random

My emotions are stronger without medicine. My creativity is stronger, my happiness more potent. But the depression is a near constant battle. My brain works against me, slinging insults at every turn, catching me off guard and crowding my mind when I try to rest.

My will is sapped, my whole life freezes and I’m left trying to push through the sluggishness of ‘what’s the point’ and ‘you’ll never be good enough.’

I don’t know if I made the right decision coming off it. I know I don’t want to go back on it because it feels like a step backwards. I’m too optimistic at heart to be suicidal, but my brain is so clogged and sapped that I can’t find the will to live. I miss it. I hope it comes back soon.

I don’t love who I am without the medicine. I really hope I can make this work long term, because I hate relying on it. I want to be my best self without it, but to do it I somehow need to accept and manage my worst self too. #random thoughts #Depression #tired

I haven't been on here in forever, lmao but anyways, so I've had this idea for a long time. basically I've really wanted to create an app that would be my personal ideal for making friends and dating (hookups just wouldn't be a focus, although not discouraged i guess). i have a few ideas in my head on what exactly i would want on it, but i would definitely need help putting it together, and i also have no clue how to make apps; however, i'd be able to work with the layout/design. i just don't know how I'd get started. or if I'm being stupid about this. i just think it'd be really cool to have an app dedicated to forming relationships (romantic or platonic) that would take mental health into account. i know this is really vague, but i can't fully articulate how exactly it would work atm. just kinda rambling haha #BipolarDisorder #ADHD #PTSD #CPTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EatingDisorders #random
#Relationships

My boys are 9, 11 and 13

I’ve passed the stage where they need me for everyday basic functions, and are now needing me in learning how to be a decent human being.

I am trying my hardest to teach them, explain things to them. Give them a safe space in me to talk about the hard stuff. Teach them how to understand their feelings, process them and work through them.

The more I do my own trauma work, the more I’m convinced how important it is to raise boys with awareness of themselves this way. With the hopes that it helps them become healthy productive men.

I can’t control how they choose to live, nor do I want to... but I can teach them things that are good for them.

#Parenting #random