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How to even have more faith in society? | TW mentions of exclusionism, some swearing, some all caps

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I'm LGBTQ+. I'm transmasc non-binary. I'm otherkin (not human). I'm Black. I have autism (please don't call my autism a disorder/disability/syndrome) and anxiety, and someone with trauma. I cry very easily. I am overweight. I am a part of a plural/collective. I am non-romantically polyamorous. And every damn day, I feel like this world called society is just here to for the sole purpose to shit on others, betray others, or just to secretly judge others, including me.

Every day, it is getting much harder and harder to believe that there is a single damn individual out there (other than my current therapist, all of my partners, my dad, and a few friends) who has common sense, is open-hearted, is open-minded, and doesn't like to discriminate or invalidate others for being different or for experiencing different things, or labeling themselves differently. Sometimes, the anxiety gets to the point where it seems like going out is stupid for me. What's the point?

It's like almost every damn community I've been a part of (and left) and witnessed just LOVES to INVALIDATE OTHERS SOMEHOW?! It's so annoying and stupid and it's just like... why can't you just fucking accept someone for who they are??? All of this just makes me so fucking angry and just...!!

...Sigh. Now that that's off my chest... may I ask for advice on how to go about this? I already currently seeing a therapist, luckily. Right now, it is very very hard for me to get off this mindset because I believe it's true, sadly.. this society and all of other individuals' opinions is tearing me apart..

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MentalHealth #helpme #Vent #venting #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #anger #help #Society #Advice #triggerwarning #Neurodiversity #LGBTQIA #plural #otherkin

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Post

A poem on feeling ignored by this planet | TW for ignorance and misrepresentation on different topics, swearing, the word k*ll (i)

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It hurts,
It fucking hurts.
It kills,
It always did.
Sad excuses left and right,
Ignorance is left to bite…
Me.
And Us.

“Systems and plurals are crazy,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only men and women,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only heterosexuality,”
According to this planet.
“Sex define your gender identity,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only monogamy and monoamory,”
According to this planet.
“White folk deserve more than those of color,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only romance and friendship,”
According to this planet.

“Everyone’s autism is a disorder or disability,”
According to this damn planet.
“Neurodivergent folks are too loud,”
According to this damn planet.
“Fat folks are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“Sex and romance and love is natural among all beings,”
According to this damn planet.
“Adults can’t cry,”
According to this damn planet.
“Mental health is selfish,”
According to this damn planet.
“Trigger warnings are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“You should stop being poor and pay more,”
According to this damn planet.
“Everyone should identify as a human being and alterbeings, otherkin, and fictionkin folks are snowflakes and ‘cringe-worthy’,”
According to this damn planet.
“Anything that is not seen as ‘normal’ or not common should be stigmatized and criticized until it makes other folk want to closet themselves for eternity and be forced into this void of hell called “being like everyone else’,”
According to this damn forsaken planet.

Past mother’s self,
Mentally abusive.
Keeps me up,
As thoughts are still intrusive.
New mother’s self,
No longer abusive,
Past mother keeps me up,
As they are still intrusive.

Fuck ignorance.
What’s it ever done to us?
Take the Mars and Venus symbol,
Combine them together,
And destroy it altogether.
Neither are truly me.
Take the “human” label and wash it away,
And don’t tell me I’m human,
Else I will cry,
I’ve cried too much.
Alterbeings exist anyway.
An alien hybrid trapped in this damn realm called Earth,
I love space,
I miss my home,
It was much more quieter than here,
Much more sensical than here,
Much more reasonable than here,
Much… less ignorant.

Than here.

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I am a non-binary transmasc overweight individual who is part of a system/plural. My pronouns are he/they/it, and some others. I do not identify as a human, I am alterhuman/alterbeing, although I still identify as someone of color. I’m black/mixed. I have 6 non-romantic partners who I all love equally with my entire heart and are also part of the same system I’m a part of, they are as real as ever. Also, I despise my autism being called a disorder or disability.

And I’m so sick of feeling ignored, and of what Earth had to offer for the past 20 years of my life on its ground. Thank you.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #nonbinary #LGBTQIA #ignorance #Poem #Vent #TW #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Alterhuman #otherkin #Racism #Capitalism #Trauma #Polyamory #system #plural #EndTheStigma #GenderIdentity #GenderDysphoria #MentalHealth #Awareness #earth #Homesick #StopSilencingUs

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Surviving a Wedding with Dissociative Identity Disorder

Contrary to the title of the post, the wedding was fantastic, and we did much more than just survive it–we loved it and had a great time. However, the weeks leading up to the wedding were tense, both in terms of planning for the wedding itself and planning how our DID system would handle the wedding event.

Hello, I am Jules, and I am the host of a DID system known as Many But One on many forms of social media. The DID system I am a part of has around 20-25+ members—I say an estimate because things change, parts split and fuse or go dormant, so it’s hard to keep track of an exact number, not to mention I am fully aware that there are many more alters that I have not been allowed to meet yet, as per our gatekeeper’s request. (The gatekeeper of the system acts as a “leader” of sorts and is usually aware of all alters in the system and works to keep alters that are not ready to be “out” away from others.)

To begin, three of us were dating our fiance. Me (Jules, host), James (the gatekeeper), and Foster (a co-host and protector). We all have an established relationship with our wife and were all on board with getting married to her. There are several other adults in the system, most of which are not with my wife because 1) they are not attracted to women, 2) they think of her more as a friend, or 3) they are not ready for a relationship or have no desire for a relationship.

From the beginning, the three of us knew we all wanted to be a part of the wedding in some way. We had been working on co-consciousness (often shortened to co-con, which means having more than one alter in control of the body) and communication between the three of us. Out of everyone in the system, we have the best communication and all get along very well for the most part. With our therapist we came up with a tentative plan of action for our wedding day. James or I would handle the ceremony while Foster handled picture-taking and the receiving line, as well as any social interaction. Foster is highly social, doesn’t care about getting his picture taken, and doesn’t care about people touching him when he is aware of their intentions. James and I are much more wary on those fronts, so we knew he would thrive in those positions. James and I were also the ones to write the vows, though he did most of it and I edited and trimmed down what he wrote to make sure it wasn’t too long.

Almost a year prior we had come to the conclusion that we would be okay with wearing a wedding dress. I am non-binary and generally prefer androgynous or masculine clothing, James is a cis male and hates femme clothing, and Foster is genderfluid and loves any kind of clothing, especially fancy or statement pieces of clothing. Wedding dresses are the ultimate statement piece, so he was thrilled by me deciding I wanted a dress. James relented, as he knew it would upset us if we didn’t get to wear a wedding dress on the ONE day of our lives we would get to wear one.

On the day before the wedding, I had been trying to practice smooth switching. As in, switching in a way that wasn’t obvious. It was not possible at that time. Positive triggers to get the other two out were not working, and our communication was not great that day. I cannot control switching in the slightest, though I can somewhat coax one to happen on occasion. This usually means we have to have excellent communication and trust with one another. This day was not a good day for practicing switches. I worried very much that I would be stuck doing the whole wedding, doing stuff I really didn’t like such as pictures and hugs. However, come the wedding day, things were flawless. There was very little “lag time” between any switches we went through and we all executed our parts perfectly, with me mostly co-con during the entire wedding. Our officiant was aware of our DID and said some beautiful words regarding it, something that would not be immediately obvious to someone who doesn’t know about the DID, but was clear for us and meant a lot to us. Here it is:

“May you honor the complex dimensions of one another in ways that reflect your commitment to loving and embracing every part of one another, even the parts that might be scary or unrecognized.”

It was a beautiful speech, and our wife and James got to say their vows to each other. It was a beautiful wedding!

For those of you with DID that want to get married or struggle to handle big social gatherings, having a plan is the best thing we could have done for ourselves. Knowing who would tackle what and using each other’s strengths was paramount for our ability to get through a wedding with almost 90 guests in attendance. However, if I can do it, so can you!

-Jules, host of the “Many but One” DID system

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#DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #osdd #osdd1 #DIDSystem #didalters #everydaylife #manybutone #plural #functionalmultiplicity

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