narcisticabuse

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    The day I left my toxic and emotionally abusive marriage

    I was married for 17 yrs when I decided to leave. My X was diagnosed with #Bipolar1Disorder and #SchizoaffectiveDisorder . He was in and out of hospitals. When he went off his meds he was scary and emotionally abusive. We have a 19 yr old son together. He was taken at 7 by CPS. He was not abused in any way shape or form. Eventually he went to live with my X brother. Our marriage went down hill from there. He became manic again and he would gaslight me and make me think I was crazy. On June 27th 2018 I had a therapy appointment at 1pm and he was not going to take me cause he knew we would talk about him. So I called my friend and she said she would take me. I told him and for some reason I got into the car with him. He started to speed so I told him to pull the effing car over he did. I grabbed the phone and left. I called my friend she called the police and the rest is history. I found my strength, worth and courage to leave. It will be 3 yrs January 6 that I’ve been divorced. #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder and #PTSD #ChildhoodAbuse #narcisticabuse

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    Abuse Realization #narcisticabuse #childhoodtrama #Memories # parentdeath

    Hi there, my mom passed in March of this year and I’m slowly realizing... I think I was emotionally abused? I struggle to remember anything but bad moments in my childhood. I can’t remember people’s names, or books I liked or anything. And I keep remembering bad moments with her. I started having nightmares. Has anyone else realized they were emotionally abused as a child after they grew up? I’m really anxious right now.

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    "Time"

    I've reached the place
    That I'll have to accept
    Who you never would be
    I can't afford anymore tears shed
    You honestly don't deserve them
    You've broken me in so many ways
    The worst is not knowing exactly who it was I loved
    I wish I could shrug it off and keep moving forward every day
    It hurts so deep realizing we were just not real after all
    I was nothing more than a fool
    In each and every possible way
    Believing in someone when the reasons were none
    And I'll never understand why someone could be so cruel
    With all your empty promises
    I'm left with the bittersweet memories I've cherished
    They hold no value to you
    I was the fool who fell for your lies
    Confused by my low self-esteem
    I breathed all of you in but then you just sucked the life out of me
    It no longer hurts when I think of you loving on someone else
    I've watched you replay the tape
    Nothing's changed except maybe her name
    Because you're still nothing more than a shell of what a real man should be
    You've not ever once
    Put somebody ahead of yourself
    Capable of loving only when it's convenient for you
    You poured salt in my wounds
    But it all only proves
    Its not any more real for you with somebody new
    Because you're still a lost soul
    So unhappy with yourself
    You make everyone close to you that way too
    And one day soon I'll know what it's like to not have a single
    Reason to think about you
    You taken everything else
    Time is now all I have to myself
    It'll be so much better not spending it with you
    #Relationships , #heartbreak , #narcissism , #narcisticabuse , #breakup