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    Community Voices

    Saying hello

    Hi - I am Artemis, and I have #BPD , #npd , #BipolarDisorder , #OCD , #ADHD and #Dyspraxia . I'm working up the courage to share my actual story, but just wanted to say hello and thank you warriors for always lifting up my day when things get rough. ❤️

    8 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Is there a way to prove to the outside world that BPDs are different than NPDs?

    I've met a few Machiavelic NPDs during my life, yet they receive a lot less rejection and are not feared as BPDs are. Is there a way to prove that BPDs are not NPDs and that the perceived danger regarding BPDs is only perceptual? #npd #BPD #CPTSD

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Community Voices

    Seeing Enemies at Every Turn and I Don't know What's Real

    I was raised by a narcissist mother with bpd and I think I have bpd tendencies now, along with codependency and c-ptsd (diagnosed).

    I left home at 19 after being catfished by another narcissist before catfishing was even a term. It was 1999, and she had me in a relationship with a man I never met, relying solely on her for communication with him (via her ... astrally). She was extremely convincing. But I digress.

    I skipped town and landed in the lap of another (worse) NPD -- married him, had a child with him, and barely escaped with my life 20 years later. He told me he'd kill himself if I left and a myriad of other threats which led to a suicide attempt on my part and eventually I left him while he was at work.

    I'm now happily divorced, 41, living with my NPD BPD mother, codependent father, NPD BPD possibly bipolar (she isn't diagnosed because she lies too much and sells her medication) sister.

    I'm moving in with my SO in another month or so and I share custody of my daughter, who is 8, and gets to decide with whom she wants to stay when she is 12.

    My question is, after reading extensively on narcissism and BPD, how does one even begin to heal from this? How do I trust ANYone now, aside from my SO, with whom I've shared so much? I honestly don't know that I even feel anything for my mother or sister now that I know what true narcissism means, now that I see I'm so broken because of my childhood, and how hard it will be for me to begin to grow toward some sense of "normalcy."

    So many jobs. So many relationships. So many misunderstandings ... and I still don't fully understand social concepts that come to other people as easily as breathing. And the worst part? Knowing that I might unknowingly be passing it on to my daughter... it devastates me. That is one of the only things left that pulls tears from my eyes. Eyes that used to cry endlessly for other people, people who used to scorn me, because they didn't understand why I cared SO much. Well, now I know, it was because my family cared so little for me.
    What the hell do I do with that? #narcissist #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #npd #narcissistpersonalitydisorder #Depression #codependent

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Help..

    Why am i jealous of every female on the planet. I am a 21 year old female. I don’t even think i want to be jealous it’s just an uncontrollable feeling and it goes against my beliefs sometimes but i can’t control it... If my boyfriend or whomever i’m with giggles with another female or looks her in the eyes too long i lose my mind. I feel like i’m damaged beyond repair. How can i start trusting people again? I have been tryin to talk to myself to remind myself that i don’t need to worry about things like that, also have tried catching my triggers before hand but it NEVER STOPS. I can’t get it to go away and when i see or hear a female talk it triggers my outbursts and i usually take it out on my boyfriend. #npd #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #SocialAnxiety #Hypertension

    6 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Coping/triggers/ramble

    Y’all my mind is already scrambling to form a sentence from the million thoughts going through my brain. THIS is why I’ve turned down offers to write for blogs 😂
    Well and cause I’m quite vulgar but ya know 🤷🏼‍♀️
    Anyways, I feel as though I have one foot in recovery and one foot in the shit that holds me back. I want to be better for myself, my kids and my husband but at the same time I’m still drawn to my unhealthy coping mechanisms. I’ve been trying to quit smoking for like a month now and I fail. Try to not drink but here I am with a beer in my hand. But it’s only when I get triggered that I find myself leaning back into old habits. Like I can’t find ways to cope when my bad triggers are triggered. For example my husband is a manager at a washbay and he comes home to tell me that a girl he used to bang started working for him. That’s not my trigger just wait 😂 This girl he’s had on social media since we met. I’ve asked him at least 100 times if they’ve slept together and he’s always told me no she wasn’t his type. Well the mothefucker let slip that they did in fact used to bang. That hit a nerve. Finding out that I’ve been lied to this whole time. But he’s always been on my ass about guys. Ugh hypocritical. Btw hello my name is Miranda and my husband is a diagnosed narcissist 🤦🏼‍♀️ so go figure.
    At this point I’m trying not to be so bitchy but I can’t help but be like “Wtf! Why weren’t you just honest?” There’s a lot of things that play into this shit show. Things I can’t get into because I’ll definitely get enraged.
    I have always been an honest/blunt person so lying to me doesn’t make sense. It shows me you don’t have a set of balls to state facts. It’s why my circle is small. Probably cause I got a lot of trust issues too. I’m not sure where I’m heading with all of this but maybe I just needed to vent somewhere where I won’t seem so crazy 😂
    So let’s discuss triggers. What sets you off the fucking handle and how do you cope ? Is lying also a trigger of yours? I’m curious so let me know! #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CPTSD #npd #Anxiety #Depression #AdjustmentDisorder #triggers #Lying #coping

    9 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Hi, I'm new to this... #BPD #npd #ADHD #alone

    I'll start of by listing my disorders. I have BPD, ADHD, and vulnerable narcissism. I'm 22 years old, fresh out of a 4 year on and off relationship. I'm more self aware than I was in the beginning of the relationship. Just last year I cut off all my unhealthy support (my friends, my family) as an attempt to really get better and make my relationship work. This helped in my recovery but not enough. My ex boyfriend is the nicest empathetic person I know in the whole world despite my paranoia during the relationship. I placed my whole value and safety in him and now I'm so very alone and lost in so many feelings. I'm scared of going back to unhealthy behavioural patterns. I'm scared of losing this realisation that my whole experience was down to my personality disorders. I'm so ashamed and hurt. The ideal I was living in has come crashing down. I'm looking for a safe space to share but not to blame and accuse as I used to. I'm aware now and it fucking sux. I hope one day I can recover and reunite but until then I need to build myself up from the inside out and I'm looking to talk to people who can relate.

    1 person is talking about this
    Community Voices

    Blah blah blah

    I have literally wrote and deleted like six posts because my mind keeps screaming “PERFECTION MIRANDA!” 😅
    So this is just going to go up regardless of how it is and if I ramble well welcome to my crazy, beautiful distaster I call my life 😂

    Being a self aware borderline or even just self aware about any mental illness you have is the most fucking complex shit ever.
    You KNOW you’re being irrational.
    You KNOW you’re being crazy.
    You KNOW you’re splitting.
    The list goes on and on and on.
    But for me that means I am making progress. I’m starting to understand my triggers more and understand what I can do to avoid them or deal with them.
    My newest thing is learning to FEEL my emotions instead of running from them or giving into the uncontrollable anger. It’s out of my comfort zone because I hate feeling the emotions. I’d much rather numb them with lashing out or whatever other un healthy coping mechanism my head comes up with.
    It’s been such a challenge but it’s helped me a lot. It’s helped me to ask myself “Okay what is the actual problem? Is it my husband? Or do I just wanna get mad at him because I was triggered by something else?” And this mindset has saved a lot of pointless arguments.
    I know what I need to do in order to move forward, I know there will be hiccups along the way but I’m getting there. Slowly but surely this shit show will get her ass in gear and conquer the world and when that time comes y’all better watch out 😎
    Anyone else got any good coping mechanisms y’all are doing or goals you’ve set for yourself? Let me know!! Let’s start a conversation 💜 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #npd #Depression #Anxiety #AdjustmentDisorder #Anxiety #EatingDisorder #CPTSD

    5 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    I am struggling with my mental illness.
    I keep thinking I have a handle on it but it’s just being manic if that makes sense.
    I was diagnosed with BPD,NPD, CPTSD, anxiety/panic disorder, anorexia/bulimia, severe depression, adjustment disorder.
    I also have an addictive personality so I do smoke and have been drinking more than normal.
    I feel out of sorts, like I can’t handle things like I used to. I guess you could say I feel more broken than normal. I don’t socialize anymore, the friend group I once had dropped me. I miss having someone to talk to and honestly it makes me sad. My husband and I have gotten better but things sometimes get bad and I feel out of control. I’m not entirely sure what this group is about but I’m just looking for support and seeing if anyone else is dealing with the same as I am. I hold no judgment to anyone so I hope to get the same in return. #BPD #npd #Anxiety #Depression #needafriend #struggling

    13 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Mona

    This was some years ago….Someone told me once that he admired my baking and envied me but wouldn’t tell me why he envied me…., then destroyed my just baked goods and tossed it away during a Very scary argument where he grabbed a knife to hurt himself then waved it at me angry and yelling and I ran away in panic. His explanation was that he needed All my undivided attention and I was not giving it to him at the time. After years, short therapy had passed, he says that he can very well destroy something that he admires and I cannot wrap my head around that. Then, there was no admiration only the illusion of it? Am I wrong or can you deliberately destroy things you admire!?