osdd

Join the Conversation on
130 people
0 stories
14 posts
  • Explore Our Newsletters
  • What's New in
    All
    Stories
    Posts
    Videos
    Latest
    Trending
    Post

    Ask Me Anything (DID Edition)!

    Hello folks! This is Jules, host of the Many but One DID system. For those that don't know, DID stands for dissociative identity disorder, previously known as MPD (multiple personality disorder.) I have been diagnosed and in therapy for about a year and a half now, with a DID specialist. It's been a real rollercoaster! However, I have a passion for helping people (systems and non-systems included!) understand what it's like to live with DID and that we are NOT what the media makes us out to be. There's loads of misinformation about DID out there, either from uninformed psychiatrists or from DID systems who simply don't do research or don't understand the disorder well enough, and unfortunately, from Hollywood directors looking to make money off of a deeply stigmatized and misunderstood disorder. I'm not saying I am a professional, however, I want to open up a dialogue.

    So please! Ask me anything! Don't worry about offending me or asking something weird or silly! I am open to ALL questions of any manner. I want people to be able to ask questions without fear of ridicule. Questions like these are what help stop misinformation from spreading, and allow us to have a better understanding of DID and its complexity. If you have a partner or child with DID and I don't know how to answer your question, I may source my wife or my parents to give you the answer that would best help you.

    Again, I want to preface, I am NOT a professional, and I will mostly be sharing personal experience or experiences I have heard from other DID/OSDD systems I know. (with nothing identifying them AT ALL.) If I feel your question needs research, I will try to provide sources that I know will help answer your question. I also want to say that my experience is not THE ONLY DID experience, as DID is incredibly diverse in presentation and expression.

    I'd love to hear from you! Peace!

    -Jules

    #MightyTogether #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #PTSD #CPTSD #Childhoodtrauma #Trauma #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #discussion #questions #osdd

    1 reaction 20 comments
    Post

    Surviving a Wedding with Dissociative Identity Disorder

    Contrary to the title of the post, the wedding was fantastic, and we did much more than just survive it–we loved it and had a great time. However, the weeks leading up to the wedding were tense, both in terms of planning for the wedding itself and planning how our DID system would handle the wedding event.

    Hello, I am Jules, and I am the host of a DID system known as Many But One on many forms of social media. The DID system I am a part of has around 20-25+ members—I say an estimate because things change, parts split and fuse or go dormant, so it’s hard to keep track of an exact number, not to mention I am fully aware that there are many more alters that I have not been allowed to meet yet, as per our gatekeeper’s request. (The gatekeeper of the system acts as a “leader” of sorts and is usually aware of all alters in the system and works to keep alters that are not ready to be “out” away from others.)

    To begin, three of us were dating our fiance. Me (Jules, host), James (the gatekeeper), and Foster (a co-host and protector). We all have an established relationship with our wife and were all on board with getting married to her. There are several other adults in the system, most of which are not with my wife because 1) they are not attracted to women, 2) they think of her more as a friend, or 3) they are not ready for a relationship or have no desire for a relationship.

    From the beginning, the three of us knew we all wanted to be a part of the wedding in some way. We had been working on co-consciousness (often shortened to co-con, which means having more than one alter in control of the body) and communication between the three of us. Out of everyone in the system, we have the best communication and all get along very well for the most part. With our therapist we came up with a tentative plan of action for our wedding day. James or I would handle the ceremony while Foster handled picture-taking and the receiving line, as well as any social interaction. Foster is highly social, doesn’t care about getting his picture taken, and doesn’t care about people touching him when he is aware of their intentions. James and I are much more wary on those fronts, so we knew he would thrive in those positions. James and I were also the ones to write the vows, though he did most of it and I edited and trimmed down what he wrote to make sure it wasn’t too long.

    Almost a year prior we had come to the conclusion that we would be okay with wearing a wedding dress. I am non-binary and generally prefer androgynous or masculine clothing, James is a cis male and hates femme clothing, and Foster is genderfluid and loves any kind of clothing, especially fancy or statement pieces of clothing. Wedding dresses are the ultimate statement piece, so he was thrilled by me deciding I wanted a dress. James relented, as he knew it would upset us if we didn’t get to wear a wedding dress on the ONE day of our lives we would get to wear one.

    On the day before the wedding, I had been trying to practice smooth switching. As in, switching in a way that wasn’t obvious. It was not possible at that time. Positive triggers to get the other two out were not working, and our communication was not great that day. I cannot control switching in the slightest, though I can somewhat coax one to happen on occasion. This usually means we have to have excellent communication and trust with one another. This day was not a good day for practicing switches. I worried very much that I would be stuck doing the whole wedding, doing stuff I really didn’t like such as pictures and hugs. However, come the wedding day, things were flawless. There was very little “lag time” between any switches we went through and we all executed our parts perfectly, with me mostly co-con during the entire wedding. Our officiant was aware of our DID and said some beautiful words regarding it, something that would not be immediately obvious to someone who doesn’t know about the DID, but was clear for us and meant a lot to us. Here it is:

    “May you honor the complex dimensions of one another in ways that reflect your commitment to loving and embracing every part of one another, even the parts that might be scary or unrecognized.”

    It was a beautiful speech, and our wife and James got to say their vows to each other. It was a beautiful wedding!

    For those of you with DID that want to get married or struggle to handle big social gatherings, having a plan is the best thing we could have done for ourselves. Knowing who would tackle what and using each other’s strengths was paramount for our ability to get through a wedding with almost 90 guests in attendance. However, if I can do it, so can you!

    -Jules, host of the “Many but One” DID system

    --

    #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #osdd #osdd1 #DIDSystem #didalters #everydaylife #manybutone #plural #functionalmultiplicity

    2 comments
    Post

    My mom refuses to accept I’m a system.

    She’s 100% convinced its a ‘Vitamin D deficiency’, despite of the fact that it doesn’t add up to what I have. She doesn’t believe she abused me as a child, she gaslights me saying my traumatic memories are false, etc. despite of the fact that when I turned 12-13 I felt I was dropped off at a station with barely a backstory. I even admitted to someone when I was 16 that I could barely remember my childhood(that was until I would eventually integrate with some of my nameless alters).

    Actually, come to think of it, my entire FAMILY(except for my sister) doesn’t want to accept me as a system despite it not being my choice. Coming out to my family as a system just makes me wish I said nothing.

    One final thing, being a system isn’t a last resort disorder. You CAN heal from your trauma, even if you don’t fully integrate. I’m sick and tired of this “”stigma”” where being a system means your life is over and you won’t get far in life. You can do it. If no one else supports you, I’ll support you.

    #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #ChildhoodAbuse #osdd #CPTSD

    15 comments
    Post
    See full photo

    Matthias

    Hello there. My name is Matthias, but please call me Matt. My pronouns are It/He/They, and I am our primary caretaker and gatekeeper. The image is one Adrian, our host, created in a Picrew as a visual representation of myself. I love tea and sweets and I'm what you might call the "Mom Friend" of our system. It's nice to meet everyone :)

    -Matt

    #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #osdd #DIDSystem #osddsystem #Intro #gettoknowme

    Post

    Who We Are

    Hello! My name is Adrian and I am the host of our system. We have 21 members (including myself) as of 03/25/2022. I don't like thinking of myself as "a person with a system" because that feels like I'm invalidating our alters, who are just as much real people as I am. I'm an alter too. Just because we all see me as the 'core' or whatever, doesn't make me more important than them. It isn't easy dealing with everyone, but I really do care about them. We're unsure whether our symptoms match DID or OSDD, so we call ourselves 'questioning' #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DIDSystem #osdd #osddsystem #DissociativeDisorder

    2 comments
    Post

    #DID #osdd #CPTSD #discouraged #worthless #Christian

    It’s going to be Sunday in about 2 hours and 45 minutes. Anyone have any particularly inspiring Scriptures that are on your heart at the moment? My go-to “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” just isn’t doing it. Maybe fearfully but certainly not wonderfully.

    I’m worried as I post this that everyone is going to be scared of me and think I’m like Sybil or Split or any of those other terrifying movies that I refuse to watch. Or think I’m possessed by demons and need to be exorcized immediately. Please no comments of that type or anything else judgmental.

    17 comments
    Post

    #DID #osdd #DissociativeIdentityDisorder (I know you can’t have both) —my therapist and I are still talking about which

    Hi. I’m actually a part (I have a name, but it isn’t our legal name. I’m not going to share it, but I call myself “the mod” as in like the moderator on an online community. I’m an engineering student and I’m the only one besides the littles who wants to get better.) I am actually the most adult self but I was created by the original person who is very self destructive and self hating and wanted to like herself or at least have a little respect for herself. But then I turned out to be completely different from her. She and I are both almost 38, but for an example, she calls herself a girl and refuses to identify with the term woman. I call myself a fully grown woman.
    I/we got out of a complex trauma/dissociative disorders unit i think a month ago today. I have a diagnosis of #CPTSD and a tentative diagnosis of #DID but if it isnt, then it’s #osdd . Nobody in the CPTSD communities seem to know what to do with me. I also have ADHD, and identify as #neurodivergent .
    I’m often co-conscious with others inside, especially the littles. There’s a lot of littles, and they seem to sometimes come out at the worst times, like the 5 year old called my 46 year-old boyfriend from 400+ miles away when we were in the hospital. I was in the background inside my head going “omg what the heck are you doing?! you can’t call a 46 year old man by yourself! You’re 5!” But either she couldn’t hear me or didn’t care. The older teens and adult parts block me completely so I often completely lose time when they come out.
    My boyfriend is the safest man I have ever met, and he is age appropriate with my littles when they come out in front of him, he is MY boyfriend and THEIR friend. I am learning to earn their trust and slow things way down, and go home if they start screaming in my head. It gets SO loud in there sometimes! Anyway just thought I’d introduce myself. ❤️❤️‍🩹

    2 comments
    Post
    See full photo

    The story of “my persecutor” and how my ISH saved her.

    This was a part of my fusion story, my persecutor alter “B” was once a protector and damned herself because of shame and what she experienced with my trauma, she felt alone and told herself she was a monster. My internal self helper, “Elizabeth” told her a story about how brave and strong she was to face everything in the beginning by herself and how she was never alone. I cried for B for also entire month. I felt her redemption and the love bond between the two, I felt so complete, two pieces of me in unity and peace. Unconditional love.

    #DID #osdd #DIDSystem #alters #Fusion #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #ISH #mystory

    Post

    I have a problem #dissociativedisorders

    o... it turns out, I have 10 people inside my head. And I don't know what to do. I think it's not real. I don't wanna fake claim. But I don't wanna fake it. But I feel it. And it' s not funny. We had more than one break down. We all heared our host screaming in pain. more than once. it feels real. It is so painful. We don't know how to treat our littles. Most of us are just teenagers and we don't know how to do that...

    Our parents or rather the body's parents are kinda gaslighting? we don't know... but that is kinda idk... complicated.

    They made jokes about the body's last time trying to unalive themselves.

    We have the problem that we don't know what's real and what's not.

    We have an inner world but just can remember it in dreams and stuff

    we have almost the same memories. That is not normal. Like, usually there are amnesia barriers. Okay sometimes i don't remember stuff but we never just close our eyes and are somewhere else. Like it's not. we can talk but we can't see each other properly. That is the problem. And it's painful. Like it's there or it's not? Can we say, we're system even though we are not diagnosed? Can we say anything? help

    #Depression  #osdd

    2 comments
    Post

    What does #authenticity look like to you?

    #CPTSD #PTSD #MentalHealth #DID #osdd #dissociativedisorders #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #LifeAfterTrauma #letstalkaboutmentalhealth

    We have stated that our system’s goal is authenticity in all areas of life, but we realized that this is a really vague concept. What does that even mean or look like?

    Until very recently, we thought of authenticity as how others view us, but this is completely outside our control. We cannot, nor should we, try to base our happiness on others’ opinions. We would never achieve our goals.

    We had it backwards.

    Instead, we think Authenticity is about how we chose to interact with the world and those around us. It’s about setting clear, firm, and heathy boundaries, then maintaining them.

    So what does that *look* like?

    It looks like using our individual voices instead of covering them up. It looks like letting the #littles dress how they want and dare people to say something about it. It looks like referring to ourselves as “we” or “us” in normal conversations and not worrying about what people think.

    We can’t control the thoughts and opinions of others, but we can control our own thoughts and behaviors. And that’s Authenticity.

    8 comments