Happy covid birthday
Hi all, I’m writing tonight on my 31st birthday and I’m sick as a dog with covid. It’s been a very strange day…honestly I didn’t do much besides try and manage my symptoms to stay relatively comfortable. I was delighted by happy birthday texts throughout the day. Honestly wasn’t expecting much more since I went no contact with toxic family in 2020.
This year I somehow ended up lashing out at the only people who bothered to buy me a cake, sing, and actually buy me gifts. My two roommates.
I’m not sure if my gut/intuition is sincerely telling me that something is off here… or if it’s cptsd that sabotages anything that resembles joy/happiness in my life. I’m writing now before going to bed and I told my roommates they can have the gifts back I don’t want them. I feel insane, convinced I’m going to die alone with my cats. Am I paranoid? Triggered? Trust issues? I feel bad for how I acted but also sincerely doubt I can trust these people and convinced they are going to (or already did) betray me.
Can anyone relate to this or know what could be going on? Am I going crazy?