notsuicidaljusttired

Like when you have been struggling for so long that it seems nearly impossible to enjoy even a drop of joy. #Drained #Emotionallytired

Like an existential crisis where you’re afraid to stop living and having a conscience/being living but also think it’d be easier if you weren’t alive? I have no plans of suicide and no self harm but have thoughts a lot. Just pure anxiety that I’m better off dead but terrified of dying. #Afraidtodie #notsuicidaljusttired

It’s taken me about an hour to write this as I keep going into a stare. Doctors told me that I’ve been on my antidepressants for to long (which I kept trying to tell them after 4 years!). So over the past few weeks I’ve been slowly reducing 150mg sertaline, to go into 20mg fluoxetine. The past 14 days I’ve had 3 friends of mine pass away. One on New Year’s Day, the other two on the 12th & 13th on the weekend just gone. I’m massively struggling to cope and I feel like I’m breaking. I can’t cope at work, I left half way through my shift yesterday and I’m struggling with the thought of going back tonight. Also thinking about taking time off for a week or two makes me break out into a anxiety attack. There’s never a good time to switch the antidepressants, I just wish they would work quicker! I just don’t know what to do anymore. There’s so much more I want to write but I feel like my mind won’t let me. #Depression #Sertraline #Fluoxetine #Antidepressant #Broken #Lostinlonliness #lost #notsuicidaljusttired

Go to sleep with this high pitched wailing in my head. #TiredofBeingSickAndTired Wake up to the same damn noise #AQuietPlace Please!! No hope of ever hearing the Peace of a Quiet moment! #notsuicidaljusttired ...
Not to paint on my Happy Face so no one knows what is really happening in my head.🤠😁🙂😐😕🥺😱😱😱😱

I honest dont know if I want to go on. Im in do much physical & mental pain its hard to do anything. I just want to sleep all day but work gets in the way of that!! Lol! I sleep so little at night. I’m just so frustrated.
#notsuicidaljusttired &frustrated
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