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Happy covid birthday

Hi all, I’m writing tonight on my 31st birthday and I’m sick as a dog with covid. It’s been a very strange day…honestly I didn’t do much besides try and manage my symptoms to stay relatively comfortable. I was delighted by happy birthday texts throughout the day. Honestly wasn’t expecting much more since I went no contact with toxic family in 2020.

This year I somehow ended up lashing out at the only people who bothered to buy me a cake, sing, and actually buy me gifts. My two roommates.

I’m not sure if my gut/intuition is sincerely telling me that something is off here… or if it’s cptsd that sabotages anything that resembles joy/happiness in my life. I’m writing now before going to bed and I told my roommates they can have the gifts back I don’t want them. I feel insane, convinced I’m going to die alone with my cats. Am I paranoid? Triggered? Trust issues? I feel bad for how I acted but also sincerely doubt I can trust these people and convinced they are going to (or already did) betray me.

Can anyone relate to this or know what could be going on? Am I going crazy?

#CPTSD #narcabuse #Recovery


I’m new here

Hi everyone, I’m new here and have done an introduction on the mighty already but not on this specific group.

I’m writing tonight because I got a string of really angry text messages from my mom tonight that have me feeling a bit down and questioning my reality. Years of therapy have taught me about her narcissistic traits and I’ve been validated for the emotional abuse I’ve suffered from her. Therapists have explained to me the concept of scapegoating which I feel I relate to, but my mom is so invalidating that it makes me confused.

Anytime I try to talk to her about an issue to resolve or better understand something, she turns it back on me… blaming me for the exact thing that I’m bringing up. Is this gaslighting? Can anyone relate to this experience? I’m having a hard time understanding and feeling certain of where I stand at the moment. 😢 The blame and guilt trips (although they used to affect me wayyyy more) are painful and difficult to process.

I don’t want to play the victim here, and I don’t want to get stuck in that mentality. Ugh how do I fix this? 😓

#ComplexPTSD #narcabuse #EmotionalAbuse #confused #Gaslighting #scapegoat


Healing: A never ending road to peace.

I have been off and on The Mighty ever since I got diagnosed two years ago. I go through my spurts of absolutely NEEDING to write my thoughts down and then keeping it all in because there’s just too much going on to fathom writing a piece.
A little update for y’all since we last chit chatted, I had my beautiful daughter Peyton Marie on March 25th! So that now makes three... I am definitely a shit show to say the least 😅
But it’s been great, I’m beyond blessed.
But unfortunately some shit has bit me in the ass. Some shit I should have faced head on, in the moment. Some shit that I suppressed to save a relationship.
And it’s hitting me HARD.
Now I was diagnosed with CPTSD long ago from previous things but y’all know you can get CPTSD/PTSD from narcissistic abuse? Hahaha I didn’t... until recently.
After a few mental breakdowns, I’ve decided to stop myself before I got too far into the rabbit hole and I am learning coping mechanisms, how to draw boundaries, demanding respect, learning to love myself, and the biggest thing; learning to forgive.
So I figured what better way to get over my shit than to document the journey? 😅🤷🏻‍♀️

Here goes everything... #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #npd #narcabuse #Healing #roadtopeace