cuddle my kitties and try to do something I enjoy - try to remember the fun and loving times we had together. I do want to wish all my Mighties love & peace forever 💕

#Grief #traumatic grief #Missingyou #Memories #CPTSD

When you thought you had a friend but once more turns out you don't
:/ people are weird. They never truly mean whet they say anymore. Only the rare few are worth my time. So all those who think they know me. Haha I laugh at you because you know nothing. Im better without you then having you lie and pretend to be something to me your really not.
This was the last thing he said before it was too late for anyone to realize he needed HELP 😞 I never knew
I should have
I’m sorry I wasn’t there

After someone has died it's as if your mind erases all of the bad memories and you are left with the good ones...it's a blessing and a curse...Because I want to be mad at you so my heart doesn't hurt everytime I hear Luther Vandross, or Break every chain, or anytime I drive past wellons or 2nd ave...I just want it to be over...I want to be alright again. I miss you man This seriously does not get any easier. And I don't remember if I said it or not but I forgive you 💖
#Missingyou

It’s been 12 years or 12 days... I can’t seem to recall. I just wish I could share today with you like we did all along. I can hear your laughter and I see your smile.. If I reach a little further, I could probably feel your hand hold on to mine. But blah blah blah.. words! I’ve said them all before and still nothing in the 26 letters could I put together a sentence that I haven’t already said. Nothing will change or bring you back. Just thought I should say something on this day to show you that I’ll never stop wishing I was celebrating with you instead. Love you daddy!