narcoticsanonymous

I didn’t realize how strongly and negatively seeing someone from my past would affect me. This person bullied me relentlessly everyday for four years and left me for dead in a field along with his buddies. Now I have to see this person on a regular basis in my Narcotics Anonymous meetings each night and I just don’t think I am strong enough emotionally and spiritually right now to handle this. This Sunday will mark a year clean for me and it’s a good thing this happened now versus early in my recovery because it probably would’ve caused me to relapse. My NA meetings are my safe place where I can truly be myself and am learning to heal from the trauma. And now i feel like one of the triggers and actual causes for me to start using drugs in the first place has busted down the door to my home and made himself comfortable in my own safe space. He has broken into my home and demanded I treat him like nothing happened and I’m lost. The difference dealing with him now vs then is that i have my NA family for support and protection, and I have this amazing community to help me deal with this. I know I can do it. This didn’t happen by accident, and it’s not a coincidence. This is a stepping stone in my recovery towards true healing. Besides, he needs to be there just as much as anyone. He obviously has his own demons he’s dealing with and maybe hearing my story will help him. I have to try and see the positive in this situation or this will tear me apart. I’ve got this. *deep breathe* #Depression #nonbinary #Addiction #narcoticsanonymous #Drugs