March 7th, this day I woke up and thought the day would be like any other day(#alone , #depressed but still alive),but oh my, I was so wrong! Usually when my mother's or father's death anniversary has suddenly come, I usually just take it as a normal day, thinking about them a little extra than usually, missing them, sometimes sharing a photo on Facebook and write 'the years and I miss you', BUT later this day I got a weird feeling, I felt different, I felt worse (But I felt even more worse after what happened next). This day was the anniversary of my mother's death, 19 years since she passed away on this day, 19 years! The first thing I said to myself after I thought about how many years had gone by was 'Holy Sh**'! I felt I wanted to share the death anniversary in a Facebook group(first time I shared something this big), and because I had seen other members do the same, however, my post got deleted by an administrator of the group, I felt all kinds of emotions, I wrote a new post and told them how I felt about it and I left the group in anger without thinking and I suddenly broke down in tears and couldn't stop crying! Some members reached out to me on messenger and asked me to not leave the group, one of them wrote they had experienced the same thing but asked me to stay in the group and not let this ruin anything for me, but by then I had already left the group. I do appreciate all the support they gave me, I really do! I chose to take some days trying to calm down a bit. I have cried every day since, but luckily I managed to get a few hours without crying. Non of this helped at all, since I started talking with my psychology about every bad and hurtful experiences throughout my life, I've been more #Vulnerable , so now I'm trying to give myself a break, trying to breathe and do other things to distract myself.
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